VN Ren'Py Completed Main Seduction [v1.0] [Tremmi]

[sithlordo66]

anyone got a changelog?

 

[KingsRaiden]

Played this initially, tried again and the English is one of the hardest parts for me, since the story is what matters in something like this. I'd give some suggestions, but honestly, its all over the place with grammar and overall story telling which I think doesn't match up to the concept and the attractiveness of the characters.

Places where its weak:

• The Filipino house boy - sorry, but even in these stories NO hotel/spa employee is going to come on like that to a guest. Even if this is meant to show how weak willed Mom is, it could be handled better, the employee is not going to just barge into the room and be forgiven
• The boyfriend entrapment, while its a nice bit, it doesn't really seem to fit with how far the mom's relationship is going or how easily the boyfriend gives up. Plus his rationale for work and his current situation v. future, doesn't really hold up. He's going to be a manager and have a new car, but drives a station wagon? Do they even make those anymore?
• Way too much shower peeping with no consequences (if there is a story idea here it needs to be spelled out)
• Sister is way too flirty after a phone call which gives the tone that she doesn't want the friend to come and perv out, but is ok with the brother doing it
• The Massage girl fuck in public, and before the mom, with no consequences. I like public sex as much as the next guy, but openly in a spa like that? Not going to happen.
• Sometimes its hard to tell who is speaking, some names (mostly Kelly) show up in gray on a dark background, not sure why and it makes it hard to tell who is speaking

I like the idea, and the sister's outfits/modelling show. As well as the nice renders of mom's ass. You put some work into this and its great, and knowing its still early (so I expect things to still be worked out) the overall story framework needs improvement.

 

[OtstrelDebilov]

Most of your notes will be explained in next chapters If you have no full understanding - how could be your thinking objective ? About english I explained some posts ago About Kelly`s color of words - I will change it in a moment, thank you for advice

 

[Carlo S]

@TCMS: Thanks a lot, Dude

 

[trumpthatbitch]

Most of your notes will be explained in next chapters If you have no full understanding - how could be your thinking objective ? About english I explained some posts ago About Kelly`s color of words - I will change it in a moment, thank you for advice

You could always post the script and ask your patreons to help get your game into intelligible English. Saying I don't speak English natively so it is what is sort of garbage response. Find a way. These saps are giving you 500 dollars a month surely you can spend a cpl hundred of that and get the text professionally translated.

 

[KingsRaiden]

About english I explained some posts ago

I didn't understand what a "profi" is, but if this style is your translator you might want to look into getting another one, this one is not very good. I've done spelling corrections in the past, but after the last few I spent time on ended up being unused I don't clean up scripts anymore. If there were a few here and there I'd note them, but overall this needs some cleanup.

I do like the concept and what you have, it needs polishing which is why I am just letting you know.

 

[Burt]

@Tremmi
If someone is willing to proof read for free that's a good thing
I get people to proof read my non native languages at work every day or I would be in big trouble

 

[Tijucas]

Any mega link?

 

[OtstrelDebilov]

You could always post the script and ask your patreons to help get your game into intelligible English. Saying I don't speak English natively so it is what is sort of garbage response. Find a way. These saps are giving you 500 dollars a month surely you can spend a cpl hundred of that and get the text professionally translated.

Glad your thinking about not your money Like your opinion, if you donate 200$ or less to professional translating If you can not - do not give me your advice to spend this money. As I said before I have no salary and it is only supporting of my work on this project. Good for you, if your project is better than mine I have some questions about it, so give me a link on your work and after my mark I try to change my project to your skyhigh opinion
As I did before - constructive critic I pick and do my hobby well, but this view is not positive for me.

 

[muttdoggy]

@Tremmi. If you need help with proofreading, please ask. Several of us can do this for free and have experience. Including me.
Don't be afraid to ask.

 

[dogk22]

Played this initially, tried again and the English is one of the hardest parts for me, since the story is what matters in something like this. I'd give some suggestions, but honestly, its all over the place with grammar and overall story telling which I think doesn't match up to the concept and the attractiveness of the characters.

