Unlike that other guy, I’m actually from the future. Here’s what really happens:
- Congress decides to settle the Trump impeachment thing with a high stakes pie eating contest involving all members of both houses, but it degenerates into a massive barf-o-rama when AOC pre-game chugs a bottle of castor oil to get back at Nancy Pelosi.
- Vladimir Putin promotes a bunch of white supremacists into his government and decides to save western civilization by nuking Germany and Western Europe. Trump nukes large portions of Africa and South America in an attempt to get revenge on the white supremacists.
- Despite dangerous levels of vomit and nuclear holocausts, ICSTOR manages to release a Milfy City Halloween special with approximately six minutes of playtime. The October release is, naturally, delayed for this.
- The release is rescheduled for late November, but is postponed to release a Thanksgiving mini-game involving Bob, the gremlin, and a turkey baster.
- Trump, acting on advice from his son Barron, tweets angrily at ICSTOR and, in a phone call with Italy’s new PM Salvini, threatens to put tariffs on Italian exports unless his government investigates the recurring delays in the Milfy City release. Democratic primary candidates respond heatedly, with Warren commenting “Me pay heapum big wampum in Patreon subscription”, Sanders screaming about “fatcats smoking cigars while young twin sisters struggle” as he flails his arms, and Biden making excited groping motions with his hands whenever Sara is mentioned.
- ICSTOR promises a December release as global media begins a concerted campaign against “incestcels” and their online campaign of misogyny and racist terrorism.
- After a series of mass shootings during the holiday season, before which the perpetrators posted anti-ICSTOR manifestos on the online hive of villainy and terrorism known as F95, Patreon pulls the plug on all erotic games, including Milfy City, just days before ICSTOR’s scheduled release. ICSTOR is extradited from Italy and forced to testify in front of a Congressional hearing, while the evil website F95 is seized and shutdown by the Department of Justice and the FBI conducts raids on its most prominent posters.
- Merry Christmas. See you in 2020!