VN Ren'Py Abandoned Excluded [Ep. 2] [RevisedStrategy]

4.10 star(s) 15 Votes

How important to you (1 lowest, 5 highest) is Audio (music and/or sound effects) in a VN?

  • 1

  • 2

  • 3

  • 4

  • 5


Results are only viewable after voting.

Moviebuff3000

Member
Dec 9, 2017
393
345
This is confusing on what is the relationship with the MC and the 2 sisters if he isn't the brother or boyfriend to either of them and how is he living with them and the mother if he isn't related to anyone? If they are just friends then why is he living with them and not his family? Too many questions and not enough answers in the first part.
 

Deleted member 4850722

New Member
Game Developer
Apr 21, 2022
11
365
Huge thanks to everyone for all of the feedback, the reviews, voting in the poll and to my new patrons too! Here's some of the thoughts I have:

I am seeing a lot of the same criticisms which is good because it allows me to focus in on what needs to change and what I need to plan going forwards in future episodes. Episode length I agree is an issue, so I'll be working overtime to make sure the next episode is lengthier. This week I'm going back over the ending scenes of episode 2 to fill them out a bit more with extra renders and some extra dialogue, as at the moment I think the pacing is a little bit off. When that's done I'll probably post an update here but warn people that it isn't a real update - or I'll just merge it into the episode 3 update.

I don't want to spoon-feed the reader answers to all of the questions posed so far - some things will take multiple episodes/updates before they fully make sense, some won't be apparent until the end of the game. I can maybe do a better job at pointing out to the reader that some "mysteries" will be left unsolved for a while, and will keep that in mind when writing in the future. This is just a problem that comes along with having to develop the game episodically. I want people to play every episode, but understand that short episodes with endings that still leave issues unresolved might be annoying to some. If that's the case, just come back and play after a few episodes! You might enjoy it more if there is more of the story to digest at once.

As for the issue of potentially layering on too many "betrayals" at once - the next episode will be much slower paced and focused more on the MC settling into their new surroundings, rather than dealing too much with melodrama.
 

Simulacrum29

Active Member
Apr 20, 2018
891
3,239
I don't want to spoon-feed the reader answers to all of the questions posed so far - some things will take multiple episodes/updates before they fully make sense, some won't be apparent until the end of the game. I can maybe do a better job at pointing out to the reader that some "mysteries" will be left unsolved for a while, and will keep that in mind when writing in the future.
As long as you don't pull a "Lost" on us, a.k.a. the mysteries don't need an explanation in the end because the story was always about the characters. :p
 
  • Haha
Reactions: anon2323j

ZagorTeNay

Well-Known Member
Jun 28, 2018
1,201
2,331
This is confusing on what is the relationship with the MC and the 2 sisters if he isn't the brother or boyfriend to either of them and how is he living with them and the mother if he isn't related to anyone? If they are just friends then why is he living with them and not his family? Too many questions and not enough answers in the first part.
Likely stepbrother, with girls being Kate's daughters. MC's father isn't mentioned so I'm guessing he's either dead or missing. ( this part writing leaves some holes)
Only thing that would make sense, and Teddy hinted at, that there is something they don't want him to discover at university where Kate worked at.
So I could see this being "justifiable" from their perspective if this would wreck their family ( by sending Kate to jail or something), and it's easier to simply cut MC from their lives completely.
 

RogueEagle

Member
Jul 28, 2017
408
393
I can maybe do a better job at pointing out to the reader that some "mysteries" will be left unsolved for a while, and will keep that in mind when writing in the future. This is just a problem that comes along with having to develop the game episodically. I want people to play every episode, but understand that short episodes with endings that still leave issues unresolved might be annoying to some. If that's the case, just come back and play after a few episodes! You might enjoy it more if there is more of the story to digest at once.

