VN Ren'Py Abandoned Krown [Ep.3] [RG]

[RG 00]

How is sacrificing your mother a “small sacrifice?”

You control the story. It doesn’t control you. If the MC will never become strong enough to stand up to his older brother then you have created a MC that will not be enjoyable to many players. Weakness in a story only works if it grows into strength and is over come. But if you want to force such a choice then that’s your prerogative. If my bother was keeping me from saying my mother’s life I would kill him, even IRL, if the choice was my brother endangering my mother or me taking him out, that’s an easy choice. The MC sounds like he’s unwilling to ever stand up to him, so going with brother sounds like the MC will only do what the brother allows him to. So the MC can get with mom because the older brother allows it, making your MC sound weak and pathetic. But maybe I’m reading too much into your words. And if the brother is keeping the MC from being able to save his mother and build a harem then it is hard to trust that the brother isn’t going “do things” behind the scenes. What authority does the older brother have that is so strong that he decided to let the MC be with mother? Why can’t the MC just become strong enough at some point to defeat him? It sounds like the choice is, run away and be afraid of brother forever or stay and be afraid of brother forever and get his cast offs and allowances… where is the growth into a better man who is not forever in his brother’s shadow?

It seems like this game isn’t going to be enjoyable for vanilla fans, or harem or incest fans. There is a disconnect between the promise of no NTR and the existence of an older brother and a story line that is forcing the MC to abandon love interests and remain under his brother’s thumb because the MC is too weak to do anything about it. Or seemingly to escape his brother but leave his mother to an unknown fate.

I’ve been a writer for the better part of 30 years, I was even a writing teacher for several years. And the biggest principle ever storyteller needs to remember is you control the story, not the other way around… only slightly less important is to remember that you should know your audience if you hope to sale the work. I hope you find your audience, and I wish you the best. But it seems you would like to attract incest, harem, and vanilla fans but your story is set up going in a different direction… best of luck.

I exactly get your point. It totally makes sense & very right. I'm not gonna lie, mc will have to make a choice between mom or sister/Valeria route.
But,
Of course mc will stand up to brother on Valeria route at some point. *which leads your mother to hate you.*
On mom's path you'll be appreciated by your brother. Standing up to him will not be necessary.
Yeah i know, Vanilla fans might be a little disappointed, but i'll try to keep the story interesting as it is. Well, sorry!

 

[michael1984]

Seems the mother figure is pretty stupid as well becoming upset at the mc for standing against his big brother thats a jerk

Makes the mom just as much of a jerk as the older brother

Therefor not even worth going down that road

Thankfully there is a alternate route and go with the women that all hate the older brother

 

[RG 00]

Seems the mother figure is pretty stupid as well becoming upset at the mc for standing against his big brother thats a jerk

Makes the mom just as much of a jerk as the older brother

Therefor not even worth going down that road

Thankfully there is a alternate route and go with the women that all hate the older brother

Yes, that's what he is "a jerk" and he has your mother under his palm.

 

[Before I Forget]

Faceplams are ok! Relax

You can turn it off or lower its volume in settings, it's just a reading assistance. it's better than nothing!

Yeah, I played it with it on until I had enough.

BTW, can you give me a facepalm? I'm feeling left out and society is all about inclusion now, right?

 

[Morho]

I exactly get your point. It totally makes sense & very right. I'm not gonna lie, mc will have to make a choice between mom or sister/Valeria route.
But,
Of course mc will stand up to brother on Valeria route at some point. *which leads your mother to hate you.*
On mom's path you'll be appreciated by your brother. Standing up to him will not be necessary.
Yeah i know, Vanilla fans might be a little disappointed, but i'll try to keep the story interesting as it is. Well, sorry!

already used all my facepalms today so take this

 

[michael1984]

Yeah, I played it with it on until I had enough.

BTW, can you give me a facepalm? I'm feeling left out and society is all about inclusion now, right?

There you go for the inclusion Hope u feel embraced and included now

 

[Before I Forget]

There you go for the inclusion Hope u feel embraced and included now

I love you man.

 

[Chris2041]

I exactly get your point. It totally makes sense & very right. I'm not gonna lie, mc will have to make a choice between mom or sister/Valeria route.
But,
Of course mc will stand up to brother on Valeria route at some point. *which leads your mother to hate you.*
On mom's path you'll be appreciated by your brother. Standing up to him will not be necessary.
Yeah i know, Vanilla fans might be a little disappointed, but i'll try to keep the story interesting as it is. Well, sorry!

If you get his point why you still do the history like that is not that you are forced to write the history whit the first idea the majority of the people that are gonna play this game is for the incest path but if for that we have to stand the bullshit and ntr vibes of the big brother why do you include the big brother in the first place in a vanilla incest game if you arent going for ntr why not a big sister ?

 

[Chimba]

Why not save everyone?
Actually, you can't do that because of your older brother's will.
Your brother does not wish to save little sister & she's your biggest concern.
Even though your older brother doesn't get involved in xxx, but he has a huge role in the story.

lol this sounds like to be with the sister and mother the mc has to be the brother's little bitch, and if the player refuses to be the little bitch, the reward is the brother's sloppy seconds? (the brother ex )

Spoiler

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[Deleted member 4865569]

I think a full harem will not fit the story. It's good for the xxx adventure but not the storyline. Yes, you'll eventually have the option to abandon your mother, maybe not even see her again if you choose Valeria route. That's a just a small sacrifice!