Places where its weak:

• The Filipino house boy - sorry, but even in these stories NO hotel/spa employee is going to come on like that to a guest. Even if this is meant to show how weak willed Mom is, it could be handled better, the employee is not going to just barge into the room and be forgiven
• The boyfriend entrapment, while its a nice bit, it doesn't really seem to fit with how far the mom's relationship is going or how easily the boyfriend gives up. Plus his rationale for work and his current situation v. future, doesn't really hold up. He's going to be a manager and have a new car, but drives a station wagon? Do they even make those anymore?
• Way too much shower peeping with no consequences (if there is a story idea here it needs to be spelled out)
• Sister is way too flirty after a phone call which gives the tone that she doesn't want the friend to come and perv out, but is ok with the brother doing it
• The Massage girl fuck in public, and before the mom, with no consequences. I like public sex as much as the next guy, but openly in a spa like that? Not going to happen.
• Sometimes its hard to tell who is speaking, some names (mostly Kelly) show up in gray on a dark background, not sure why and it makes it hard to tell who is speaking

I like the idea, and the sister's outfits/modelling show. As well as the nice renders of mom's ass. You put some work into this and its great, and knowing its still early (so I expect things to still be worked out) the overall story framework needs improvement.

I almost died laughing with that Filipino trying to sexualy abuse the customers. Like, WTF is this... It doesn't make any sense.

 

[EverythingButTheGirl]

Pinoy boy is just thirsty for some white meat, cut him some slacks.

 

[Endless]

Does anyone know the console commands (cheats)?
For mom, sis, charm, computer skill etc

 

[Jack-O]

Does anyone know the console commands (cheats)?
For mom, sis, charm, computer skill etc

You must be registered to see the links

(and a little above that post there's a link for save editor)

 

[Bloo]

You must be registered to see the links

(and a little above that post there's a link for save editor)

Added to the OP.

 

[Bloo]

so i checked a few comment in this thread and almost didnt Play this game since a few People said that this game wasnt good and not worth playing.

i still downloaded it and Play it up to the Scene with the sister at the massage place. gotta say. yes the english is pretty bad, but it didnt really bother me. the Story is pretty fun, and some of the MC's thoughts are really funny. i like the Girls and their models. and i got a easy fap in... this is tbh really important since many games have good gameplay/writing/Story/models but fail to make you fap easy to the game. i would probably recommend a mix of getting luck and charm, but as i said i havent finished the game yet, and i havent checked the CG's if i missed any big Scenes.

so i would totally recommend this game. it's a way easier fap than many other games like Ethans legacy, Alter-self, Daughter Saga, Parental Love, Teacher's Pets... to Name a few, and again!!! not saying those games are worse, i would even say most of those games have better Story, models, gameplay and writing, but even though i got a easier fap out of this game,, which mean i enjoyed my time with this game more.

You can write a review at the top if you feel people should know what the game is about. On the star icons.

 

[berny]

I didn't understand what a "profi" is, but if this style is your translator you might want to look into getting another one, this one is not very good. I've done spelling corrections in the past, but after the last few I spent time on ended up being unused I don't clean up scripts anymore. If there were a few here and there I'd note them, but overall this needs some cleanup.

I do like the concept and what you have, it needs polishing which is why I am just letting you know.

I have to agree with KingsRaiden. I don't know if the translator is a personal friend or something, but if someone is doing a bad job, he has to go. Saying "Sorry, but there is nothing I can do" is a very dangerous approach, people might think you don't care (I'm not saying you don't) and after all, you want people to donate.
I can understand that you are hesitant to hire a professional translator with 500$ a month, but I am confident that you can find someone willing to do it for free if you ask around, like @muttdoggy suggested.

Btw. Are you German by any chance? I noticed that you used the word "profi". I could translate the concerns to German if that helps.

 

[Angmir]

Hello

I would like to know about some things about this game before I try.

1) is there a CG rip somewhere
2) Are there actual sex scenes in game yet
3) how old is protagonist - I am a straight shota fan but teenager that acts as teenager is passable too.

 

[rayserker7]

nice

 

[Casper]

Hello
3) how old is protagonist - I am a straight shota fan but teenager that acts as teenager is passable too.

General

7. If the main focus of the game is sexual contact with realistic or semi-realistic character(s) who show no sign of puberty (ie prepubescent) then the game should not be shared. Basically, if it looks like a real kid don't post it. As this involves some discretion, if you are unsure ask a Staff Member.