- Aug 16, 2019
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- Thread starter stencilbits
- Start date
- Aug 16, 2019
- 127
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Fake Update: Edging edition:
(Picture of Alice about to eat a Hotdog)
As I said I was going to release the 0.4 version of Offcuts with the Alice Route this week after Thanksgiving, but when I came back home from the trip, someone stole my hard drives and my computer. Unfortunately, I can't go to the police and explain my situation and the importance of those hard drives, because it could lead me into serious legal troubles and my butt is not ready for prison. But it's OK. I have a backup of a backup of a backup safe in Abu Dhabi. All I have to do is send my neigneig's cat to retrieve it. I really hate Mondays.
The rest of the message is the same old same old TLDR copy paste stuff...
-I won't take your money because despite of being irresponsibly lazy, a compulsive liar, and pretty much shady individual, I horribly fear the IRS.
-Steam release is up there in the air with the actual game, since they flip flop on adult stuff and I don't want to be a prison bitch!
-I want to work on videos, but my potato can barely render Alice's left small boob, a video might kill it. If I had your money, I might've been able to buy a semi competent PC. Curse my sliver of integrity and fear of the Taxman.
-once I release 0.4 on the first day of Never, I can explain my dorection on 0.5 and it's potential release in 2040, but since it's me, that's closer to 2099.
(Picture of Alice about to eat a Hotdog)
As I said I was going to release the 0.4 version of Offcuts with the Alice Route this week after Thanksgiving, but when I came back home from the trip, someone stole my hard drives and my computer. Unfortunately, I can't go to the police and explain my situation and the importance of those hard drives, because it could lead me into serious legal troubles and my butt is not ready for prison. But it's OK. I have a backup of a backup of a backup safe in Abu Dhabi. All I have to do is send my neigneig's cat to retrieve it. I really hate Mondays.
The rest of the message is the same old same old TLDR copy paste stuff...
-I won't take your money because despite of being irresponsibly lazy, a compulsive liar, and pretty much shady individual, I horribly fear the IRS.
-Steam release is up there in the air with the actual game, since they flip flop on adult stuff and I don't want to be a prison bitch!
-I want to work on videos, but my potato can barely render Alice's left small boob, a video might kill it. If I had your money, I might've been able to buy a semi competent PC. Curse my sliver of integrity and fear of the Taxman.
-once I release 0.4 on the first day of Never, I can explain my dorection on 0.5 and it's potential release in 2040, but since it's me, that's closer to 2099.
- May 15, 2022
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- Jun 4, 2019
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- Aug 16, 2019
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Day two of the "what will be Stencilbits's excuse for no Offcuts this time?" Week. Will there be a release or will we get another big fat bowl of NOTHING!? Well we got a big fat nothing! Will they three be any better? I don't think so.
Monthly Update - Uplifting Edition
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Another month passes by and the release date inches closer, which means it's time for the good, old monthly update! As mentioned in the previous update, the Offcuts 0.4 release was planned to be around this week (ending on December 3rd) as I tried to work the release around my planned business trip. Things took longer than expected, so I'll have to push the release back at least a week. I have never managed to estimate a release date right before, so it's probably not a big surprise to many. I always try to reserve a good amount of personal time around any releases so I can quickly fix any critical bugs or other issues in a patch release. Still, no reason for despair yet, as I should be able to do another status check Pateron post next week once I'm back.
That's about it for now. Everything else has been pretty much said in the previous updates. Once 0.4 is finally out, there is more room for planning the next step and discussing everything else I have been working on during this long cycle.
As always, I'm not going to take any Patreon payments until 0.4 is out (I'll temporarily suspend my Patreon at the end of each month until then).
The rest of the post is mostly copied from my previous updates for those who are new or want to be reminded of what will be coming next. See you in the next post, thanks for your support and patience!
--
So, TL;DR:
* Next release 0.4 will have Alice's full storyline.
* Some new tech in 0.4: interactive 3D and pre-rendered movies, at least a few of each. When I get the pipeline (and my skills) working smoothly, next releases should have more.
* After 0.4 I will try out a bit faster release schedule with partial updates instead of releasing large, complete routes that take ages to finish. We'll see how it goes.
* Possible Steam release at some point after 0.4 is out. Steam has been pretty random with adult games, so who knows what can happen.
And once again the update has been delayed again, jeeze who could of seen that coming?
Wonder what his excuse will be next year?
Wonder what his excuse will be next year?
- Jun 4, 2019
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January - Dog ate his hard drive
February - Dog died after eating said hard drive
March - Hard drive died after the dog ate it
April - Gremlins invaded his house and destroyed his new hard drive
May - Hunted down the gremlins
June - Fashioned a new hard drive from the remains of the gremlins
July - Arrested by a tipoff from PETA for using animal products
August - Sent to trial for the killing of gremlins
September - Sentenced to 3 minutes in prison. The prison gang stole his hard drive. The resultant fight has meant the sentence is now three weeks.
October - Shanked a guy for looking at him funny in the lunch line and took the eyes of two prison officers, three consecutive life sentences.
November - Broke out of prison and is currently on the run, so the update is delayed.
December - Held up a Santa's grotto and the elves are hostages until his record is expunged and he gets a million dollars and a flight to a non extradition country. The game's release will be next month. Promise!
- May 15, 2022
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I have never managed to estimate a release date right before, so it's probably not a big surprise to many.
Either he wrote this post himself or Chatgpt has evolved far enough to smell this guys bullshit.
Still, no reason for despair yet, as I should be able to do another status check Pateron post next week once I'm back.
No reason? 0.4 will be out in November 2019.....Yep, no reason. Next week will just be another delay post.
Either he wrote this post himself or Chatgpt has evolved far enough to smell this guys bullshit.
Still, no reason for despair yet, as I should be able to do another status check Pateron post next week once I'm back.
No reason? 0.4 will be out in November 2019.....Yep, no reason. Next week will just be another delay post.
- Aug 16, 2019
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Really? Once again, stencilbits does not disappoint... or massively disappoints if you were hoping to stuff Alice with some colesausage.
- May 14, 2020
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"...not a big surprise to many." - The only words I can agree with in his 'update'.
- Mar 27, 2023
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GOD PLEASE
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Stop with the edging! I can't even feel it anymore, I was so close this time, I don't know if I can wait another week. I need it NOW! I am worried because it doesn't hurt anymore I was hoping that it would be more promising this time. I was hoping so hard
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- Jun 4, 2019
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