- Jan 21, 2018
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- Thread starter Alexander Krisnov
- Start date
- Feb 19, 2019
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Hi, it's been a long time.
This is going to be a long post not related to the games because after christmas I will dedicate time to answer your messages and focus on the games.
To make it short, I didn't had a good year and after the incident with my sister everything went even worse. Taking care of my sister with the constant fear of losing her was a situation that I was not prepared for. Add this to the fact that most of my things were stolen when I was moving and you can guess that my mental health was not the best. I also had to balance this with my job and working on the games.
In the end I found myself unable to do anything. I tried to do everything and I wasn't able to do anything, that's what was happening. I couldn't dedicate time to Patreon, I was too tired to do a good job at the warehouse and I felt like I wasn't doing enough for my sister and her husband. There is also another personal problem that I'm not going to mention.
In the end I snaped and suffered a mental breakdown in public. Not going to enter in details, but it was not beautiful. The feeling of impotence, the frustration and the excesive amount of work... I was too arrogant to admit that it was too much for me and that was the result.
But it's not all bad news. I swallowed my pride and went to a psychologist soon after. I explained the situation to my boss and family and I finally think that I'm in control again.
My sister also accepted the situation and is getting help daily to fight her depression and an assistant to help with the house. Luckily my boss has a golden heart and told me to rest until january when I can go back if I want.
Since I lost my parents when I was young, I've always been a very independent person who took care of my own problems while trying to take care of my sister and her own problems, and never in my life did I thought that I would be in this situation, and maybe if I talked about it sooner this situation could be avoided.
I'll spend a few more days with my sister and I'll be back to my home to take care of my own problems once for all. Even know I'm a little ashamed that I ended like this, but if you can see a smilar situation reflected on you, please, don't be ashamed of asking for help. Maybe it will go again by itself or maybe you are suffering a depression. The risk it's not worth it. It's not always about being sad, it has many faces and all of them look in the same direction.
I know that the advice of a warehouse worker that makes porn games in secret doesn't sound very relevant, but let me tell you one last thing. While I was working for the "big A" I suffered a stroke that left me in bed with the risk of not being able to move part of my body and the rehabilitation was extremely painful, and if it wasn't for the help of the doctors who were with me every day, maybe I would still be in bed. I feel like this was the same. If I tried to keep going alone, without treating my problem, I would still be sick.
I hope that if someone is having a bad time and is reading this, finds the courage to accept that maybe the thing that he or she is missing, is someone else's help.
Thank you for reading and I want you to know that I'm finally back. Thank you so much for your kind messages and for asking about my health in private, soon I'll be able to spend time here to speak with you. And for those who sent me hateful messages, it's ok, I understand your frustration and if you stick with me, soon you will see content again.
Merry christmas!
pd: You can't imagine how hard was to write this message and how awkward I feel!
pd2: sorry for reading this kind of stuff in a site like this, I know that you are not here for that, but I found it necessary to speak about it
- Apr 26, 2017
- 1,061
- 2,260
Wow... He has my very deep respect for being so honest. I wish him all the best in 2020!
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Unlocked
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Hi, it's been a long time.
This is going to be a long post not related to the games because after christmas I will dedicate time to answer your messages and focus on the games.
To make it short, I didn't had a good year and after the incident with my sister everything went even worse. Taking care of my sister with the constant fear of losing her was a situation that I was not prepared for. Add this to the fact that most of my things were stolen when I was moving and you can guess that my mental health was not the best. I also had to balance this with my job and working on the games.
In the end I found myself unable to do anything. I tried to do everything and I wasn't able to do anything, that's what was happening. I couldn't dedicate time to Patreon, I was too tired to do a good job at the warehouse and I felt like I wasn't doing enough for my sister and her husband. There is also another personal problem that I'm not going to mention.
In the end I snaped and suffered a mental breakdown in public. Not going to enter in details, but it was not beautiful. The feeling of impotence, the frustration and the excesive amount of work... I was too arrogant to admit that it was too much for me and that was the result.
But it's not all bad news. I swallowed my pride and went to a psychologist soon after. I explained the situation to my boss and family and I finally think that I'm in control again.
My sister also accepted the situation and is getting help daily to fight her depression and an assistant to help with the house. Luckily my boss has a golden heart and told me to rest until january when I can go back if I want.
Since I lost my parents when I was young, I've always been a very independent person who took care of my own problems while trying to take care of my sister and her own problems, and never in my life did I thought that I would be in this situation, and maybe if I talked about it sooner this situation could be avoided.