Why not save everyone?
Actually, you can't do that because of your older brother's will.
Your brother does not wish to save little sister & she's your biggest concern.
Even though your older brother doesn't get involved in xxx, but he has a huge role in the story.

'
Yea going to have to pass but hope you find your audience.

It's little gain for both routes, and no big reward.. *cough like a harem where mc save everyone *cough
Leave your mother and sister? You get your bro sloppy seconds in an ex, in result your mother hating you...
Stay with your mother and sister? It seems you're just going to be the bro's bitch, and he will “appreciate you” who already got the mother under his thumb, as you said, so what's the point? Why he's even around then?
Hmm, and I wonder how he pulled that off? Sus.

MC too much of a coward to go against his bro all the way and save everyone?
Welp.

Overall good luck tho.

 

[rikudolazero]

Ok, well! I wish i could do something.
This story is already written cannot be undo.

Spoiler: Perhaps

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If there is a hot mom and there is not NTR, I'm pretty sure a lot of people will be interested and follow the game. Look at True Bond that dev have personal circumstances and had to abandon the game for months but even then people kept following the game just because of the hot milf/stepmom so don't worry in fact harems don't always end up well its best if you can concentrate in a small number of heroines and paths.

 

[rikudolazero]

'
Yea going to have to pass but hope you find your audience.

It's little gain for both routes, and no big reward.. *cough like a harem where mc save everyone *cough
Leave your mother and sister? You get your bro sloppy seconds in an ex, in result your mother hating you...
Stay with your mother and sister? It seems you're just going to be the bro's bitch, and he will “appreciate you” who already got the mother under his thumb, as you said, so what's the point? Why he's even around then?
Hmm, and I wonder how he pulled that off? Sus.

MC too much of a coward to go against his bro all the way and save everyone?
Welp.

Overall good luck tho.

View attachment 2714918

wait are you implying that the mom have been fucking with the older brother? that's a little bit of a turn off but it shouldn't matter as long as you make her yours from now on. If she keeps you as the replacement or second option then that's fucked up.

 

[JoeTheMC84]

wait are you implying that the mom have been fucking with the older brother? that's a little bit of a turn off but it shouldn't matter as long as you make her yours from now on. If she keeps you as the replacement or second option then that's fucked up.

Considering she gets mad about the MC not being the older brother's stepping stool or lacky, it makes me think that even if she hasn't banged him before she certainly cares more about him than the MC. So emotionally, she's his it seems and he'll either give her to MC as a cast-off cause he is banging her now but get done with her, or he "allows" her and the Mc to do stuff as a reward for being a good little boy to older brother... But that's neither here nor there. Dev is doing what he wants and that's fair, he should. But I know it's not for me either way. If this AVN stays free of NTR and the dev makes another game that is a true harem, then I might give that one a whirl.

 

[Sngo]

Mc will have the chance to treat every woman in his path. ***IN HIS PATH!!!!!****
Note that there are 2 routes.

1. Valeria route (if go with Valeria)
2. m/s route (if you go find Jack)

You'll choose whatever route you like!

Example:
Valeria route has : Ginger, Valeria, Female Cop and *2 new charcaters*
m/s route has : mom & Zorna *(new characters)*

Hum, then Its not a game for me, sacrificing one for another just because mc is too much weak and coward to step up to his brother and regarding what you said about the mom seems she is a trash character too then.
Weird project decisions but the game is yours.
Ty anyway for the reply and gl

 

[RG 00]

lol this sounds like to be with the sister and mother the mc has to be the brother's little bitch, and if the player refuses to be the little bitch, the reward is the brother's sloppy seconds? (the brother ex )

Spoiler

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Hehe, I'll say "Cool with Jack" or "Being on the same page".
So... If you refuse to be cool with Jack.
You don't have to prioritize his ex, you can also keep it friendly.
Sis's going to be there anyway. You're the only she trusts, it won't take too long to know more about her.

 

[RG 00]

Hum, then Its not a game for me, sacrificing one for another just because mc is too much weak and coward to step up to his brother and regarding what you said about the mom seems she is a trash character too then.
Weird project decisions but the game is yours.
Ty anyway for the reply and gl

I feel you, but things not always easy as it seems.
MC just want the family to be reunited. He's just too being positive on it.

 

[RG 00]

wait are you implying that the mom have been fucking with the older brother? that's a little bit of a turn off but it shouldn't matter as long as you make her yours from now on. If she keeps you as the replacement or second option then that's fucked up.

E3 will have that answer.
Like i said no ntr! You should trust me on that one.

 

[ThaDude1977]

To the Dev if your just making this VN for shits and giggles and don't care bout the money earned through this then i wouldn't change a thing you do you. But if your in this for making money then you might want to make some changes. For one you need to make a route for Harem where MC gets all the girls and kicks the brother to the curb and become the alpha male and become bigger and stronger. Nobody wants a punk ass weak MC. And leaving a family member behind is not an option. That's just my opinion.

 

[RG 00]

To the Dev if your just making this VN for shits and giggles and don't care bout the money earned through this then i wouldn't change a thing you do you. But if your in this for making money then you might want to make some changes. For one you need to make a route for Harem where MC gets all the girls and kicks the brother to the curb and become the alpha male and become bigger and stronger. Nobody wants a punk ass weak MC. And leaving a family member behind is not an option. That's just my opinion.

That will take some time, i think...

 

[RG 00]

Well, Ok!
I've come to a final decision.
I'll give player opportunity to save the mother from older brother. And have all women on one path.
*Since it's a high demand, i guess i don't have much choice.