VN Ren'Py Abandoned Excluded [Ep. 2] [RevisedStrategy]

[Crowangel]

I'll pretty much say what i said on the patreon so its public and not hidden from casual eyes.. The mc looks too old for starting college and a few of the girls seem like they are too.. tbh its like typical college film casting hiring 30+'s to play the role of late teens and early twentys.. the plot is great its a unique take on college game scenario and the stort is interesting enough to want to read but a lil extra time making some of the characters their appropiate llooking age range would only add to its great visuals..

 

[Okyturi]

A little bit on the fence with this one.
its like 3.5/5 which is good but not great.
As in character models are pretty good but not great, story could get intesting but atm I think it will have lots of logical holes (hopefully I am wrong on this) in it, both updates were very short. It could turn into something great but wouldnt bet on it atm. Hopefully wrong.

 

[Cigzag]

Not a bad start, but what exactly is the MC's place in Olivia's family? He isn't related to them apparently, but also doesn't seem to have any family of his own...huh!? The MC also never once thanked Teddy after all the nice things he did for him, maybe that's why Olivia and her family are distancing themselves from him. Seems a bit of a douche.

Also what does "at steady" mean? (this was used twice at the party and makes no sense) I like the potential for drama the story has going so far though and the renders are really nice.

 

[xxTHESTYGIANxx]

I have read alot of posts defending Mel and Olivia, saying there was no betrayal.

However, there was the MC asking Olivia what was going on multiple times, with no answer or change of subject. There was Olivia promising an answer once they found Mel. There was diching the MC at the party then ghosting him. There was Mel ghosting her friend and room mate. There was the revelation of the applications never being turned in by the mom. There was Mel saying Mom was right he doesnt care. There was Mel then going further and blocking not only the MC's number but her friends to as "collateral Damage".

So for those that don't see "Betrayal" there ya go.

 

[BrknParts]

If I have the chance to mistreat those girls, I'll.
I don't care about the sexual content in future releases, I just want them to suffer...
I don't care either if their mom manipulated those girls, they should have said to the MC, They should have trusted him, but I understand their own mom
And that's something well written. The releases are taking some time and they're short, but they're worth it.

 

[RogueEagle]

By the end of the day im starting to get what the author wants to do, he wants that mystery starting by the many "strange" moments when he is opening up to the sister about their mom Kate, when they are sneaking around in the party, the fact that there are no recent photos of the MC with the family, the fact that Kate doesn't want both the MC and Olivia to enter the school so its not a grudge against the MC himself but another mystery and of course one of my favorite that in my opnion is going to be a blast or a shock for the MC, the last 2 girls that are not yet named that are going to live with the MC and his side chick...

I can see the plot going either side of the spectrum, MC meeting someone he doesn't know and making an actual relation that will make him grow apart from Kate and the sisters or MC meeting the sisters and some level of "emotional damage" will play...

Noboby except the author knows by this point...

 

[RogueEagle]

If I have the chance to mistreat those girls, I'll.
I don't care about the sexual content in future releases, I just want them to suffer...
I don't care either if their mom manipulated those girls, they should have said to the MC, They should have trusted him, but I understand their own mom
And that's something well written. The releases are taking some time and they're short, but they're worth it.

that is something i can agree on, they know the MC probably for as long as they know their mom since they are childhood friends acording to hints here and there, almost like a brother and all of a sudden nobody believes or trusts in him enough to give him some level of truth or understanding? dik move if i ever seen one, that in my book is unforgivable at least for a few months, so chances are if the game spans a few months i'll probably make them see how miserable they are then i'll think if i'll forgive them or not, and by forgive i mean going back to known status, no friend or lover, that they will have to fight for.

 

[BrknParts]

so chances are if the game spans a few months I'll probably make them see how miserable they are then I'll think if I'll forgive them or not, and by forgive I mean going back to known status, no friend or lover, that they will have to fight for.

