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4.50 star(s) 25 Votes

MrPocketRocket

Pecker PI
Game Developer
Apr 30, 2023
242
1,317
Writing is quite good! It would be nice to have a bit more lewd content at this stage. The few scenes that exist are kind of rushed and feel a bit detached so the hot-meter never reaches very high.

If I could make one note. For it having a film noire/PI theme, it never really feels like the stakes are very high. Even when our MC get into fights, conflicts and the like the mood just stays kinda lighthearted and comedic. You would expect a bit more of a sense of tension in this kind of story. Making those darker elements a bit more serious would give us a break from the comedy that would help us appreciate that comedy more.
Next chapter is planned to have more lewd scenes. I have to go back and work on all the animation (most are not what I would call quality animations and I'm still figuring it out), so I will extend the scenes already there and continue in that fashion (this was something that I had thought about, so I agree).

I can see your point with giving the lighthearted scenes a counter point. There will be scenes (that are not flashbacks) that have higher stakes, but they aren't planned until closer to chapters 9 & 10. However, I don't think it's a bad idea to have a bit of balance, and it will be easier to achieve the deeper into the case we get.

Thank you!

ps Fun fact, I was making traditional animation when I was 9, but can't seem to quite get it right in DAZ many years later.
 

MaxRichard

Member
Oct 7, 2023
387
966
Next chapter is planned to have more lewd scenes. I have to go back and work on all the animation (most are not what I would call quality animations and I'm still figuring it out), so I will extend the scenes already there and continue in that fashion (this was something that I had thought about, so I agree).

I can see your point with giving the lighthearted scenes a counter point. There will be scenes (that are not flashbacks) that have higher stakes, but they aren't planned until closer to chapters 9 & 10. However, I don't think it's a bad idea to have a bit of balance, and it will be easier to achieve the deeper into the case we get.

Thank you!

ps Fun fact, I was making traditional animation when I was 9, but can't seem to quite get it right in DAZ many years later.
It's awesome to see a dev engaged here, just wanted to throw that out there. Thanks for participating

I do agree with LinkBox88's comment. Part of me wonders what the story would look like if by this point Gabrielle had been murdered, Mike had been beaten up by some criminals, MC had gotten shot, etc. I think "noir" sort of implies more crying, more blood and fewer smiles all around. But it's your AVN, so you're the boss.

Incidentally I think this is why the jazz club scene is my favorite so far. There's an extra layer of "mood" there that is not as present in the rest of the story and other settings.

Looking forward to see how the story unfolds and stakes get higher. Thanks for the great title!
 

MrPocketRocket

Pecker PI
Game Developer
Apr 30, 2023
242
1,317
It's awesome to see a dev engaged here, just wanted to throw that out there. Thanks for participating

I do agree with LinkBox88's comment. Part of me wonders what the story would look like if by this point Gabrielle had been murdered, Mike had been beaten up by some criminals, MC had gotten shot, etc. I think "noir" sort of implies more crying, more blood and fewer smiles all around. But it's your AVN, so you're the boss.

Incidentally I think this is why the jazz club scene is my favorite so far. There's an extra layer of "mood" there that is not as present in the rest of the story and other settings.

Looking forward to see how the story unfolds and stakes get higher. Thanks for the great title!
Well, I think now that we have shaken some of the initial comments that were not particularly productive, I love to engage with those who genuinely like the project. I will always listen to good ideas/comments (and most are things that I have considered or had a sense that I should fix) ...I may disagree in some regards and I think that's just par for the course. Obviously it is not a true noir, it was never my intention to make it that as it would be a whole lot darker both in story and in look. I like the slightly goofy world that I'm creating...it's my natural inclination:)

I'm not going to divulge any story points, but you came awfully close with one or two of your suggestions. Will I ever kill Gabrielle? Not a chance! But next chapter will at least introduce guns (they won't be fired yet), which will make some of the interactions more tense and harder to get out of for the MC...who happens to be a terrible shot despite having been to war (the irony!:).

I appreciate your positivity!
 

