VN Ren'Py Serenity [Ch. 2 v0.3] [N2TheFire]

[Meridian]

Kaths content is not very enjoyable right now but it has potential. Its just her character seems to follow adventerous/free-spirited/"slutty" archetype while main character is very vanilla towards her right now. If next time mc takes control like he already plans to and switch power dynamic a bit it should be fine. Make sex a bit more kinky with her too with dirty talk and whatnot since vanilla sex with characters like Kath is a bit lame and boring.

It is understandable that some people dont like her right now but since she is supposed to be "nympho" for mc and seems to plan on being devoted to him in all things that matters it wont take long for her to win players over. She just needs to be good girl for mc.

I only dont like how fast it took for mc to start loving her, it just makes their background frustarting. I wish it took a bit longer for him to do that.

edit: Also I am not sure about this line "And Kat, by the way, when you arrive there, you will feel an incredible sense of wanting to serve and take care of [mc]." Wouldnt it be better if she and other women wanted to take care of mc without any magical mind control help from the book? This kind of cheapens any affection we may see from women towards main character in future.

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

Kath's content is not very enjoyable right now but it has potential. It's just her character seems to follow adventurous/free-spirited/"slutty" archetype while the main character is very vanilla towards her right now. If next time mc takes control like he already plans to and switch power dynamic a bit it should be fine. Make sex a bit more kinky with her too with dirty talk and whatnot since vanilla sex with characters like Kath is a bit lame and boring.

It is understandable that some people don't like her right now but since she is supposed to be "nympho" for mc and seems to plan on being devoted to him in all things that matter it won't take long for her to win players over. She just needs to be a good girl for mc.

I only don't like how fast it took for mc to start loving her, it just makes their background frustrating. I wish it took a bit longer for him to do that.

amen on that, sister

the Dev may need to read other novels or some slow-burn fanfictions XD or watch more animes about love and romance...then add the sex to it XD

 

[Moleman111]

So will this be a kinetic novel? Would have liked a choice to reject Kat in the shower, sorry I just don't like her I think you went overboard on her being a super slut, other than that there's not too much to judge yet will see what happens next

 

[Marcope]

N2TheFire I know most people in this thread are mostly not your patreons, but that doesn't mean we didn't represent a large part of your "future" player base.

So instead of making a private post only to your 8 patreons about Kat, why not make that post open so you can see what people think about Kat. I mean, maybe that 8 people don't care at all about the story or are ok with the incoherent way of acting that Kat has, but listening only to your patreons about things that could change the game, making it better or not for most of your future players, it's a mistake. IMHO

You can do what you want of course, just saying that having only a few people choose something about your game or wanting to know just the opinion of a few, may not be the best idea in the long run, it sure doesn't make me want to support when a dev instead of after seeing the major complaint that your game was, instead of thinking it may have some kind of truth, the first thing you do is go to ask your patreons, if that will be the normal thing, then I will pass.

Listening to the player base, even if most of them are pirates, and then making your own choice, it's something I like about devs. If you go and only listen to your patreons, then I fear that after a few updates you will start putting content not many like, just because your patreons ask you to.

Again just my opinion, I didn't like Kat, because she is incoherent, so it makes the character not a believable one. You can't make a character saying that she is in love with the MC and then having said character do things that doesn't show said love for the MC, not being with him when his mom is dying, not helping him, fucking around instead of trying to be with the guy she "loves", she hardly has to try to be with the MC so that makes her going for other guys instead of the MC a dumb move, etc. Characters in VN should be believable, if they say one thing but then do other is a red flag.

 

[tanstaafl]

N2TheFire I know most people in this thread are mostly not your patreons, but that doesn't mean we didn't represent a large part of your "future" player base.

So instead of making a private post only to your 8 patreons about Kat, why not make that post open so you can see what people think about Kat. I mean, maybe that 8 people don't care at all about the story or are ok with the incoherent way of acting that Kat has, but listening only to your patreons about things that could change the game, making it better or not for most of your future players, it's a mistake. IMHO

You can do what you want of course, just saying that having only a few people choose something about your game or wanting to know just the opinion of a few, may not be the best idea in the long run, it sure doesn't make me want to support when a dev instead of after seeing the major complaint that your game was, instead of thinking it may have some kind of truth, the first thing you do is go to ask your patreons, if that will be the normal thing, then I will pass.

Listening to the player base, even if most of them are pirates, and then making your own choice, it's something I like about devs. If you go and only listen to your patreons, then I fear that after a few updates you will start putting content not many like, just because your patreons ask you to.

Again just my opinion, I didn't like Kat, because she is incoherent, so it makes the character not a believable one. You can't make a character saying that she is in love with the MC and then having said character do things that doesn't show said love for the MC, not being with him when his mom is dying, not helping him, fucking around instead of trying to be with the guy she "loves", she hardly has to try to be with the MC so that makes her going for other guys instead of the MC a dumb move, etc. Characters in VN should be believable, if they say one thing but then do other is a red flag.

My god. They're 20 years old. For the last 5 years the MC's mother was dying of cancer. The MC had no interest in her that way, he specifically mentions it in the game. Expecting a girl to spend her primary social teenage years pining after a guy who does not reciprocate the feelings is the ultimate in incel behavior. Period.