As for the issue of potentially layering on too many "betrayals" at once - the next episode will be much slower paced and focused more on the MC settling into their new surroundings, rather than dealing too much with melodrama.
Getting some "mystery" in the mix is really good, just don't make it a chain of mysteries, those tend to leave a lot forgotten most of the time, usually 2 or 3 main mysteries is fine, above that even the author will lose track...

As for focusing on the MC its an understandeable outcome since the MC is probably tired of dealing with the whole drama and he also has to take care of himself and his needs, not to mention that his friend is already investigating on the inside, so i have the suspicion that the MC will have a lot of free time to think among other things.
 

RogueEagle

Member
Jul 28, 2017
408
393
Hope in the future choices matter in terms of story and relations with the girls.
Im sure that in future episodes the choices will have more outstanding effects and the choice in these 2 will probably play a role in dictating if the MC is over the sisters family or is still hung over it(putting the photo down or taking it), but its too early to tell.
 

underoath27

Well-Known Member
Nov 22, 2020
1,495
1,227
Ok, just played it for the first time and I enjoyed it a lot. Can't wait to see more. I will wait and see why Olivia and Melissa did what they did, but for me, it is clearly that Kate is the "bad guy". I just want to know why MC was living with them, what happened to his real parents?
 

Off_Kilter

Newbie
Donor
Jul 1, 2021
34
40
The way I see it is that Melissa didn't like MC saying that her mom didn't deliver the applications on purpose and convinced Olivia of that. Olivia at the party clearly saw her sister and told MC to go check upstairs, so ditching him there was the plan. Melissa allowed Ellie to get drunk and ditched her there and Melissa didn't drink so she could driver her sister away from the party. I think the reason why Ellie was ghosted with the apartment is so the two sisters could live together, as seen in the Melissa blocking MC scene. I think Olivia feels bad but is more loyal to her sister.

Given this theory, I say give Olivia a chance to explain herself and then decide if the explanaintion is good enough to pick the friendship back up. Ditch any relationship with Kate and Melissa. Make Ellie my girlfriend and see if she is open to MC messing with other girls.
 

Raziel_8

Engaged Member
Dec 4, 2017
3,421
8,569
The way I see it is that Melissa didn't like MC saying that her mom didn't deliver the applications on purpose and convinced Olivia of that. Olivia at the party clearly saw her sister and told MC to go check upstairs, so ditching him there was the plan. Melissa allowed Ellie to get drunk and ditched her there and Melissa didn't drink so she could driver her sister away from the party. I think the reason why Ellie was ghosted with the apartment is so the two sisters could live together, as seen in the Melissa blocking MC scene. I think Olivia feels bad but is more loyal to her sister.

Given this theory, I say give Olivia a chance to explain herself and then decide if the explanaintion is good enough to pick the friendship back up. Ditch any relationship with Kate and Melissa. Make Ellie my girlfriend and see if she is open to MC messing with other girls.
I can't see how Olivia didn't plan for ditching the MC.
Her room at home was empty, that was the day after the party iirc, so she has done it likely before she sneaked to that party, or the first thing after the party and even then either she or Melissa would have needed a car, else she would have run in the MC and his buddy...not to mention she apparently did it before even trying to contact the MC, which is also a bit off, after she dichted him without a word the night before.

One would question what the mother or Melissa are saying about the MC, that all of them are so ready to abondon him, even if they were like family for years...

Yeah, Elli is my choice as well, something about the blonde not girlfriend seems a bit off.
 

RogueEagle

Member
Jul 28, 2017
408
393
I can't see how Olivia didn't plan for ditching the MC.
Her room at home was empty, that was the day after the party iirc, so she has done it likely before she sneaked to that party, or the first thing after the party and even then either she or Melissa would have needed a car, else she would have run in the MC and his buddy...not to mention she apparently did it before even trying to contact the MC, which is also a bit off, after she dichted him without a word the night before.

One would question what the mother or Melissa are saying about the MC, that all of them are so ready to abondon him, even if they were like family for years...