Spoiler: Spoiler of Ep.2

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And just like I said in the first episode, that setup is really hard to resolve, that's why I'm so curious because the author already makes us hate/dislike/despise the 2 sisters...
What is have to happen to fix this? There's a fix for this?
It's too early to tell, and maybe my hype is too great, it's been a while since I don't find something that readable

 

[RogueEagle]

Spoiler: Spoiler of Ep.2

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And just like I said in the first episode, that setup is really hard to resolve, that's why I'm so curious because the author already makes us hate/dislike/despise the 2 sisters...
What is have to happen to fix this? There's a fix for this?
It's too early to tell, and maybe my hype is too great, it's been a while since I don't find something that readable

chances are its going to be a plot like "Melissa finds after entering college that her mom lied about everything and that the MC was telling the truth all along, then feels somewhat bad or desperate to try and explain her side to the MC wich leads to the MC either understanding or despise the sisters even more for their lack of trust in him".
At least that is one of my theories of what can happen with the story im given so far.

 

[pyr0w]

Is this the point where we are supposed to say "found the cheater"?

Is this some sort of reference or in-joke? Because I don't get it.

 

[anon2323j]

Is this some sort of reference or in-joke? Because I don't get it.

I think it's just a joke on the dissertation written to justify Melissa and Olivia's actions, because "we just don't know why".
Apparently all their selfish actions can be hand waived if "they had a reason".

 

[pyr0w]

...there was the MC asking Olivia what was going on multiple times, with no answer or change of subject.

Seems like totally normal behavior from someone who acts super submissive and is terrified of confrontation (literally no one wants to talk about anything)

...There was the revelation of the applications never being turned in by the mom.

No no no.

1. We gave applications to Mom.
2. Mom said she would turn them in.
3. ?????
4. School does not currently have evidence that they were turned in.

Most people just ASSUME that 3. means she didn't turn them in.
But we have no PROOF.

Which is the difference between:

• X happened
• I THINK X happened

Which are not at all the same thing.

There was diching the MC at the party then ghosting him. There was Mel ghosting her friend and room mate.

I don't see how this is betrayal.
Maybe we don't agree on what the word "Betrayal" actually means.

Not betrayal:

• Finishing the peanut butter and not telling your roommates.
• Your ex-wife saying she will pick the kids up at 2pm, but showing up at 3pm.
• Roommate borrowing your car and parking it in the wrong spot to unload groceries.

Betrayal:

• Putting drugs in peanut butter and leaving it in the cabinet.
• Your ex-wife parking 2 blocks away from your house and waiting an extra hour to pick up the kids, to make you miss a flight/work meeting/job interview.
• Roommate borrowing your car without telling you and disappearing for a week.

There is both an implied level of harm and intentional breach of trust involved.

Further, Olivia bringing us to the party at all makes no sense.
How does she benefit by ditching us?
What would have happened if we met Mel first?
Why not just take a cab? Or ask us to drop her off at a party?
I'm WAY less concerned with the minor party-foul of leaving the party without telling us (Remember that MC drove. He isn't stranded or anything) compared to WHY we were even brought there. Because going there in the first place doesn't seem to benefit anyone. We clearly don't have enough information to be making judgements.

There was Mel then going further and blocking not only the MC's number but her friends to as "collateral Damage".

Which is the mystery. We know that something is going on. But we don't know what or why.

None of this directly excuses anyone IF they were acting in bad faith.
But there seems to be an awful lot of piling-on to some very thin threads here.
And those thin threads definitely don't "hold weight".

 

[pyr0w]

I think it's just a joke on the dissertation written to justify Melissa and Olivia's actions, because "we just don't know why".
Apparently all their selfish actions can be hand waived if "they had a reason".

Well, I clearly pointed out that many of the things they were being accused of either didn't actually happen, or at least none of us actually know what happened.

That's not the same thing as justifying their actions.

There seems to be a whole lot of "I want to believe my own internal version of the events" going on here.

 

[anon2323j]

There seems to be a whole lot of "I want to believe my own internal version of the events" going on here.

