I have some issues:
1. Our honeymooners are boring to follow. All the dialogue between them is sexual innuendo, which would be fine if this was a normal bang-the-babes-simulator, which it clearly isn't.
I know nothing about these people to begin with, I couldn't describe either of their personalities without it sounding generic. Usually the characters in these games are set up this way so that the player's varied choices can have satisfying result without making the MC too inconsistent.
During their parts I was also constantly on alert for signs of rape, corruption or cheating since that seemed to be the general vibe here, Misha and Samara scenes in particular. A lot of this is simply the baggage that is what we have come to expect from these NSFW VNs but that should be taken into account when making these games. Which leads me into...
2. Where all this is going was made very unclear, and when it comes to fetishes the importance of clarity rapidly increases proportionally to how much investment is expected on the part of the players.
When we're spanking the monkey we can simply skip or opt out of our turn-offs, but now you want us to care about characters, to be personally and emotionally invested in them, you want us to judge them and like them.
We can tolerate each other's kinks here in the interest of politeness, but in reality the difference in kinks represent an irreconcilable difference in fundamental philosophy and values; what this means is that by a character engaging in a certain kink you've just made that character completely unrelatable to many.
Considering how wild and varied the shape of kinks, tags won't be enough, which leads me to...
3. The incredible lack of choices. I get that this is more a novel than a game, but adding small dialogue choices would not only give you a chance to foreshadow where the story might go, but also allow the player to exert some control over what kind of person the MC is, but here we have virtually no options but a standard blank slate MC. The end result is that the player feels like a passenger to a catatonic driver. The MC is commonly written like an avatar for the player in these games, hence the POV and features like renaming the MC, but in this game not only did the player not have any control, but it didn't seem like the MC himself had any more agency himself.
In the end, it's harder to care if you can't make choices and the protagonist makes choices you don't agree with.
Options could have been aesthetic, serving to demonstrate personality or sense of humor rather than being integral to the plot or game-changing in any way.
4. Too much wood, too little fire. I don't mind slow-burns, but smaller arcs and dilemmas to resolve while you build up your story helps keep the player invested when the main plot is still just a seedling whose biggest mystery is what will sprout from it.
It als feels like this game takes place during the wrong time in the MCs life, as what has happened so far could be whittled down to one or two paragraphs in the opening title of the mystery game to follow or in the first part of the third act of a bittersweet romance game. Segway to...
5. Who are all these people? The game starts right away with several characters dealing with either drastic changes in their lives or identity crises, which would be great if we had any sense of what foundations are being rocked or what kinds of wounds or scars have been torn up, an acceptable way to deal with this is having characters interact with each other and letting their dynamics and changes therein reflect what's going on in their heads.
So far I only like Hannah, which says a lot since I generally despise slutty or decadent characters, but since she is the only character whose situation I can understand, she is the only one I have the slightest empathy for.
About the characters:
Hannah feels, and more terrifyingly, is unloved by everyone, including the ones who love her. Her persona is entirely built on rebellion, and while it is a very unrealistic expression of rebellion for her character, I can at least empathize with what she feels and why.
The Newlyweds have, as mentioned above, no personality beyond sexual innuendo and sub-par banter, and no visible conflict to face. All their problems can be resolved by moving honeymoon, but that will resolve itself naturally since their only problem is an ominous atmosphere mainly visible to only the player, and a very creepy hotel owner who has taken an equally creepy and inexplicable interest in the newlyweds. The one personality trait we have seen from the newlyweds is that they are a normal monogamous couple with, relative to porn, vanilla tastes. One would expect them to politely decline Misha's invitations based on his many red flags, but oh well, we don't care much about them anyway since their relevance to the plot is just as dubious as everyone else's.
Alex, Alex, Alex. Are you a lamb or a lioness? Does it matter? So far her brother who she loves has left her and she's not dealing well, like, at all with it. But that might just be an excuse to set her on a corruption path thinly veiled as 'discovering her sexuality', since I have no idea what she was like before this change. She gives me the distinct impression of a patsy, someone who goes along with anything. Weak-willed and no foundational values, does not a likeable person make, which further underscores the importance of showing what she was like before the MC left.
Sandra is lonely, fair enough we've all been there, but I think her screentime could have been better utilized to show the issues affecting her kids, allowing their arcs to establish themselves and develop. At some point there the fires will be too numerous and you just decide to let it all burn.
Big Sister, I don't really know or care.
Blake, don't like him, I suspect I will like him less in the future. I also suspect that the MC will be far more forgiving than I would be after Blake's inevitable redeeming moment.
You'll notice that my complaints are singular in focus, that's because this is a beautiful game. I have no doubts that this dev is highly competent and talented and I'm keeping an eye on this game for the next years.
I hope my critique comes across as constructive as intended, I'm obviously no writer myself.
