VN Ren'Py Innocent Witches [v0.11 Alpha] [Sad Crab]

3.00 star(s) 326 Votes
Discussion Reviews (326)
C

CWinthorpArl

Newbie
Jul 16, 2017
15
25
I have no idea what is going on while playing this game. The dialogue is a fucking Riddle unto itself. The choices are meaningless, vapid tidbits about whatever the fuck the writer decided to churn out in a language that was most certainly not originally english (edit: or maybe it is? the quality of writing changes rather sporadically). I don't even mean to be rude here, but I really haven't the faintest clue what anyone is talking about. Characters are just spewing dialogue without a care.

The art is fantastic, though.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: jeebushey, MaviusJones and MisterDuck
Khan

Khan

Member
Game Developer
Apr 4, 2017
472
742
CWinthorpArl said:
I have no idea what is going on while playing this game. The dialogue is a fucking Riddle unto itself. The choices are meaningless, vapid tidbits about whatever the fuck the writer decided to churn out in a language that was most certainly not originally english (edit: or maybe it is? the quality of writing changes rather sporadically). I don't even mean to be rude here, but I really haven't the faintest clue what anyone is talking about. Characters are just spewing dialogue without a care.

The art is fantastic, though.
Click to expand...
Can you example? And what plot are you play?
 
Khan

Khan

Member
Game Developer
Apr 4, 2017
472
742
CWinthorpArl said:
I think that'll do.
Click to expand...
Excellent feedback, like usual without examples, taking into account the fact that the entire text is first translated by a native speaker, and then also by an editor who is a native language teacher in his country. (I am not a writer, so I can write incorrectly or with errors because it is not my native language.)
 
  • Haha
Reactions: jeebushey and Idontplay
Scove

Scove

Newbie
Mar 20, 2020
47
32
Khan said:
Excellent feedback, like usual without examples, taking into account the fact that the entire text is first translated by a native speaker, and then also by an editor who is a native language teacher in his country. (I am not a writer, so I can write incorrectly or with errors because it is not my native language.)
Click to expand...
Don't let them discourage you Khan. Great game and story line! Keep up the good work.
 
J

jeebushey

New Member
Feb 2, 2020
11
26
Khan said:
Excellent feedback, like usual without examples, taking into account the fact that the entire text is first translated by a native speaker, and then also by an editor who is a native language teacher in his country. (I am not a writer, so I can write incorrectly or with errors because it is not my native language.)
Click to expand...
Don't know who your writer is, but if that's true that he is a language teacher, you might want to get an actual writer (preferably one who is also a good editor). Translating a text word for word or as close to the original script is not always the best way of 'translating'. Meanings get lost, and branches of dialogue that might have made sense in the native language might not make so much sense in the language you are translating to. Just a thought from someone who's trilingual and consumes media in all of them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WeaselX and CWinthorpArl
Khan

Khan

Member
Game Developer
Apr 4, 2017
472
742
jeebushey said:
Don't know who your writer is, but if that's true that he is a language teacher, you might want to get an actual writer (preferably one who is also a good editor). Translating a text word for word or as close to the original script is not always the best way of 'translating'. Meanings get lost, and branches of dialogue that might have made sense in the native language might not make so much sense in the language you are translating to. Just a thought from someone who's trilingual and consumes media in all of them.
Click to expand...
I completely agree with your statement, but how many patrons have already played in our versions of the game, if there were problems or inconsistencies in the text, then we promptly corrected them. At the moment, there may be some errors or incorrect phrases left, but we are not informed about them (And do not give examples)
 
J

jeebushey

New Member
Feb 2, 2020
11
26
Khan said:
I completely agree with your statement, but how many patrons have already played in our versions of the game, if there were problems or inconsistencies in the text, then we promptly corrected them. At the moment, there may be some errors or incorrect phrases left, but we are not informed about them (And do not give examples)
Click to expand...
In that case it would be up to the writer/competent translator to seek out awkward sentences and promptly rewrite parts of the script, which is why I suggested it. I know you personally won't be able to accurately pinpoint what does or doesn't read awkwardly since english isn't your native language. You would need examples and, for native english speakers who casually play your game, that's too tedious as they would have to point out what is awkward and why it's awkward. Patreons also have a tendency to accept what they are given because they pay for it and have personal biases-- and that applies to everything, not just this game.

In the end if your goal is to satisfy patreons, then you'll (almost) always be doing fine. If your goal is to make something that appeals to people beyond your patreons, and satisfies your personal standards, that's where you will struggle. And it's up to you if you think that's worth the effort.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WeaselX
S

SuddenReal

Well-Known Member
Jun 21, 2017
1,541
2,310
jeebushey said:
In that case it would be up to the writer/competent translator to seek out awkward sentences and promptly rewrite parts of the script, which is why I suggested it.
Click to expand...
What you're describing is an editor. Writers can't review their own work, since they're biased.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WeaselX
Khan

Khan

Member
Game Developer
Apr 4, 2017
472
742
jeebushey said:
In that case it would be up to the writer/competent translator to seek out awkward sentences and promptly rewrite parts of the script, which is why I suggested it. I know you personally won't be able to accurately pinpoint what does or doesn't read awkwardly since english isn't your native language. You would need examples and, for native english speakers who casually play your game, that's too tedious as they would have to point out what is awkward and why it's awkward. Patreons also have a tendency to accept what they are given because they pay for it and have personal biases-- and that applies to everything, not just this game.

In the end if your goal is to satisfy patreons, then you'll (almost) always be doing fine. If your goal is to make something that appeals to people beyond your patreons, and satisfies your personal standards, that's where you will struggle. And it's up to you if you think that's worth the effort.
Click to expand...
We already adapt jokes, phrases, proverbs, etc. in the game into English, I just want examples of where and why the text is allegedly translated incorrectly or meaning is lost
 
A

Appo@

New Member
Jul 14, 2018
1
0
Hi I got the last version for mac (0.9a) but the game exits telling me it's not the most recent version. What can I do?
 
Khan

Khan

Member
Game Developer
Apr 4, 2017
472
742
Appo@ said:
Hi I got the last version for mac (0.9a) but the game exits telling me it's not the most recent version. What can I do?
Click to expand...
Download for free public version 0.8.4B or be a patron for the latest 0.9B
You must be registered to see the links
 
  • Like
Reactions: Appo@
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
3.00 star(s) 326 Votes