Pro tip: If you don't respond to a girl she will find someone else, despite feelings. If you believe anything else you're deceiving yourself.

 

[kantigura]

My god. They're 20 years old. For the last 5 years the MC's mother was dying of cancer. The MC had no interest in her that way, he specifically mentions it in the game. Expecting a girl to spend her primary social teenage years pining after a guy who does not reciprocate the feelings is the ultimate in incel behavior. Period.

Pro tip: If you don't respond to a girl she will find someone else, despite feelings. If you believe anything else you're deceiving yourself.

I don't see where the idea that Kat was not there for the MC during the mother's cancer is coming from. It was during that time, while Kat was there checking up on the mother that she found out about the "book" and her magic. The MC even states that Kat was the only one who has always been there for him, despite him keeping her in the "friendzone"

 

[tanstaafl]

I don't see where the idea that Kat was not there for the MC during the mother's cancer is coming from. It was during that time, while Kat was there checking up on the mother that she found out about the "book" and her magic. The MC even states that Kat was the only one who has always been there for him, despite him keeping her in the "friendzone"

I didn't say they weren't friends during that time, it just implies that the MC was busy with that much of the time. Then I said the MC didn't reciprocate her feelings at all. Women are not going to wait around for that.

 

[kantigura]

I didn't say they weren't friends during that time, it just implies that the MC was busy with that much of the time. Then I said the MC didn't reciprocate her feelings at all. Women are not going to wait around for that.

I agree with you, I was talking more about the post that you had replied to, and other posts talking about how she was not there for the MC.

 

[tanstaafl]

I agree with you, I was talking more about the post that you had replied to, and other posts talking about how she was not there for the MC.

I mean, they were obviously friends during that time. The MC knew she was interested and stated that he was not interested at that time. The implication may be that he wasn't interested in anyone while his mother was dying, or that he just noticed Kat now. We'll have to see as the story progresses.

My problem is with the incels who honestly believe that a woman should just wait around for a man to respond if they are interested in that man. That's not how anything works, especially for an attractive woman.

 

[kantigura]

I mean, they were obviously friends during that time. The MC knew she was interested and stated that he was not interested at that time. The implication may be that he wasn't interested in anyone while his mother was dying, or that he just noticed Kat now. We'll have to see as the story progresses.

My problem is with the incels who honestly believe that a woman should just wait around for a man to respond if they are interested in that man. That's not how anything works, especially for an attractive woman.

I am with you on that. He friendzoned her pretty hard. Most anyone would have moved on and found someone else, and even then they never worked out due to her still really only wanting the MC. The fact that she is willing to give up everything to go with him, even though she will have to compete with the other woman there, and his feeling might never change, shows just how much she cares about him.

 

[Moleman111]

So...many...incels.

Was that directed at me?

 

[tanstaafl]

Was that directed at me?

It was directed at people who think Kat should wait around like a good little girl for 5 years.

 

[Moleman111]

It was directed at people who think Kat should wait around like a good little girl for 5 years. That doesn't seem like you.

Oh ok it's cool just wasn't sure, personally I just didn't like her on that first impression she was a bit inconsistent in terms of character my point was more about having more choices, I don't really care who she's fucked and yes it is stupid and un-realistic to wait around for someone who doesn't feel the same way

 

[N2TheFire]

N2TheFire I know most people in this thread are mostly not your patreons, but that doesn't mean we didn't represent a large part of your "future" player base.

So instead of making a private post only to your 8 patreons about Kat, why not make that post open so you can see what people think about Kat. I mean, maybe that 8 people don't care at all about the story or are ok with the incoherent way of acting that Kat has, but listening only to your patreons about things that could change the game, making it better or not for most of your future players, it's a mistake. IMHO

You can do what you want of course, just saying that having only a few people choose something about your game or wanting to know just the opinion of a few, may not be the best idea in the long run, it sure doesn't make me want to support when a dev instead of after seeing the major complaint that your game was, instead of thinking it may have some kind of truth, the first thing you do is go to ask your patreons, if that will be the normal thing, then I will pass.

Listening to the player base, even if most of them are pirates, and then making your own choice, it's something I like about devs. If you go and only listen to your patreons, then I fear that after a few updates you will start putting content not many like, just because your patreons ask you to.

Again just my opinion, I didn't like Kat, because she is incoherent, so it makes the character not a believable one. You can't make a character saying that she is in love with the MC and then having said character do things that doesn't show said love for the MC, not being with him when his mom is dying, not helping him, fucking around instead of trying to be with the guy she "loves", she hardly has to try to be with the MC so that makes her going for other guys instead of the MC a dumb move, etc. Characters in VN should be believable, if they say one thing but then do other is a red flag.

