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Maviarab

Dark Lord of the Coffee
Donor
Jul 12, 2020
10,573
24,747
Well played...and really liked.

However...there are some big issues with continuity and flags not firing (not checked all code yet for theose flags). Example being leaving Keira and taking drive with you...yet later on Day 8 you tell Mary you left the drive with her (so if you did...why is Mary going through it...and when did you pick it up etc).

I've noticed this on a few scenes. Lisa asking us to give Amy a job...yet she already works for us...(and at this time of the convo..we do know this info)....Lisa saying Amy is friend yet only met her once...has there been a change at some point (save me looking through entire thread) and some old scenes have been left in, or dialogue changes that now affect previous scenes? Certainly something you might want to double check.

Either way, I did enjoy it and look forward to more...
 

icesun

Be nice! Until it's time to not be nice...
Former Staff
Nov 2, 2018
904
2,411
Well played...and really liked.

However...there are some big issues with continuity and flags not firing (not checked all code yet for theose flags). Example being leaving Keira and taking drive with you...yet later on Day 8 you tell Mary you left the drive with her (so if you did...why is Mary going through it...and when did you pick it up etc).

I've noticed this on a few scenes. Lisa asking us to give Amy a job...yet she already works for us...(and at this time of the convo..we do know this info)....Lisa saying Amy is friend yet only met her once...has there been a change at some point (save me looking through entire thread) and some old scenes have been left in, or dialogue changes that now affect previous scenes? Certainly something you might want to double check.

Either way, I did enjoy it and look forward to more...
The issue with Keira is known (it's a variable not set correctly, will be fixed in the future, if you need an immediate fix check my post on the previous page - if you don't know how to do that (fixing, I mean), PM me and I'll explain in more detail).
The thing with Amy is: she's just an intern (mentioned in the game at some point) and Lisa is asking for her to get a (real) job (beyond that internship), so there's no plothole...
 

Maviarab

Dark Lord of the Coffee
Donor
Jul 12, 2020
10,573
24,747
The issue with Keira is known (it's a variable not set correctly, will be fixed in the future, if you need an immediate fix check my post on the previous page - if you don't know how to do that (fixing, I mean), PM me and I'll explain in more detail).
The thing with Amy is: she's just an intern (mentioned in the game at some point) and Lisa is asking for her to get a (real) job (beyond that internship), so there's no plothole...
I know Python..like said..not looked into the code myself....will check your post. (reading that..it seems like the blackmail doesn;t trigger. That was not what I referred to. if you do not leave the drive with her...you later tell Mary that you did).

I never said a plothole but it is an inconsistency and bad continuity...and there's a few moments like that...like odd scenes that seem out of order...or dialogue that seems like it should be there but isn't...and vice-versa.

Would it have been so hard for an extra line of dialogue telling Lisa she already works there...and you'll see what you can do? Or to actually make what you said...actually obvious from lisa? Would have taken what..5 more words? Small nitpick maybe (like sex descriptions which in no way match the image, that really annoys me froma writing perspective)...but such a polished and quality story, renders....these little small things let it down.
 

HansDampf788

Well-Known Member
Dec 31, 2018
1,897
6,266
it's her not him, her name is Karen, she is a neighbor ;) and she has a daughter, that's what mary told in a conversation to mc :)
The dev either made a mistake there or retconned that, because when Mary told the MC that she found the blackmailer the MC said that he remembers her and that she had a son named David.
 

Venoma

Active Member
Nov 30, 2018
633
979
The story presentation just got worse with this last update. So much cringy dialog and wasted potential being lost here trying to get too overly cute chasing too many fetish angles, and which as a total sum just adds up to your typical drivel attempt at a story that unfortunately just serves to drag down a 5 star girl game. Which probably explains why this game is sitting where it is at on patreon instead of at least double that at this point after such a super promising v1.