 

[Malika1234]

not bad... i hope all of this is not because of some misunderstanding but lets see how everything unfold.

 

[HentaiKami]

Maybe we don't agree on what the word "Betrayal" actually means.

I would call what happened as serious betrayal of someone's trust. By the time of the party Olivia and Melissa both knew that Olivia was accepted into the college and that they had appartment lined up. So the reason to get MC to go to the party was most likely so their mom could have Olivia's stuff moved out to the new apartment without MC knowing. Perhaps Olivia herself didn't know about that part of the plan by her mother and sister, but it's pretty obvious if you think about it that this was the reason MC had to come to the party. When MC went to get his stuff from their home, he did check Olivia's room and was surprised that it was already empty of her clothes and stuff. Also what Melissa did was betrayal of her friends trust, she had agreement with her on splitting a rent clearly, but went behind her back to just disappear and leave that apartment and its rent to her, after using her connections to get Olivia in the College.

 

[Simulacrum29]

Well, I clearly pointed out that many of the things they were being accused of either didn't actually happen, or at least none of us actually know what happened.

That's not the same thing as justifying their actions.

There seems to be a whole lot of "I want to believe my own internal version of the events" going on here.

 

[RogueEagle]

I would call what happened as serious betrayal of someone's trust. By the time of the party Olivia and Melissa both knew that Olivia was accepted into the college and that they had appartment lined up. So the reason to get MC to go to the party was most likely so their mom could have Olivia's stuff moved out to the new apartment without MC knowing. Perhaps Olivia herself didn't know about that part of the plan by her mother and sister, but it's pretty obvious if you think about it that this was the reason MC had to come to the party. When MC went to get his stuff from their home, he did check Olivia's room and was surprised that it was already empty of her clothes and stuff. Also what Melissa did was betrayal of her friends trust, she had agreement with her on splitting a rent clearly, but went behind her back to just disappear and leave that apartment and its rent to her, after using her connections to get Olivia in the College.

Agreed, people giving the sisters a pass in this situation probably don't know the concept of betrayal, i wouldn't be surprised if the scheme began the day that they told Melissa about the papers not arriving because of their mom, it was all too convenient for them, all prepared beforehand like the appartment, the single spot available, i wouldn't be surprised if they used the whole "she wouldn't take the spot of her daughter too" just to take the suspicions off them, some shaddy BS is going on but by the end of the day what they did doesn't deserve forgiveness or a pass, if i was the MC i would just do like Ellie said, "screw them" and just go on with my life and if they came back for forgiveness i would just say "okay, bye!".

 

[J.R.]

My character - summary after playing EP2:

Melissa/Mel:
At first unhappy that the sister and the MC do not also go to the same college. So the two of them now try to transfer there. However, it doesn't work out (the form for this was never handed in by the mother). After the MC and Olivia tell her this, she bitches, ignores their contact attempts and even ignores her current girlfriend/roommate, leave the shared flat.
After she finds out from Olivia at the party that with Ellie's help Olivia can go to college after all, they both leave the party, pack up Melissa's things and leave. Surprisingly, she still ignores Ellie - who actually helped with the situation.
For me a spoiled brat, manipulative. In short: a bitch. To hell with her.

Olivia
Seems to be under the thumb of her sister and mother. Actually wants to contact the MC, but is prevented from doing so by stupid circumstances (the empty battery). Now Melissa tries to convince her that the MC is the evil one.... To me, the dumb one, a sub. Maybe good for a fuck...

Ellie
As written above she was actually trying to help her friend. By breaking off contact with Melissa she is now unhappy, has to look for a new place to live (probably because of the costs since Melissa moved out). Don't know why, but for me actually an interesting LI candidate

Kate/"Mom"
Still not enough details why she doesn't want the MC and especially Olivia join Melissa in the college. Probably no good ulterior motives though. Therefore so far the "bad guy" in the game (with Melissa).