Yeah, Elli is my choice as well, something about the blonde not girlfriend seems a bit off.
Agreed, by the way, notice that in the party Olivia actually sees Melissa and starts to act weird and proceeds to tell the MC to split up and for him to search the upper floor, plus her house was empty not even half a day after the party, plus the new apartment the sisters are renting was rented days before according to MC conversation since not even her mom could make a deal like that move so quickly, PLUS Olivia had a whole day to contact the MC but never did, guilty guilty conscience? probably, by this point if i have a choice in game to move on and forget about them, i would do it just like i left their picture turnet on their table.
 

BrknParts

Newbie
Aug 4, 2020
16
26
Agreed, by the way, notice that in the party Olivia actually sees Melissa and starts to act weird and proceeds to tell the MC to split up and for him to search the upper floor, plus her house was empty not even half a day after the party, plus the new apartment the sisters are renting was rented days before according to MC conversation since not even her mom could make a deal like that move so quickly, PLUS Olivia had a whole day to contact the MC but never did, guilty guilty conscience? probably, by this point if i have a choice in game to move on and forget about them, i would do it just like i left their picture turnet on their table.
"Left their picture turned on their table Gang"!!
oh man, I can see the dev posting pics half naked or fully naked even of these girls on his Patreon, and everyone be like "I hate that bitch"
joking aside, I really like the way things are developing so far
 

RogueEagle

Member
Jul 28, 2017
408
393
"Left their picture turned on their table Gang"!!
oh man, I can see the dev posting pics half naked or fully naked even of these girls on his Patreon, and everyone be like "I hate that bitch"
joking aside, I really like the way things are developing so far
indeed, hard to like characters that do premeditated stuff and expect a "i understand you babe"
 
  • Like
Reactions: BrknParts

HentaiKami

Engaged Member
Jan 27, 2019
2,322
3,407
indeed, hard to like characters that do premeditated stuff and expect a "i understand you babe"
Personally i'm not going to go so far as to cut them completely out of MC's life if given choice, if you can make them understand how much their actions hurt him and they are willing to actually do the work needed for restoring trust between MC and them. Even if i do end up cutting them out of the MC's life, i do want them to explain to MC why they did what they did. Otherwise i can see it haunting MC in the future.
 

BrknParts

Newbie
Aug 4, 2020
16
26
if you can make them understand how much their actions hurt him and they are willing to actually do the work needed for restoring trust between MC and them
I think a saw a porn plot with submissive girls that go around those lines, there is a chance that you're right

Even if i do end up cutting them out of the MC's life, i do want them to explain to MC why they did what they did. Otherwise i can see it haunting MC in the future.
I can agree with you on that
They Explain > They're wrong about the way they act through it > submissive girls join the "Harem"
Or
They Explain > They're wrong about the way they act through it > The Mc never want to see them again
 

Palim palim

Newbie
Nov 3, 2020
54
80
Dear Developer, about your Survey about the Audio

If you make a game that is a 70% without sound,
  • some simple sounds will not change much on this but reason that 70% (and i speak here only about some clicks, soudnseffects and maybe one long background track)
  • If you add more sounds but still humble it is more work but adds not much
  • If you add more sounds but really well done it can raise your game up to 80-85%
  • If you add not just more sounds but complete the experience, use the sounds to carry emotions it goes even higher up, but then it is not just adding sounds, then it is like drawing a Picture and need much time
  • If you decide to turn a game into a Movie with spoken text and music you surely can make it outstanding, but thats normally beyond everything a small developer with 1-3 People can realize.
So i dont vote in your survey because in my opoinion its a 1,2 and 5 of 5. I suggest you to add only basic sounds, and when you finished your base game decide what you can realistically do. I can only speak for me but in most cases its more a drawback than a feature if for example only one women of 10 has audio. Besides that its a trap many Developer here walk in. Stay at your base game and develop the Framework, and then develop into the Deep (so that people see at least for one character where the jurney goes) and then develop other characters that go into the deep. Nothing is more anoying and senseless than going broad, add many characters, nice sounds, many random renders only to understand after 3 Years that you never will finish all of that.