I'll spend a few more days with my sister and I'll be back to my home to take care of my own problems once for all. Even know I'm a little ashamed that I ended like this, but if you can see a smilar situation reflected on you, please, don't be ashamed of asking for help. Maybe it will go again by itself or maybe you are suffering a depression. The risk it's not worth it. It's not always about being sad, it has many faces and all of them look in the same direction.
I know that the advice of a warehouse worker that makes porn games in secret doesn't sound very relevant, but let me tell you one last thing. While I was working for the "big A" I suffered a stroke that left me in bed with the risk of not being able to move part of my body and the rehabilitation was extremely painful, and if it wasn't for the help of the doctors who were with me every day, maybe I would still be in bed. I feel like this was the same. If I tried to keep going alone, without treating my problem, I would still be sick.
I hope that if someone is having a bad time and is reading this, finds the courage to accept that maybe the thing that he or she is missing, is someone else's help.
Thank you for reading and I want you to know that I'm finally back. Thank you so much for your kind messages and for asking about my health in private, soon I'll be able to spend time here to speak with you. And for those who sent me hateful messages, it's ok, I understand your frustration and if you stick with me, soon you will see content again.
Merry christmas!
pd: You can't imagine how hard was to write this message and how awkward I feel!
pd2: sorry for reading this kind of stuff in a site like this, I know that you are not here for that, but I found it necessary to speak about it
- Jan 23, 2018
- 3,005
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If indeed it IS honest, and not just some elaborately made up story to excuse him postponing things, for whatever reason....
Sorry, but I'm skeptical of 99% of what I read online, til I see the ending result. If it indeed is a true story, then I wish him well, and not just for the game, but for his own personal health. I understand depression very well, and have lived it myself, for many years. It's nothing to take lightly, and what he said is true. If anyone is struggling, they shouldn't be too prideful to ask for help.
That said...I'm aching to see a huge update to Selena. Here's to a good future with this game! (hand raising glass of whiskey in a drunken toast)
I'm also starting to doubt his honesty.
It's plausible that this man have been through a lot a hard things recently, sometimes all the bad stuff happens at once but there's still no news from him after this post. I've sent him PM before this and I still have no response, maybe his mailbox is so full that it'll take him weeks to respond to all the PMs he recieved but in the meantime I changed my pledge from 5$ to 1$.
I should have made this change before, as much as I love this game, I hate to throw money at nothing.
I really hope he'll come back on track and he'll be able to deliver us more of Selena and Astra soon.
- Jan 23, 2018
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I dropped my patreon page long ago, mainly due to getting burned one too many times...but, if I was pledging him and he was doing this, I would have stopped pledging completely, till he came back. No need burning money on nothing, as you said.
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Yeah, it's the "Morality stat" kind where some events are locked behind that, but IIRC there are sexual choices with other or no requirements as well.
I'll come back to 5$ only if there is a Selena update and if there is nothing new from him (be it a post saying he's working on Selena or naked at school 6 or even just an answer to my PM) at the end of this month I'll completely stop my support.
I'llhate to see such a great game abandoned, but things aren't looking good and I see a lot of good creators vanishing. It'd be such a waste that I really hope he'll come back
I'm a bit put off by all the comments about the game being abandoned. Especially by the early ones back in October. If you've been following this game for a while, you'd note that Serio has always had an irregular update schedule. He's not a monthly updater like the more popular creators, with his last major updates taking between five to nine months. Going through the logs: 17-11-04 (0.4) > 18-01-06 (0.45.1) > 18-03-31 (0.5) > 18-06-30 (0.55) > 19-01-31 (0.6.1) > 19-03-17 (0.6.5) > 19-06-06 (0.69) > 19-07-01 (0.7).
Sure, it's been a while since the last update or minigame now, but I'm not really too concerned about abandonment yet. I think he might be struggling a bit with the story like many other creators, and I think his ongoing personal issues are partially made up to earn sympathy for his lack of updates as well. His personal stories just sound too far-fetched. Just speculation, of course, but I think it mainly comes down to lack of self-discipline, lack of financial incentive and getting bored of his own game.
That said, I don't recommend people spending money monthly on Patreon if there's no schedule or updates for a few months. Unless they really like the creator and have money enough to forgo.
I personally find his games are some of the best on F95, with fun, interactive gameplay and the rare ENF/humiliation fetish being one of my favourites. I hope he keeps on updating and making similar stuff and wish him the best. If he feels burnt out I don't mind him just taking a short break and coming back to it after soothing his mind a bit.