Celeste
The "not" girlfriend, who nevertheless seems to be a girlfriend.
For me a LI, but not number one (to easy to get...)

Charlotte, Victoria, Celeste, Amber
A few of them could be interesting, but not enough info yet.


Teddy
The ultimate mate...

The MC
I'm unsure about him, just like the MC himself with the whloe situation. We don't know his actual role in the "family" yet, he's apparently not directly related. But he has been living with Melissa/Olivia/Kate already for a while. Therefore for me logical that he's trying to get in touch with Olivia/Melissa.


All in all an interesting game so far with much drama potential.

 

[pyr0w]

By the time of the party Olivia and Melissa both knew that Olivia was accepted into the college...

Technically true, but if I remember correctly, the only reason Mel knew was because Ellie told her. Olivia did not yet know that Mel was aware yet because Mel wasn't answering Olivia's calls. Ellie arranged the meeting to try and mend things with Mel, who shouldn't have known anything at that point. That is, unless Ellie told Mel that she was inviting Olivia, which we have no indication of happening.

...and that they had appartment lined up...

Definitely not.
Our information so far doesn't indicate that Mel had any actual plans during the party. Olivia showed up. They decided to leave.
And the excuse we have for not seeing Mom when MC is getting his stuff is that Mom must be helping them get an appartment on short notice.

So the reason to get MC to go to the party was most likely so their mom could have Olivia's stuff moved out to the new apartment without MC knowing....
... but it's pretty obvious if you think about it that this was the reason MC had to come to the party. When MC went to get his stuff from their home, he did check Olivia's room and was surprised that it was already empty of her clothes and stuff....

While not impossible, I find that HIGHLY unlikely.
If everything in Olivia's room could be packed up and moved in a few hours, then MC wouldn't need to be taken out of town to cover up the move.
And why cover up anything to begin with?

Mom clearly has resources. You can clear out a single bedroom in 3-4 hours. Tops.
Hell, a few movers could have had everything important out in 30 minutes.

I honestly think it's a stretch to think that MC was lured to the part for that.
But then again, I haven't seen any good reason for him to be there. So maybe?

Also what Melissa did was betrayal of her friends trust, she had agreement with her on splitting a rent clearly, but went behind her back to just disappear and leave that apartment and its rent to her, after using her connections to get Olivia in the College.

First, Mel didn't find out about Ellie helping Olivia and MC until about 1 week before the party. That is when they had their fight, and Mel hasn't spoken to Ellie or "been around much" since then.
Remember, they didn't go to the party together. They were just both at the same party.

The rent thing? Yeah, I can see that. That would definitely be a betrayal in my book...if that is indeed what happens.
This might be putting a BIT too much 'real world logic' into it, but that probably wouldn't be how it worked.
IRL, Mel would still be on the hook for her half of the rent until their contract was up.
And given that they are a week before school starts, that contract would probably go through the entire semester. Maybe the whole academic year. Ellie wouldn't HAVE to move out right away.
Then again, people sign stupid contracts. Especially inexperienced college kids. So who knows?

Also, am I remembering that one scene incorrectly? Ellie said Mel's stuff was still in her room when MC drove her home (or the next morning).
She didn't just disappear. She was avoiding Ellie. Then took off with her sister from a party.

We DO see the sisters SOMEWHERE during that last phone call scene. And it does look like some sort of living space.
But we don't know if that is a new apartment or anything.

It wouldn't be impossible to find a furnished apartment in a day. Especially with family real estate firm connections.
But that DOES seem awful fast.

But who knows about any of this stuff? We could all be arguing about unintentional plot holes from an inexperienced writer.
I only wrote my first post because I found all the characters to be completely unreasonable, incredibly fragile individuals.
I've never been defending any of their actions, I think they are all pretty bat-shit.
I just think it is equally crazy that so many people seem to be condemning them for stuff that literally didn't happen.

-----

Anyway guys. I'm done here.
It's been fun, but these posts are getting way too long and I have a bunch of work I should be doing this week.
Cheers.