1. About the incest mod, don't expect too much logic behind. The marriage has mostly a blocking function, it add the Married tag to the npc which means he/she will be excluded from a range of random npc-npc events and they will say no to your marriage proposal. When you create a relative npc game only set the relationtype with you, none with other relative. Most of the scenes get relative npc connected with player and does not inspect the relation between each other. For example a few scene try call the player 2 parent (how is biologically should be correct) character but set no difference if they are same gender or are steps or what type has with eachother. In npc-npc relation it isn't matter the incest stat, it measures only the willingness to have sex with player, but not with another relative npc. If they sex with each other is likely depend on they perversion and masochist stats, and depending which incest scene's condition allow to trigger. Also these scenes probably require other mods enabled (like 'bull_parent' scene requires the vin_netory enabled, etc). To clarify the npcs has no desire to act towards sex with other char, they has no identity or ai behind them to do such things. All happening depends on triggered scenes only, and they trigger only when they premade conditions met.
Finally IMO its worth setting up the relatives relationships with eachother at least the same level, if you has siblings set them each other to be sibllings, etc. For this purpose I use the Nick'Nos NPC Manager.
2. The living with player count as a filter. Some scenes condition has it to scope the npcs. About the returning the room isn't normal, it is a general bug (the dev messed up something and it doesn't work as intended anymore. Grim made a small fix for that, called 'return room')
3. No. (all happening things is measured with player character, you can only swap roles during sexscene's animation, but not the control)
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