Great update
Purple Fellas !
MC: ... He
had(
was) kidnapped by the same people who abducted you!
Daisy:
Am(
Do) I really turn you on that much? /MC answer:Yes, you
are(
do)!
Daisy: Listen, the last couple of days
wasn't(weren't) easy for me...
MC: You guys (
are) supposed to protect my home!
Vanessa: ... we learned about (
the) ugly truth!
Olivia:
Is(
Does) it look like I care?...
MC: ... I manage(
d) to cross (
to) your world.
MC: ... A picture
will(
is)(or"will be") worth a thousand words! Well, in this case, a photo
will(
is)(or"will be") worth...
MC: Look carefully.
Is(
Does) she remind you
,(
of) someone?
MC: How are we supposed to protect ourselves from such a
thread(
threat).
Olivia: We
spend(
spent) that night together. At first
,(not sure if comma needed) we only talk(
ed).
Olivia: He told me about his life and how he decided to join (
the) rebels. ("the rebellion" i think sounds better, considering that Olivia is a part of it, "the rebels" makes it sound as if it is something she is not a part of)
Olivia: I was so angry. I scream(
ed) and scream(
ed).
Olivia: When I stop(
ped) screaming, he looked into my eyes and said: 'So? What's wrong with sleeping
,(
with) multiple women...
Olivia: Also, when he hears about how you really feel about him, he might show us his true color(
s).
Olivia: You are going to tell him about your feelings before he
left(
leaves).
Daisy: I asked Olivia to talk with him but
,(delete , or put it after "him") I am too afraid to hear his
responds(
response)...
MC: You convinced Vanessa to take me in and then, you defended me during
the dinner.
Daisy: Vanessa is a really good farmer and our vegetables are the best. So, they decided to
gave("give" or "So they gave us") us (
a) few farm animals to grow our productivity.
MC: After everything I
learn(
learnt), I feel like the more I stay...
MC:
So as everyone (Same as everyone/ So does everyone?)
MC: My life was much better when I was just a kid who
knows(
knew) nothing about anything.
Olivia: One day you are happy and the next day, everything change(
s) for the worst.
Olivia: ... I wish i
can(
could) think the same way as you do...
Olivia: ... I just pay a visit (
from) time to time to see if Vanessa and Daisy (
are) okay or they need anything.
Olivia: I'm sure you already notice(
d) this but, Daisy has a crush on you.
Olivia: We will leave tonight, after
the dinner.
MC: ... I'm guessing you and that man had
a history.
MC: Yes. I got betrayed by someone I
've really trusted as well.
MC: Anyway, there was this girl from
the work.
MC: At least that was what I
've believed.
MC: Therefore, I've decided to
gave(give / "I gave her another chance") her another chance.
MC: ... The Olivia I know from my world and I
, (delete , add "
are") pretty close...
MC: She is a little more naive and innocent compare(
d) to you.
Olivia: ... He really likes you
?(
!)
(Olivia asks him if he can spend time with Daisy, but she already asked him this, when he misunderstood it and she said she wasn't pimping her)
Olivia: Daisy (
has) always been alone in this world...
Daisy: I
've wanted
to that moment (
to) never end.
MC: (Her innocence and willingness, makes
this so much hot! ("
so hot" or "
so much hotter"))
Daisy: Are you also (
going to) remember me?
Olivia: I don't care (
about) the consequences...
MC:
Admired(
Admiring) the show I suppose.
Olivia: Take this camera. It's kinda old but, it should do the work. ("Should do the trick" / "should work"?)
Olivia: I can't wait to see his face when I show
ed(
show) these pictures to him.
MC:
They (
It) feel(
s) amazing!(single hand being used)
MC: ... They are not the type of people that would listen to
the reason.