Keep in mind the latest official build does not have VR. They are supposedly adding it back in in the future but whether this actually happens, or whether they make a total mess out of it, is yet to be seen.
Also worth noting that Patreons terms are essentially "fuck you," stretched out to several thousand words:
Even if you could find enough people willing to be signed up to a class action over a porn game you'd need to do it in a jurisdiction where this has no chance of being upheld, and then you'd need to hope that they don't find Helius (who is almost certainly outside of any reasonable legal jurisdiction) to be the liable party.
Moral of the story is don't buy unfinished products on Patreon unless you're either very confident in the creator delivering or indifferent about them not delivering.
Their terms you quoted are bullshit which is a common maneuver to throw a bunch of shit that tries to scare the consumer into thinking it is correct to avoid being pursued in court. Often they're quite excessively broad, too.
A court determines the penalties and they can definitely exceed what they gained. What they're trying to position is known as a Limitation of Liability but they're often not enforceable between a business and a consumer and are more practical for inter-business relationships.
More can be read here as to why they can be seen as unenforceable in court:
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The most obvious issue that Patreon would risk a class action lawsuit over is precisely Gross Negligence, which is coincidentally one of the key reasons limitation of liability can be denied by a court. The most obvious cause would be if it can be proven that a Patreon creator was intentionally misleading / blatant fraud and attempting to exploit interest/profit by such habitual maneuvers and Patreon was made acutely provably aware yet chose to do nothing. This no longer falls under unfulfilled offerings or promises and the creator would also not be able to argue it as just a mere promise. Such a promise could also be challenged as to why it is not being met in court which can prove especially damning without a particularly good reason it wasn't upheld or if it was one that was never realistically reasonable to begin with.
Another issue is in some states LoL is way more restricted and easier to invalidate as it depends on jurisdiction, which could prove not to work in Patreon's favor.
However, it is definitely a giant fuck you and don't even bother legalese.
Most damning is good luck ever getting a class action moving or a competent legal team over a porn game. Proving negligence would also be a task. That said, Helius has certainly not made proving it impossible.
I mostly agree with your moral of the story with a slight adjustment. It isn't as bad if you are willing/can afford to throw away the money and it is a relatively small amount, especially if it is something that interests you and already has immediate rewards such as this game. The sad part is if Helius were a better scammer he could just update the game to be presented as a live service or freemium product and bill people regularly, or the same way as currently doing, by nature rather than eating flack because his constant failed promise of release and the haunting visage of "Unfinished game".