Bruce F. Lee

Member
Mar 16, 2021
414
800
Well, I think now that we have shaken some of the initial comments that were not particularly productive, I love to engage with those who genuinely like the project. I will always listen to good ideas/comments (and most are things that I have considered or had a sense that I should fix) ...I may disagree in some regards and I think that's just par for the course. Obviously it is not a true noir, it was never my intention to make it that as it would be a whole lot darker both in story and in look. I like the slightly goofy world that I'm creating...it's my natural inclination:)

I'm not going to divulge any story points, but you came awfully close with one or two of your suggestions. Will I ever kill Gabrielle? Not a chance! But next chapter will at least introduce guns (they won't be fired yet), which will make some of the interactions more tense and harder to get out of for the MC...who happens to be a terrible shot despite having been to war (the irony!:).

I appreciate your positivity!
Regarding the genre, I just left a positive review where I call it a mashup. I think it's a clever approach that allows you to avoid some of the hardboiled noir cliches and take advantage of the varying qualities of different time periods. The writing and storyline are both very strong. The MC may not have faced a significant threat yet, but given who he is messing with, it seems certain to be coming soon.

I love your use of facial expressions! One of my biggest pet peeves with visual novels is when developers fail to take advantage of the medium. Don't tell me what a love interest is thinking; show me. Nothing makes me delete a VN faster than walls of explanatory text.

I have one suggestion for improvement that you've already acknowledged, which is the quality of the lewd scenes so far (or fappability). I think the animation quality is part of it, but I don't think it's the only part. Lewd scenes are an area where some descriptive text can help set and maintain the mood. The buildup to the scene and it's length are also important factors. The scene can be a quickie, but the scene shouldn't be too quick. You can slow down the time during the initial moments to build some tension--linger on an initial look, the reaction to it, etc.--before going all in.

Those are just my two cents. Overall I enjoyed it immensely and I'm definitely looking forward to more.
 

MrPocketRocket

Pecker PI
Game Developer
Apr 30, 2023
242
1,317
Regarding the genre, I just left a positive review where I call it a mashup. I think it's a clever approach that allows you to avoid some of the hardboiled noir cliches and take advantage of the varying qualities of different time periods. The writing and storyline are both very strong. The MC may not have faced a significant threat yet, but given who he is messing with, it seems certain to be coming soon.

I love your use of facial expressions! One of my biggest pet peeves with visual novels is when developers fail to take advantage of the medium. Don't tell me what a love interest is thinking; show me. Nothing makes me delete a VN faster than walls of explanatory text.

I have one suggestion for improvement that you've already acknowledged, which is the quality of the lewd scenes so far (or fappability). I think the animation quality is part of it, but I don't think it's the only part. Lewd scenes are an area where some descriptive text can help set and maintain the mood. The buildup to the scene and it's length are also important factors. The scene can be a quickie, but the scene shouldn't be too quick. You can slow down the time during the initial moments to build some tension--linger on an initial look, the reaction to it, etc.--before going all in.

Those are just my two cents. Overall I enjoyed it immensely and I'm definitely looking forward to more.
Thank you for the positive review first of all. It matters. As far as the mashup, it is as you mentioned, intentional. To be true to the time frame, I would have to use derogatory language for every character that isn't a white male and that doesn't feel like a universe in which I like to operate (being a white male myself). Plus the LIs would be frightfully homogenous by race and character.

I agree with the lewd scenes entirely. I need to stretch them out (no pun intended, or maybe?). There will also be more of it as we go (obviously:), but with the real romantic LIs it needs to take some time. The main LIs will be there for however many episodes I decide to make Pecker PI, so a little slow burn is good, I think. Next episode will have some pretty serious relationship build with Gabrielle, and a lead in to scenes with Danielle along with a couple of scenes with Det. Turis & Josephine.

I'm happy you enjoyed it!
 

Darkdevil66

Magnificent Bastard
Donor
Apr 16, 2020
1,692
41,322
ch5s3ap.png




108 renders into chapter 5, a few more to go in scene 3. So not terrible progress. I counted the weeks until Christmas and I'm still hopeful for a release then, but you know how I am with plans. I'll keep trucking along and we'll see if I can make the dream a reality:)

I had someone reach out to help me with the code and I think that is great. I'll still do the heavy lifting when it comes to the chapter coding, but a few things that was on the list are now actively being worked on. The main menu just needs a sound effect and it is done, the gallery is being coded, and I've looked into the animation coding which should fix the broken music tracks. My to-do list somehow got larger, but it is more focused on maybe the correct items first. The map is still in progress, I would say probably 3/4 done...it's just a bit mind numbing work, so the last quarter is taking a bit. The idea being that you'll be able to hover over the different neighborhoods and see who or maybe what is there (haven't made up my mind on that). But with some coding help, I think it can be achieved fairly easily. The text box opacity will now also be able to be adjusted from the preference menu.