Sure, it's been a while since the last update or minigame now, but I'm not really too concerned about abandonment yet. I think he might be struggling a bit with the story like many other creators, and I think his ongoing personal issues are partially made up to earn sympathy for his lack of updates as well. His personal stories just sound too far-fetched. Just speculation, of course, but I think it mainly comes down to lack of self-discipline, lack of financial incentive and getting bored of his own game.
That said, I don't recommend people spending money monthly on Patreon if there's no schedule or updates for a few months. Unless they really like the creator and have money enough to forgo.
I personally find his games are some of the best on F95, with fun, interactive gameplay and the rare ENF/humiliation fetish being one of my favourites. I hope he keeps on updating and making similar stuff and wish him the best. If he feels burnt out I don't mind him just taking a short break and coming back to it after soothing his mind a bit.
- Jan 21, 2018
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He frequently posted. Then there is a gap in nov/dec. He posted again on Dec 24 explaining the situation. Literally two weeks ago. So you have a guy saying that he is still working on the project. A guy who says "it is ok if you write me hatemail, I will make a new version and try to win you back". That does not look abandoned at all.
While there are games that are super-scammy (IMHO) and that are milking patrons for months, I think people here are just making unnecessary drama. People want to influence something that they can't influence. I mean we have all read similar stuff here:
"I think you would reach more people if your gay furry game would contain some lesbian bondage."
"I would not pledge if the NTR in 'wife stealer 9000' was not avoidable."
"does it contain femdom?" "what about this one?" "how much femdom is in here?"
HE'S ALIVE ! He gave me a response to my PM and between other things he told me that he plans on releasing the should-have-been-a-mini-game-but-itll-be-more-like-a-full-game, Paladin at the end of the month.
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Hi! I hope you had a wonderful holidays!
I'm going to start talking about the project and what can you expect.
The ashamed girl you see in the picture is Lady Filian, one of the Four Cardinals of the Holy church, and the head paladin of the sacred order. How did she ended like that? You will know it this month!
The mini-game will be "not so mini", and it will be similar to an old-style Legend of Zelda.
It's not going to be a turn based RPG and it will also have a very discrete roguelite touch with reseting dungeons and gained experience.
This game like many others was an excuse to disconect from Selena game to think of new cases and testing mechanics. Like almost all the minigames that I made.
I'm very proud of what I'm doing and I think that it will turn really good as a game and as an adult game. More focused in humilliation and corruption, but the ENF part will always be part of my games. I consider myself an ENF creator and I'll always be.
I want to publish it this month whatever it takes. That means that if I need to remove an entire dungeon, scene or mechanic, so it will be. First, because I have to publish something (since I'm a creator...) And second, because it's important to me that this game is finished when I want it finished. In the worst case, I can always add a DLC or something.
What I wanted to test with this game was the Fighting System for Astra's game (Check it
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if you didn't). The thing with this game is that long time ago I paid someone to make some parts of the game, like the fighting and crating system, but the guy just gave me back (part) of the money and said that he was no longer interesed when I was almost ready to publish the demo. I was SO frustrated that I never touched the game again... but I plan to work on it again someday, not soon, but someday.I ended using premade resources of the graphic engine (RPG Maker MV) for this game, but I actually made myself a lot of the sprites and graphics which I will use on Astra's game, and if this project keeps growing, maybe I can even pay someone to make them, but I'm afraid of the same thing happening before...
I'm talking about me like I'm some kind of game designer, but I never studied anything related to this industry so let me be very clear, saying that I'm an amateur is being generous. As you can see in my previous works I made some decent things that I'm actually proud but then there are things like the "Gaming Quiz Show" and "Run Alex Run". Damn... I cringe every time I see that game. But to be fair, it was just an april's fool joke that I used to work on a stealth system to implement a quest in Selena's game. But even so... good lord, how awful it was...
And in the "Gaming Quiz Show" I was trying to replicate a Python function in RPG Maker to make it more easy to work in the future.
"Grace Good Deed" was my first mini game, I was just testing the graphic engine since I had no idea of anything, and I think it ended pretty well.
"The newspaper club" is an actual puzzle game, of trial and error. I played something similar a LONG time ago, one of the first games I ever played. You were some kind of weird elf that had to get things and put them in certain places and order to escape a prison, the same premise that in my game. I remember thinking... "I want to do that, maybe someone remembers the elf game and I can play it again!" But I also tested some plugins that I wanted to add to the main game and it also helped presenting more characters from Grace's story.
The Christmas game was something similar to the "Gaming quiz show", testing things that I knew, but in this graphic engine. And give Grace more time "on screen".
