I was always under the impression that women don't really care much about foreplay if they are turned on already because of the situation and the sex itself is very satisfying for them.
None of the women I've been with have ever been so turned on that they couldn't be bothered with some kissing, groping, fingering, and oral. Sure, sometimes a quickie was the only thing we had time for and all that was needed, but that's always been due to other circumstances, not the sex and arousal.
Also, I always felt that wanting the girl to have orgasms was more the ego wanting to be boosted than anything else really - plus wanting the power that it brings along.
As far as "wanting the girl to have orgasms" being a ego boost or a dominance play, that's only part of it sometimes, but I think most people want their sexual partners to enjoy the sex because we want them to feel good and enjoy it. At some point I felt an ego boost from getting my wife off, but I don't any more. Nor do I accrue any more influence over her at this point, either. I do still like that she feels good, sleeps better, and has a more cheerful mood.
The paradox thing seems to be, that women kinda get turned on more and get off more easily if the guy is not too focused on their pleasure and just enjoys the thing - instead of being ego-boost needy. I always assumed that this is also the reason so many girls like doggy, since it's the 'just-use-me-like-a-fucking-thing'-position. It's a paradox thing to navigate.
It might not be a paradox. Seems more like confidence is just attractive. The key words you mentioned are "
too focused" and "needy". Obviously, those aren't sexy mindsets to bring to the bedroom, but neither is selfish disregard for one's partners' pleasure. People like care and attention, and while the preferred form for that care is individual, unless that partner is a rare hardcore dyed-in-the-wool masochist sub, putting their pleasure at least equal to your own is an important part of that. How much and the reasons why women like doggystyle obviously vary from woman to woman, but my guess is that most of those reasons are more biomechanical than widespread submissive psychology.
Of course selfless giving is awesome and one of the most reliable sources of joy as well, but I don't really like seeing the sexual variant in fiction - especially since it often seems not really selfless at all, but just about the ego and power, which makes it kinda pathetic to me.
Setting aside all the rest of fiction and narrowing down to just Pale Carnations' Edwin, playing a woman's body like an instrument to the point of ahegao and squirting like a geyser probably is about ego and power for him. And your view that it's pathetic is as valid as any other opinion, but some of PC's themes and content are intentionally distasteful, giving Edwin something to anguish over as he discovers the kind of person he is versus the kind he wants to be versus the kind he feels he is supposed to be. Though I doubt we're going to be reading in the next chapter about Edwin's shame and regret over making Hana lose her mind.
