- Aug 21, 2018
- 2,181
- 3,568
Still a bugged mess at the start. Half the time, there is the name missing when someone talks.
Oh yeah and dont give us a "choice" to help Christine or not, when the other one just ends the game with some Russian text.
And I dont get it .. why that intro with some Tanya (she is never mentioned later on (version: Ep2)) and then we get that Christina/e with no context ... the game really lacks transitions. And then way later we get the introduction to Anna ... if I remember correctly I mentioned that already with the first release ...
Then the "interactive" stuff - drop that. There is no point for some "find the clickable part in the image" crap when there is only 1 point to click on.
Another thing is the mix-up of names, it is confusing as fuck.
I guess Andrey and Andrew are the same person? Same with Christina/Christine and Anna/Anya?
The engrish is still another major problem ... yeah you are Russian and they dont teach English at school (I assume, because of the bad English skills I witness on this site ^^) - but then try to find a proofreader to help. I am not a native speaker myself and make a bunch of mistakes - but I dont try to tell a story ppl want to follow - or ask for donations bc I post long texts like this ^^
and why you even have a MC when you only see other characters have fun?
I dont mind NTR or stuff that is leaning in that direction, but I hate the shift in perspective. It is more like a "multiple protagonist" game, but only 1 of them gets some choices.
The introduction and the setup of the plot is so unstructured and convoluted. The game needs to be revamped already. You dont need other or new renders, you just have to rearrange the content and better introduce the characters and premise. And stick to 1(!) name per character.
Good example is the "call parents" - so you move to you uncle (I guess?) and only when you are there you write to your mom? Then you tell you uncle that your dad is a police officer? - worst piece of exposition ever. That is all pointless information, and stuff the characters already should know - and if it might be important in the future for the player, that you mum is a principal and your dad an officer, than tell it later or earlier in some kind of introduction at the start.
"You are XX and you mother is the principal of the local school, your father is a police officer and .... " - not the best way ... but yeah .. probably better that this.
I think the dev dont have at least a general plan for the story - so he/she wings it on the fly and that is a mistake.
Why mention that Tanya when she is not important? If she is not important you can just say "what's with your girlfriend? Any progress?" - "No, nothing yet ... bla bla". In general dont bother with names for unimportant NPCs, but dont let them blank (like the dude with the girl in the bar) - give them standard descriptions "bald guy" , "hot chick" , "waitress" ... you get it.
The whole start feels rushed or pointless - only time will tell what it is.
You have so much "noise" around the MC and rushes thru interactions between the MC and (probably) important characters. Part of the problem is that we follow so many other NPCs ... great example is the "spy on Katya" scene, we dont need to see the "no name" guy. Wthout that the MC and player would know as much as with it. So that is wasted time on a pointless render ... just as an example.
Edit: Oh and the whole Katya stuff - she is a bitch I get it, but why does she leave you behind instead of taking you with her to the office? Then you get another "no choice" because of that. Dont do that shit. - Then when you talk to Cloe, you say Andrew/Andrey warned her - but it was Katya... then the call from Steve/Steven ... and half of the time his name is missing again.
tldr: drop interactive crap, rework your introduction, stick to 1 name per character (!!!), flesh out important characters and their interactions with the MC
Oh yeah and dont give us a "choice" to help Christine or not, when the other one just ends the game with some Russian text.
And I dont get it .. why that intro with some Tanya (she is never mentioned later on (version: Ep2)) and then we get that Christina/e with no context ... the game really lacks transitions. And then way later we get the introduction to Anna ... if I remember correctly I mentioned that already with the first release ...
Then the "interactive" stuff - drop that. There is no point for some "find the clickable part in the image" crap when there is only 1 point to click on.
Another thing is the mix-up of names, it is confusing as fuck.
I guess Andrey and Andrew are the same person? Same with Christina/Christine and Anna/Anya?
The engrish is still another major problem ... yeah you are Russian and they dont teach English at school (I assume, because of the bad English skills I witness on this site ^^) - but then try to find a proofreader to help. I am not a native speaker myself and make a bunch of mistakes - but I dont try to tell a story ppl want to follow - or ask for donations bc I post long texts like this ^^
and why you even have a MC when you only see other characters have fun?
I dont mind NTR or stuff that is leaning in that direction, but I hate the shift in perspective. It is more like a "multiple protagonist" game, but only 1 of them gets some choices.
The introduction and the setup of the plot is so unstructured and convoluted. The game needs to be revamped already. You dont need other or new renders, you just have to rearrange the content and better introduce the characters and premise. And stick to 1(!) name per character.
Good example is the "call parents" - so you move to you uncle (I guess?) and only when you are there you write to your mom? Then you tell you uncle that your dad is a police officer? - worst piece of exposition ever. That is all pointless information, and stuff the characters already should know - and if it might be important in the future for the player, that you mum is a principal and your dad an officer, than tell it later or earlier in some kind of introduction at the start.
"You are XX and you mother is the principal of the local school, your father is a police officer and .... " - not the best way ... but yeah .. probably better that this.
I think the dev dont have at least a general plan for the story - so he/she wings it on the fly and that is a mistake.
Why mention that Tanya when she is not important? If she is not important you can just say "what's with your girlfriend? Any progress?" - "No, nothing yet ... bla bla". In general dont bother with names for unimportant NPCs, but dont let them blank (like the dude with the girl in the bar) - give them standard descriptions "bald guy" , "hot chick" , "waitress" ... you get it.
The whole start feels rushed or pointless - only time will tell what it is.
You have so much "noise" around the MC and rushes thru interactions between the MC and (probably) important characters. Part of the problem is that we follow so many other NPCs ... great example is the "spy on Katya" scene, we dont need to see the "no name" guy. Wthout that the MC and player would know as much as with it. So that is wasted time on a pointless render ... just as an example.
Edit: Oh and the whole Katya stuff - she is a bitch I get it, but why does she leave you behind instead of taking you with her to the office? Then you get another "no choice" because of that. Dont do that shit. - Then when you talk to Cloe, you say Andrew/Andrey warned her - but it was Katya... then the call from Steve/Steven ... and half of the time his name is missing again.
tldr: drop interactive crap, rework your introduction, stick to 1 name per character (!!!), flesh out important characters and their interactions with the MC
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