VN Ren'Py Abandoned Project SAGE [Act 1 v0.19d] [Paperwork]

[StacyKiss]

Wow... Unexpectedly, but I really liked this game. I played only once, so I can not say exactly how much the choice affects the consequences, but:
-there is really a lot of content for the first release;
-In my opinion the corruption fast enough, but it looks interesting;
-the arts not perfect, but good enough;
.-Minimum of uninteresting texts - there's always something happening, events are quite unique;
-No Grind.

I can't wait next updates, you are doing good job.

 

[Joe Steel]

There is, as has been pointed out, a lot of content for a 0.1 release, so good for that.

On the other hand, it isn't necessarily GOOD content. A lot of it looks and sounds like it was done by a horny fifteen-year-old, what with the monster tits on Twiggy and the penises that look like snakes. "I love to fuck your numb ass" is a line that was never spoken by any successful horndog ever.

It's all just too awkward, stilted, bizarre, and ugly for me. The idea is fine, but the execution doesn't come across well at all (at least in English - translations are hard to pull off).

 

[BigWamanHunter]

I enjoyed this game...... Lotsa content fr version 0.1.....lotsa faps.... But i think u should redo the mc in future updates..... Make her a bit realistic n more womanly....... Maybe wider hips, more flesh in the rear n realistic boobs.......looking forward to future updates


P. S..... The mc reminds me of pornstar nessa devil

 

[voyeurkind]

The MC will have a boyfriend (He's a bastard).

This tells me now that I am not your target audience. It was a decent start, but I think you've lost me.

 

[KyoriKusagami]

Paperwork, why don't make the MC a single character? So many games with female characters use the same cliché (Elena, Life, Anna Exciting Affection, Road trip, Lily of the valley and others), they(female) saying that love your boyfriend, fiance or husband to cheating on him because they(boyfriend, fiance or husband) don't have a big penis. There a great game under development where the female character is single named Humbling Experience and she doesn't need to cheat on anyone and it have great sex scenes based on her adventure. Maybe the difference is good sometimes.

 

[KyoriKusagami]

This tells me now that I am not your target audience. It was a decent start, but I think you've lost me.

Me too, i think it will be same cheating story and not a romance that i normally search

 

[iodio]

Hi!

In the vein of constructive criticism:
- mind the clipping! Often the dresses bulge into bodies, e.g. during the videogame session with the two brothers, the skirt is constantly going inside the thighs;
- mind the lights! Often the lighting of the scene is somewhat off balance
- mind the pacing! Lot of (sexual) things are going on at the second day, perhaps too many, they're just thrown at the player, maybe a better building up could be more rewarding
- in some scenes the position of the different characters on the screen seems awkward (different distances...)

And as it has already been said:
- if you let the player choose the name, mind that all the variables are properly set (when the mc thinks, the name "Amy" appears)
- inconsistencies with the dress - at least after the shower, she chooses a dress and in the next rendering she wears another one

 

[Gomly1980]

Female Protagonist

Okay, I don't mind a female lead, some of them are pretty decent when done well.

Romance

Oh, sweet, a decent story instead of one of those generic, done to death, boring blac......

Blackmail, Corruption, Cheating,

Nevermind.

 

[Quaszog55]

A lot of content for a 0.1 release. I enjoyed it far to long.

I approve of the fact, that this games does not have a grinding system like most Slut simulators these days and that i can virtually skip most content i didn't like. That said, of course i took the longest route, more H route.

Also kudos for the character NOT being hopelessly naive and borderline submissive from the start. This way i can aim for an open, exhibitionist but still dignified (win some, lose some) character.
All Slut simulators so far make it impossible to play a dominant and self-confident female Man-hunter, i hope there will be an option for MC not to be a toilet and punching bag all the time and instead turn her into a corruptor and game hunter herself. I missed any FF options so far so feel free to include them later.

There was a lot of action going on, this girl stripped for half a dozen guys at day one, handed out blowjobs, danced naked for a full dozen at day two and got her anal virginity cured by half a dozen and handed out the same amount of blowjobs. Well at least someone at her pussy (yay). Scenes were all VERY GOOD but i just realized it all happened in 'two days'.

I felt empowered and shamed alike, by the speed of events. If that was your goal, you nailed it pretty extreme.

Will this game go into sandbox mode after week one? or remain a VN?

 

[paperwork]

Again thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I'm grateful for it.

I'm not a native English speaker, so, sometimes conversations may get weird. I hope I'll do better in the future. But I would like to keep horny 15 year old feel. Maybe my second game will be different....

I've been considering your points in the later scenes I've been doing, Iodio. Everything you've said is true. Lights are still a challenge for me

Quaszog55, empowered and ashamed was my aim, yes. I'm glad you felt that way. The MC will do some naive stuff along the way but she'll now that she's doing it because she likes it or is curious about it.

The game will go sandbox, but I've been planning the same kind of horny 15 years old stuff for every activity. Of course there will be choices about them.

Lastly, it's great to get mixed comments. Some get me thinking in a different light. Great community!

 

[Joe Steel]

Paperwork, Write the game you need to write; if you muse isn't intrigued by your work, there won't be a game to discuss. I did like your sexy scenes and thought they were pretty well done (except maybe the anal sex scene - anal sex needs a lot more preparation than you show, but it's a fantasy so no biggie). I'm not a fan of the art you are using and so won't be a customer, but I wish you all the best.

 

[MrCrow]

Great start ! Thanks for the game

 

[taboo22]

Great start man, keep up the good work.

 

[macadam]

i must say that i agree with some peoples here.
having another game where we play female who have a boyfriend and cheat him is very "cliché" or whatever you use in engish for that.
having an female MC who is alone, without boyfriend, will open new opportunity and new concept. making the game different than what we actually already have seen lots of times.

also, allow me to give you my honest opinion about that. i not like the idea of cheating a boyfriend, even if the boyfriend is an idiots. for multiples reasons :
1 - its very déja vu in games ( like mentionned before )
2 - its very cliché in movies ( drama things styles on movies )
3 - if a women didnt like her boyfriend, she didnt hésitate a second to let it down for good. my own experience, woman who didnt like the boy they are with have no shame or fear to kick that dude out of their life and stay alone ( more realism in the game if you add this situation )

i can also add the long story about love between NTR and peoples.. but i will not starting again this war.

in simple, game is good, a good start. but i think it will be good to avoid making the girl a whore for everybody and a cold for her own bf, or at least, make her broke with him and let her enjoy an crazy life alone with freedom of sex and stuff.

just my own opinion

 

[DarkMask]

Good start so far, don't get dismayed by some of the things people are saying. Just create whatever game you want, you're the one making it, not them.

 

[KyoriKusagami]

@DarkMask, i know this game belongs to Dev, i just gave tips to him because theres is so many stories with female characters where she has someone who supposedly love but cheats on him because he doesn't have big penis and breaking all romance. But it's just a tip nothing more.

 

[DarkMask]

The MC in this game is single though and not in a relationship. I'm not sure if that happens later on in the game but for now, you're a young single girl getting her freak on.

 

[KyoriKusagami]

I understood, it will be great if the player can choose to get a boyfriend or not. thanks for the answer @DarkMask

 

[macadam]

The MC in this game is single though and not in a relationship. I'm not sure if that happens later on in the game but for now, you're a young single girl getting her freak on.

Dev clearly mentionned that MC will have a boyfriend later. ( also that he will be a jerk or seomthing )

 

[PixelEgo]

Love this game!