Ayhsel

Chocolate Vampire
Donor
May 9, 2019
4,870
16,015
It's not that bad, besides the police stuff, I've seen worse writing on other avns.

Problem is the schedule that makes looks like the pace is slow. When is not.
I personally don't think it's that bad but the the thing with the cop and the mom of the kid that was killed should've been added later on in the story.
It is absolutely terrible. Let me just mention some ridiculous crap that I remember out of the top of my head.

1) MC just got 3 new daughters that lost their mom to cancer and decided to go have some free time on dates
2) Which happens to have a waiter than just want to fuck right there!
3) The cop being the most pathetic cliche douchebag and the wife that out of nowhere wants to fuck MC (to be honest this is pretty standard but the level of which it happened is just pure bla)
4) Virgin mother with an adopted that was too busy to date but not to decide to adopt a kid. Seriously.. a virgin mother that had little time for dating but adopts a kid... not a joke here.. that is the character.
5) mother of the child you killed asks for a massage? really?
6) Triplets going from depressed to super horny with daddy.

Let's be honest here. These novel has absolutely nothing going for it BUT the triplets. They were what sell. And the first chapter the premise was a father reconciling with his daughter that are going over a tough moment. It had a good premise and there was potential for a good novel happening there with the triplets that really were among the cutest characters you can find.

And instead of developing the characters in a profound and serious way given the premise on the first chapter, they are turn into fricking cartoon characters: blonde is borderline retarded, redhead jumps to daddy i love you so much in day zero. Brunette I guess its a little better.


Ohhhhh Ayhs...you're like Ava...just a super cute pussycat pretending to be a tiger. We know better *pats your head*
hahah well it's true both of us are very cute. But let's be honest here. I am no even remotely as scary as Ava. Not for lack of trying, it's just that girl can really crush your balls, tits or whatever organ you have.
 

ThorinKing

Engaged Member
Feb 16, 2023
2,249
5,868
C'mon man he is finally working on the game let's try to be a little bit positive.
He's already blown through any good faith acceptance that may have once existed. If he meets the deadline he set, then he'll get a little good will, but it will only last until the next deadline and any communication surrounding it if missed/pushed, etc.
 

Dogorti

Well-Known Member
Jan 23, 2021
1,889
7,001
It is absolutely terrible. Let me just mention some ridiculous crap that I remember out of the top of my head.

1) MC just got 3 new daughters that lost their mom to cancer and decided to go have some free time on dates
2) Which happens to have a waiter than just want to fuck right there!
3) The cop being the most pathetic cliche douchebag and the wife that out of nowhere wants to fuck MC (to be honest this is pretty standard but the level of which it happened is just pure bla)
4) Virgin mother with an adopted that was too busy to date but not to decide to adopt a kid. Seriously.. a virgin mother that had little time for dating but adopts a kid... not a joke here.. that is the character.
5) mother of the child you killed asks for a massage? really?
6) Triplets going from depressed to super horny with daddy.

Let's be honest here. These novel has absolutely nothing going for it BUT the triplets. They were what sell. And the first chapter the premise was a father reconciling with his daughter that are going over a tough moment. It had a good premise and there was potential for a good novel happening there with the triplets that really were among the cutest characters you can find.

And instead of developing the characters in a profound and serious way given the premise on the first chapter, they are turn into fricking cartoon characters: blonde is borderline retarded, redhead jumps to daddy i love you so much in day zero. Brunette I guess its a little better.




hahah well it's true both of us are very cute. But let's be honest here. I am no even remotely as scary as Ava. Not for lack of trying, it's just that girl can really crush your balls, tits or whatever organ you have.
Just you average harem writing man, i think you know it could be worse. And besides i think that first chapter is kinda overrated, feels like a soap opera by times. The whole avn would be a lot boring if it was like that first chapter.

And yeah the worst thing on your list is that stuff about the virgin mom, is kinda cringe but writter has a fetish with virgins... is what it is...

On the 6 point i'm not gonna say much bcs i've been depressed and kinda horny. Sometimes you need that dopamine. :p
 
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_Immortal_

Newbie
Aug 27, 2018
48
34
abandoned? come on, the last time I played this I got blue balled, now this? I won't be playing incomplete games from now on.
 
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micmitja

Forum Fanatic
Aug 6, 2017
5,689
5,988

adanu

Member
Mar 28, 2020
127
223
att least this dev is more open about whats going on compared to starship inanna
Oh, they're pretty open about giving more of a fuck about their tabletop game system and 'art streams' than actually continuing their VN. If that's what the majority of their customers want, that's fine, but I came for the VN.

I once a month go back to check if they've gotten their heads out of their asses, but so far, nothing. I'm just hoping this dev doesn't get sidetracked.
 
4.30 star(s) 271 Votes