Creiz is telling you the truth. I've friends who were forced by certain 'bigger men' and the experience was about as fun as having your eyes removed with a spoon.
Enjoy your fantasies (I do as well) but separate it from reality please - by far. The world already has enough whack jobs in it. They end up a mental mess because they think its real. We don't need more. No not all women like bigger sizes (hello). If the person doesn't have the right ability, it's fucking unpleasant. Have dropped several bigger guys because I just got sick of the stepping around glass with it. I am a person, not a sack of potatoes or a punch bag. Average+ is quite fine. I'm more concerned about a man's personality. Cliche? Not so much. Real life has more to it. As you know. Enough said.
Yes, it does blow my mind that porn stars, at least when asked candidly about their preference, tend to prefer 'average' size, even though on camera they look like they love the massive sizes.
There seems to be a zero-sum situation when it comes to huge sizes though. Huge dicks don't always mean the men are assholes. Small dick men aren't necessarily incompetent in bed. Rather, someone with a smaller size, from what I've heard, tend to try harder to please their women, thus making them successful.
While it is true that most sizes will do the trick, there is also a reason why some women prefer a bigger size. I'm not sure if it's because they didn't run into a smaller dick man who was good in bed, or if it's something in their mind that wants them to have a big dick. At the same time, there are women who don't like huge sizes because it actually hurts them rather than pleases them. (You've talked about this specifically in your post)
In short, dick sizes are not the end-all for sex, unless someone's penis is like 1-2 inches. But if such a man compensates with being good in bed in other ways, it could very well offset the size 'disadvantage'