- Jan 20, 2020
- 2,850
- 4,241
"loser" he's not loose (as in not tight)
![Wink ;) ;)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
On the sofa
As a suggestion, I think "yea" should be "yeah"
"I've got.." and "red"
Remove the "for" i.e "Is it really best business to shame your customers?"
Either just "conscience" or "subconcious"
"You weren't..."
I think "nh!" rather than "Ih!" for involuntary noises
asleep
you were
no-one
Unless he's gone mad and rhyming everything. Forever
were
![1677945840146.png 1677945840146.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461264_1677945840146.png)
Yeah my badMinor nit-pick, but it's "Hawaiian" (always capitalized).
On the sofa
![1677946000023.png 1677946000023.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461269_1677946000023.png)
As a suggestion, I think "yea" should be "yeah"
![1677946074215.png 1677946074215.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461273_1677946074215.png)
"I've got.." and "red"
![1677946114226.png 1677946114226.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461277_1677946114226.png)
Remove the "for" i.e "Is it really best business to shame your customers?"
![1677946226745.png 1677946226745.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461280_1677946226745.png)
Either just "conscience" or "subconcious"
![1677946662352.png 1677946662352.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461287_1677946662352.png)
"You weren't..."
![1677946779663.png 1677946779663.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461292_1677946779663.png)
I think "nh!" rather than "Ih!" for involuntary noises
![1677946867279.png 1677946867279.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461298_1677946867279.png)
asleep
![1677946915380.png 1677946915380.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461300_1677946915380.png)
you were
![1677946975064.png 1677946975064.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461345_1677946975064.png)
no-one
![1677947004272.png 1677947004272.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461366_1677947004272.png)
Unless he's gone mad and rhyming everything. Forever
![1677947052944.png 1677947052944.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461374_1677947052944.png)
were
![1677947100823.png 1677947100823.png](https://attachments.f95zone.to/2023/03/thumb/2461377_1677947100823.png)
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