Ditch the backstory element with the "family", ditch the inclusion of a literal interpretation harem, and this game likely leans a lot better on it's strong point. Even with an average story done with a more KISS focused approach that wouldbe easier to do out of dev when writing isn't going to be the strong point (which is always going to end up as an emphasized fail when you are going to try and write in even passable and non-cringy come-home-to-fuck-my-family/harem story stuff). Ya know, something like:

You play the role of a 27-year-old who's father ran off and married another woman when he was young. He returns to his father's hometown after nearly 10 years to hear his father's last will and testament. You control the MC as he attempts to exact revenge on Linda, the woman he suspects had a hand in his death. Plotting his revenge, the MC falls deeper and deeper into the world of secrets of his father, discovering things he never had any clue about. The MC will have to come face-to-face with his dark side and while trying to screw every girl he encounters along the way. Help the MC find out the truth by playing "REVENGE"
 

Spfjolietjake

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 26, 2019
7,515
14,666
... Which probably explains why this game is sitting where it is at on patreon instead of at least double that at this point after such a super promising v1.
I disagree. It was in my opinion the dev painstakingly changing three major things and grinding the release of an update to a halt that hurt it's popularity, temporarily. This vn doesn't need anymore changes and is great as is. There are other vn's out there if it ain't your bag, but for this to pretty much change everything is crazy to me.
 

Avaron1974

Resident Lesbian
Aug 22, 2018
25,908
89,375
The story presentation just got worse with this last update. So much cringy dialog and wasted potential being lost here trying to get too overly cute chasing too many fetish angles, and which as a total sum just adds up to your typical drivel attempt at a story that unfortunately just serves to drag down a 5 star girl game. Which probably explains why this game is sitting where it is at on patreon instead of at least double that at this point after such a super promising v1.

Ditch the backstory element with the "family", ditch the inclusion of a literal interpretation harem, and this game likely leans a lot better on it's strong point. Even with an average story done with a more KISS focused approach that wouldbe easier to do out of dev when writing isn't going to be the strong point (which is always going to end up as an emphasized fail when you are going to try and write in even passable and non-cringy come-home-to-fuck-my-family/harem story stuff). Ya know, something like:

You play the role of a 27-year-old who's father ran off and married another woman when he was young. He returns to his father's hometown after nearly 10 years to hear his father's last will and testament. You control the MC as he attempts to exact revenge on Linda, the woman he suspects had a hand in his death. Plotting his revenge, the MC falls deeper and deeper into the world of secrets of his father, discovering things he never had any clue about. The MC will have to come face-to-face with his dark side and while trying to screw every girl he encounters along the way. Help the MC find out the truth by playing "REVENGE"
What is it with people trying to change devs games to suit themselves....

No, just no.

Yours sounds like rape fest trash I see in those shitty mass produced RPGM's. It's fine if you don't like it but don't try and turn it into your shitty abomination.

This is the devs story, you want that garbage make your own. I enjoy this, I don't want it turned into that shit show you typed out.
 

Venoma

Active Member
Nov 30, 2018
633
979
I disagree. It was in my opinion the dev painstakingly changing three major things and grinding the release of an update to a halt that hurt it's popularity, temporarily. This vn doesn't need anymore changes and is great as is. There are other vn's out there if it ain't your bag, but for this to pretty much change everything is crazy to me.
Popularity among who? The pirates here with multiple accounts who pretty much make a daily habit out of jumping from thread to thread obsessively criticizing games to push their own individual preferences to see the same things (or non inclusion of things) in every one?

In the grander scheme of things that is just more of the contributing factor to the problem then any type of solution towards why so many of these games end up with rubbish stories ;)

I also wasn't actually saying he change anything with this one either. Since it's too late for that anyway. This game is already too far into development to turn itself around from it's fated course. Was more a learning suggestion for the next one, as once past the disconnect factor he has going on the dev certainly has the talent to put out something that will do a lot better financially with his target base then this one ever will.

As I rated it it in my review, still a 4 star game for me just based on the girls. Could of just been a lot better imo.
 
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Venoma

Active Member
Nov 30, 2018
633
979
What is it with people trying to change devs games to suit themselves....

No, just no.

Yours sounds like rape fest trash I see in those shitty mass produced RPGM's. It's fine if you don't like it but don't try and turn it into your shitty abomination.

This is the devs story, you want that garbage make your own. I enjoy this, I don't want it turned into that shit show you typed out.
I don't even tend to like Dom paths in my games actually. But it definitely seems to have an heavy influence on the story he wants to write here.

So yeah. if it sound rapey that is still his game you are talking about there. Not to mention his own summary writeup in the OP I simply changed a few lines of text on. My suggestion was just minus the need to include a bunch of extra in game dialog trying to justify why literal harems are ok, and the come-back-home element theme.
 
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