A lifetime ago, I promised a special render for milestone subscription numbers. Here we are, just crossing 25. I actually think the majority of the then 10 subscribers are still here, which I find heartwarming and inspiring. So, I will post a poll right away so you can vote on who gets to bare it all this time. Last time it was Amy, but I have a feeling that she won't win it all this time.

Cheers !
 

jufot

Well-Known Member
May 15, 2021
1,562
3,519
Finally managed to find some time to play this latest chapter. What a delight! I love all of your character interactions, MrPocketRocket, but this time around Grace from the city hall was the loveliest surprise. I hope we'll see more of her.

Though I do question your commitment to realism sometimes. Take Bogey, for example. He hardly seems the Casablanca connoisseur, does he? :cool:
1728915864925.png
 

MrPocketRocket

Pecker PI
Game Developer
Apr 30, 2023
242
1,317
Finally managed to find some time to play this latest chapter. What a delight! I love all of your character interactions, MrPocketRocket, but this time around Grace from the city hall was the loveliest surprise. I hope we'll see more of her.

Though I do question your commitment to realism sometimes. Take Bogey, for example. He hardly seems the Casablanca connoisseur, does he? :cool:
View attachment 4131638
Thank you jufot! To defend my questionable commitment to reality...which is sometimes questionable both here and in real life, I would say that at that time period some knowledge in the contemporary classic would be a given. Bogart was after all a huge star. Now would Pecker be able to quote it, that might be the bigger question? Happy you enjoyed it!
 

Darkdevil66

Magnificent Bastard
Donor
Apr 16, 2020
1,692
41,322
ch5s4av.png

Case Log #5 Ch5

This week saw me working on a few different things. Some wanted posters, some coding, some writing and some rendering. I think I landed on about 160 total renders. Scene 4 takes us back to precinct 5 and a chat with Detective Turis and Officer Johnson. And before anyone remarks on her name tag, I'm aware and have fixed it in theory, but I think I'll have to reload the shirt on her because this is after I fixed the texture. Sort of a quiet week with the exception of the Gabrielle renders.

Cheers !
 

Darkdevil66

Magnificent Bastard
Donor
Apr 16, 2020
1,692
41,322
presinct 5.jpg

Case Log #6 Ch5

So the poll was incredibly helpful in illustrating that nothing is just a simple choice. Pubic hair didn't win by a hair and shaven didn't slide into first. So a dead heat. I'm usually not particularly concerned with pleasing everyone, but I think I will add some well groomed hair to some of the girls (let's say half) as a compromise.

This week I nearly hit the 1/5 mark on renders: 190 (or at least that is the current plan of approx. 1000 renders per chapter). Scene 5 takes Pecker back to precinct 5 to get a little moral support. I may have spent a little too much time fixing the textures on Johnson's uniform. I fixed the name tag, but didn't realize the shoulder patch said New York. Fixed that, but didn't realize the badge also said New York. Fixed that. Looked at the "22" that references the precinct, fixed that. Done:)
This week I aim to finish some wanted posters up along with scene 5.

Cheers!
 

Darkdevil66

Magnificent Bastard
Donor
Apr 16, 2020
1,692
41,322
ch5s5aa.png

Case Log #7 Ch5

Got started with scene 5 today. Don't know exactly how many renders. My goal was 100 for the weekend, but didn't hit that mark. Probably got to about 260 total. I booked a RL project that will take me away from the computer more or less entirely for 3 weeks, starting tomorrow, so I'm going to pause subscription charges as soon as I finish writing this. I think it's fair, you are supporting the development of Pecker PI, not the stand still:) I'm going to hate to write this part, but there is no way I'll make the Christmas deadline. It was probably questionable regardless, but 3 weeks down isn't going to help. I will, however, post on sundays just not with images.

