Alright, let me cool things off here. I think you have a great game, on which you've worked very hard, and I give you credit for reading and responding to me. The problem I think (remember, this is just my opinion) with your game has comes down to an English-Writing problem. Some of it is a big change in pace, plot. But most of it revolves around English language narration and dialogue. Frankly, there might even be a translation issue between you and me, as none of what I said was meant maliciously! I wrote that your prologue was one of the top 25 best games on the site if it were left alone! And also, I put my money where my mouth was and even offered to do the job myself for a negotiable rate.
It takes two to tango, and I realize now that I've contributed to the hostility, and I'm sorry. Like really. I'm sorry. Not enough people just apologize anymore. I'm wrong frequently, and still think I'm a pretty decent well-meaning person. My ego can take the hit. If there are keyboard warriors here that just want to drag you down, I'm not one. I genuinely
want your game to do well.
So, I will be civil and careful here but I do think I've brought up some issues that could benefit from clarification. I have absolutely no problem with someone being on the hook for both praise and responsibility. I think your response makes it clear that you are doing 99% of the work here. Mea culpa. But it might still be helpful then to adjust the first post on this thread to reflect that it isn't a team, it's you. In the developers note you use language that makes it seem like it's a team project. I can only speak for myself, but that obviously confused me.
Another point of clarification would be addressing that there were changes to the folks doing the translation and that this either did (or did not) cause a bump in the development road. I have absolutely no idea what
Wicked Garden is like to work with, but I can tell you that the translation in the prologue is very, very well done... And it does appear to change in quality after his departure. I'm sure that really sucks to hear; and it sounds like there's more to the story there, so I'm sorry if that's a sore subject. I'm just telling you my opinion and what I've observed from others here.
First, I don't know why some people are saying the first version is "lighter." It's not. It's fucking dark. It's just a more relatable type of dark (IN MY OPINION). I know people who've been shot. They acted like your MC did in the beginning. I was floored by how well this was done.
That said, I think there is a change in tone, to one that is a little more bitter or cynical. (IN MY OPINION) The MC you introduced in part one doesn't seem like someone who routinely effed prostitutes at any point in his past. HOWEVER, there's no reason why any game can't take a bitter turn and do so successfully. There doesn't NECESSARILY have to be any build up. Plot twists and tone changes are executed successfully everywhere in creative projects. Some of the comments on here have come close to being racist in their anger about the introduction of Japanese characters and scenery. There's no reason why the game can't take place in Japan. There's no reason the main characters can't appear white. THAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM. I wrote that I would be willing to go render by render with you over the writing/execution. Meaning you do NO NEW WORK. I offered to help you write a more cohesive story in a non-native language. This is, after all, a visual NOVEL. And writing a novel in a non-native language isn't supposed to be "easy." I think it's completely reasonable to expect there to be the exact type of speed bumps you've been having. I'm not suggesting you try to make everyone happy. I've pointed to issues I think your story would be better for addressing.
I guess the point I'm driving towards, is that I think your game would be better if you had more help with the writing. This isn't about money, it's about bringing your vision to life in a way your vision deserves. I want your game to be the best game on the site. I think it could be. BUT! I think you need some help to get it there.
Finally, if I'm being honest, I probably let some sour grapes about past projects where I've done both translation from MLT to normal speech and major editing but only been credited/compensated as a translator. That was shitty of me. I was a self-righteous jerk for portions of what I wrote. I take responsibility for that, and am sorry.
All of us have ego, and occasionally mine makes a fool of me. I try to apologize honestly, and I try to live my life with good intentions. I think, on balance, meaning well--and not considering myself superior to anyone--counts for a lot. In my own life, I have benefited from the help of others. If you don't want my help, that's cool. Honestly, I'm pretty busy anyway. But I do think your vision could be better executed with help. I have explained why. I hope you don't hate me for thinking that, but ultimately that's up to you.