The hallowing game has no back story. I wanted to make something funny for halloween while using the characters that doesn't appear on Selena's game. At first was a parody of most adult rpgmaker games. "Go from A to B, see CG. Go from B to C see CG and repeat for the rest of the game, no gameplay for you".
To be honest, I hate this kind of games, the infamous "CG hunters". Just use another engine! Renpy is perfect for this or even Game Studio! I actually think that pure CG games are awesome, in them you can only tell a story and nothing else. No distraction for the players/readers, pure narrative. I don't think that I have the skill to make a 100% narrative game. Well, a good narrative game...
I wanted to "make fun" of this kind of RPGMaker CG hunters games, but then I thought... "Who the hell do you think you are, Serio?" For real, anyone is free of using any method that they want to tell their story. So I put my ego in place and made a silly game which is an hybrid "CG hunter" but with a little of actual gameplay.
And then the "Gray Vs Lighting" game. When I finished this game I actually thought: "Serio, you are an idiot." I used RPGMaker, a graphic engine to make turn-based fights to make a turn-base fight game... And I didn't use the engine for it! I fabricated the whole fighting system from scratch because I'm an idiot! I just don't like it! The default figths are so boring, why did they made the most important part of the engine so bad! Agh!
Whatever, I wanted a game to use the characters from my other universe with some lesbian action and so I did. And I even had some positive feedback!
For those wondering (no one) I wrote about three "universes". Ogre City in a "realistic" world. Tintagel (Astra) in a world of fantasy, magic and legends and the futuristic galaxy where Gray and Lighting fight for justice!
The paladin's game is in the same world than Astra's game, but in the past. In a big war against the demon's army, they where finally defeated at a big cost, and Tintagel became one of the keys to keep the portal to Underworld closed under the constant vigilance of the greatest heroes. The paladin's game takes place some time before that big war starts. Just some lore that I made you read for no reason
And that's all for know! Everything is going slowly back to normal. The only bad new is that the doctor asked me to take Cymbalta and I hate this kind of medicaments that can affect your mind and make you dizzy, especially if you work in a warehouse...
If you are interesed in my condition (or if I feel like talking about it) maybe I tell you more in the future. Expect more posts soon and let's do our best to have an awesome year 2020!
- Serio
someone tell the developer we are not interested in mini-games. We are interested in Selena
- Jan 23, 2018
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1- I've never assumed the game was getting close to being abandoned. I just stay cautious with donating money, due to all the phishes out there who milk money a little longer before releasing something....not even assuming he's doing that...just saying all his personal stories sound far-fetched, as was mentioned above.
2- It appears like he got burned out on the Selena story and needed something different to jog his cogs a bit, so he needed to work on a new game. But, telling personal stories that may or may not be true (none of us really know, anyway) honestly shouldn't be necessary. If he got burned out and needed to take a break and work on something new, there's nothing wrong in telling people that. It's understandable and respectable.
3- I'll probably check out this new game he's working on, cause you never know. It may be pretty cool. But, I just hope it isn't gonna take up too much time, and postpone Selena too much longer. I'd rather have an update to Selena than to see a new project pop up.
2- It appears like he got burned out on the Selena story and needed something different to jog his cogs a bit, so he needed to work on a new game. But, telling personal stories that may or may not be true (none of us really know, anyway) honestly shouldn't be necessary. If he got burned out and needed to take a break and work on something new, there's nothing wrong in telling people that. It's understandable and respectable.
3- I'll probably check out this new game he's working on, cause you never know. It may be pretty cool. But, I just hope it isn't gonna take up too much time, and postpone Selena too much longer. I'd rather have an update to Selena than to see a new project pop up.
I never assumed he milked his partons, or was he dishonest. I just thought he maybe got burnt out but either still trying to force the work or he didn't really realized it and with his work maybe he lost track on time and thought that he went "missing" for a shorter period than in reality or something along those lines.
When he posted on 24/12 I thought we'llget a little post saying merry christmas or happy new year but nothing so Ibegan to think that either he's got anotheer family or health related issue or he was bunt out and the last post was him trying to say "Ok I can do it, I have to give them something" but eventually couldn't so I lowered my pledge to see if he'll keep silent for a long time or not this time.
I really love his work and the ENF genre (I don't like all the mini-games but the majority are really nice and Astra had a good start and seems promising, I hope he'll return to it eventually) so I'm really glad he's back, even if it's not Selena right now but Paladin should have been released a long time ago already and I think most of the work is done compared to the next Selena update so it's wiser to continue working on Paladin rather than starting a Selena update form scratch.