Cheers !
 

HornyyPussy

Message Maven
Apr 26, 2020
15,399
35,950
View attachment 4198225

Case Log #7 Ch5

Got started with scene 5 today. Don't know exactly how many renders. My goal was 100 for the weekend, but didn't hit that mark. Probably got to about 260 total. I booked a RL project that will take me away from the computer more or less entirely for 3 weeks, starting tomorrow, so I'm going to pause subscription charges as soon as I finish writing this. I think it's fair, you are supporting the development of Pecker PI, not the stand still:) I'm going to hate to write this part, but there is no way I'll make the Christmas deadline. It was probably questionable regardless, but 3 weeks down isn't going to help. I will, however, post on sundays just not with images.

Cheers !
Jesus H Fucking Christ, those LEGS!!!!! :love: :love: :love: :love:
 
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Bruce F. Lee

Member
Mar 16, 2021
414
800
View attachment 4172862

Case Log #6 Ch5

So the poll was incredibly helpful in illustrating that nothing is just a simple choice. Pubic hair didn't win by a hair and shaven didn't slide into first. So a dead heat. I'm usually not particularly concerned with pleasing everyone, but I think I will add some well groomed hair to some of the girls (let's say half) as a compromise.

This week I nearly hit the 1/5 mark on renders: 190 (or at least that is the current plan of approx. 1000 renders per chapter). Scene 5 takes Pecker back to precinct 5 to get a little moral support. I may have spent a little too much time fixing the textures on Johnson's uniform. I fixed the name tag, but didn't realize the shoulder patch said New York. Fixed that, but didn't realize the badge also said New York. Fixed that. Looked at the "22" that references the precinct, fixed that. Done:)
This week I aim to finish some wanted posters up along with scene 5.

Cheers!
Compromise on the hair issue is a great idea. Perhaps you will make at least one girl have an untrimmed bush? I'm a big fan of VNs that offer variety in terms of appearance, breast size, pubic hair, etc., though I understand you can't please everyone.
 
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DevinHesi

Engaged Member
Uploader
Oct 29, 2021
3,556
29,077


1731286590955.png

My RL project has been as I suspected, a time sink. But I'm doing some cross promotions with a couple of other devs and the image above is for New Antioch. It's part of a noir book cover that will be in the next chapter of TheRedMyst's next chapter of the game. So I used an hour of my evening to make sure he got what he needs for the scene while he is doing his renders. I may be putting too much pressure on myself to accomplish everything I want Pecker PI to be for the audience and in a timely manner. I will keep the idea of that moving forward, but I might lighten up a bit on the demands on myself so that I can create the AVN I want to make. What that means for my patrons is simple, I'm not going to chase the deadline at the expense of the story. What it doesn't mean is that I will take advantage with slow production, just doing things at a pace that benefits the AVN. I really like the 3 month per chapter idea, I just don't think I can manage that with RL rearing its ugly head. I still think it's a good goal, but I will probably veer toward being true to my "vision" and not be too concerned about time. If I can. It's hard to balance because I want to deliver, and it affects the potential success of the AVN. Oh, what the fuck do I know?

See you next week for another rant;-)
 

MagicMan753

Active Member
Nov 19, 2021
662
991
Really solid game. I love Gabrielle the most. I know she will have a big presence next chapter, which I am super excited for, I just hope she doesn't disappear again after this chapter. Cause it felt like after the party, she wasn't there at like all, so even if she isn't the focus of a particular chapter, I just want her to show up a little and do some things and mainly not disappear from the game like it felt like last time.
 

DevinHesi

Engaged Member
Uploader
Oct 29, 2021
3,556
29,077


Not even going to use the "Case Log" as a title and it feels weird to post just text. The RL project is on it's last week, so I should be up and rendering shortly after that. This might be the most uninspired post of all time. I think I'll leave it at that.

Cheers!
 

DevinHesi

Engaged Member
Uploader
Oct 29, 2021
3,556
29,077


So RL job completed, and I have begun to render again. The billing pause will be broken on december 3rd I think, and I will keep it that way. I have a few days open to render, so next update will be a proper case log with a render from the current scene and I'll make it something special to make up for the little break in the action.

Cheers!
 
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4.50 star(s) 25 Votes