That said, i came here to check on the game, so i did not play it until now. So take this suggestion as a universal tip from someone who never did that on himself, i plan since many years to make a game, and so i analyzed for myself what is doable, but i never did more than mod normal games, my biggest mods i made have been around 1000 Hours work.
 

HentaiKami

Engaged Member
Jan 27, 2019
2,322
3,407
I think a saw a porn plot with submissive girls that go around those lines, there is a chance that you're right


I can agree with you on that
They Explain > They're wrong about the way they act through it > submissive girls join the "Harem"
Or
They Explain > They're wrong about the way they act through it > The Mc never want to see them again
Not even meant that submissive part, but just in general, while this is the level of betrayal that would make me seriously lose trust on the people, especially since they were close, i would still allow them to try and fix the trust they broke, if they are honest about it. But if any betrayal like this happened again, then there would be nothing they could try and fix.
 

RogueEagle

Member
Jul 28, 2017
408
393
Not even meant that submissive part, but just in general, while this is the level of betrayal that would make me seriously lose trust on the people, especially since they were close, i would still allow them to try and fix the trust they broke, if they are honest about it. But if any betrayal like this happened again, then there would be nothing they could try and fix.
I do believe acording to some hints here and there that at some point both sisters will find out that either their mom is lying or that some other plot is behind it and then there are a couple of possible outcomes...

1. Olivia has a fight with Melissa because she made her betray the MC wich will lead to Olivia pleading for MC forgiveness then later on through a slow burn of weird encounters Melissa will also try to ask for forgiveness of both.

2. They don't have a fight but they will struggle with guilt and will eventually ask for the MC forgiveness.

3. On an extreme case both of them keep making mistakes while they don't find out the truth wich can lead to the MC going beyond the boiling point with either their mom or the sisters wich will lead to a break point in wich they will stay separated for a long time and at some point the sisters will question their mom version of the story because of how believable the MC version of the story was and his reaction, wich will eventually lead to a weird forgiveness tale of sorts.

4. The author has none of that and goes the supernatural route and throws everyone off on their theories.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BrknParts

Simulacrum29

Active Member
Apr 20, 2018
891
3,239
I do believe acording to some hints here and there that at some point both sisters will find out that either their mom is lying or that some other plot is behind it and then there are a couple of possible outcomes...

1. Olivia has a fight with Melissa because she made her betray the MC wich will lead to Olivia pleading for MC forgiveness then later on through a slow burn of weird encounters Melissa will also try to ask for forgiveness of both.

2. They don't have a fight but they will struggle with guilt and will eventually ask for the MC forgiveness.

3. On an extreme case both of them keep making mistakes while they don't find out the truth wich can lead to the MC going beyond the boiling point with either their mom or the sisters wich will lead to a break point in wich they will stay separated for a long time and at some point the sisters will question their mom version of the story because of how believable the MC version of the story was and his reaction, wich will eventually lead to a weird forgiveness tale of sorts.

4. The author has none of that and goes the supernatural route and throws everyone off on their theories.
giphy.gif
 
  • Like
Reactions: RogueEagle

underoath27

Well-Known Member
Nov 22, 2020
1,495
1,227
I think it is funny that the sisters, apparently, plotted against MC. Olivia asks MC to the party to talk to Melissa, then asks him to go look for her and says that the first one who find Mel should call the other, then Olivia finds Mel, doesn't tell MC, both leave together, MC tries to call, especially Olivia, several times, she doesn't asnwer and then, she calls him ONCE and because MC's battery cell phone can't answer, then Mel says that he doesn't care. Really, bitch?!?!
PS: Sorry for mistakes, English isn't my first language and I'm still learning.
 
4.10 star(s) 15 Votes