Pretty sure the members here have made it perfectly clear how they feel. There was no need to ask the public what they think. I have most of you trying to tell me how I should write it already. I know this is my first game and all, and I knew I wasn't going to be some big popular AVN star dev overnight, I don't claim to be a pro yet... but some comments here were just blatantly harsh. So yeah, I chose to ask those who already support me to give me their thoughts. I was advised not to let things here get to me, but they do. I don't just listen to my patrons either. I have read and listened to everything that has been said here and other places and taken notes of these things. I do not place more value on my patrons than you. After all, if I can transform some of you into fans, then who knows... you may decide to support also.
Obviously, I failed you guys on Kat. Some would disagree with you (and have)... which leg do I stand on here? Frankly... no matter how I approach this issue, someone won't be happy. I can't possibly please every person here. I will handle the situation as best I can in the next update. I am not sure how yet but have a few ideas. Taking Kat out of the story or even giving you the choice to leave her completely changes a ton of main plot stuff I had already written that no one knows about yet. So taking her out isn't really an option for me. But I can alter some things in the first release. Maybe clean up things a bit and set things in a direction most will be happy (happier) with. We'll see. Don't ever think I don't care what you think here just because I choose to ask patrons something. Its false. Remove the harsh attitudes from this end also... it serves no purpose but attempt to derail me and bring my spirits down. I love doing this. I'm not in it for the money alone. All of you are just as important to me. So... peace? And I'll get back to the drawing board. Time to reset and make this happen because I know I have a good story here.

 

[kantigura]

Pretty sure the members here have made it perfectly clear how they feel. There was no need to ask the public what they think. I have most of you trying to tell me how I should write it already. I know this is my first game and all, and I knew I wasn't going to be some big popular AVN star dev overnight, I don't claim to be a pro yet... but some comments here were just blatantly harsh. So yeah, I chose to ask those who already support me to give me their thoughts. I was advised not to let things here get to me, but they do. I don't just listen to my patrons either. I have read and listened to everything that has been said here and other places and taken notes of these things. I do not place more value on my patrons than you. After all, if I can transform some of you into fans, then who knows... you may decide to support also.
Obviously, I failed you guys on Kat. Some would disagree with you (and have)... which leg do I stand on here? Frankly... no matter how I approach this issue, someone won't be happy. I can't possibly please every person here. I will handle the situation as best I can in the next update. I am not sure how yet but have a few ideas. Taking Kat out of the story or even giving you the choice to leave her completely changes a ton of main plot stuff I had already written that no one knows about yet. So taking her out isn't really an option for me. But I can alter some things in the first release. Maybe clean up things a bit and set things in a direction most will be happy (happier) with. We'll see. Don't ever think I don't care what you think here just because I choose to ask patrons something. Its false. Remove the harsh attitudes from this end also... it serves no purpose but attempt to derail me and bring my spirits down. I love doing this. I'm not in it for the money alone. All of you are just as important to me. So... peace? And I'll get back to the drawing board. Time to reset and make this happen because I know I have a good story here.

You will never please everyone, best thing is to be true to yourself and your vision. What should have been constructive criticism and debate turned into anger, fighting, and name calling. If anyone failed on this thread, it was the community for letting things get so out of hand.

 

[Meridian]

and his feeling might never change

Problem is they already have and its way too fast.

Right now we have main character who obviously at least liked Kath before(otherwise he wouldnt go from not liking her to "I love you" in span of first release) and Kath who always loved him(and he knew that). But instead of dating her main character choose to spend his free time(which he apparently didnt have lol) playing 250 porn games and jerk off while girl he liked hooked up with douchebag(s). This is just a frustrating mess. Main character professing his love to her so fast makes the whole not dating her before thing ridiculous.

Girls loves boy. Boy doesnt want to date for variety of reasons and rejects her. Girl explores other options. Boys mother die, girl is there to support him. Boy gradually falls for girl. This is much better and not frustrating at all.

 

[kantigura]

Problem is they already have and its way too fast.

Right now we have main character who obviously at least liked Kath before(otherwise he wouldnt go from not liking her to "I love you" in span of first release) and Kath who always loved him(and he knew that). But instead of dating her main character choose to spend his free time(which he apparently didnt have lol) playing 250 porn games and jerk off while girl he liked hooked up with douchebag(s). This is just a frustrating mess. Main character professing his love to her so fast makes the whole not dating her before thing ridiculous.

Girls loves boy. Boy doesnt want to date for variety of reasons and rejects her. Girl explores other options. Boys mother die, girl is there to support him. Boy gradually falls for girl. This is much better and not frustrating at all.

It would be nice if when they do meet up on the island, they actually sit down and talk it over and both get how they feel out in the open. It would be a great way to untangle the mess, and give them a sort of "let's start over" now that they are in this new place.

 

[Moleman111]

Pretty sure the members here have made it perfectly clear how they feel. There was no need to ask the public what they think. I have most of you trying to tell me how I should write it already. I know this is my first game and all, and I knew I wasn't going to be some big popular AVN star dev overnight, I don't claim to be a pro yet... but some comments here were just blatantly harsh. So yeah, I chose to ask those who already support me to give me their thoughts. I was advised not to let things here get to me, but they do. I don't just listen to my patrons either. I have read and listened to everything that has been said here and other places and taken notes of these things. I do not place more value on my patrons than you. After all, if I can transform some of you into fans, then who knows... you may decide to support also.
Obviously, I failed you guys on Kat. Some would disagree with you (and have)... which leg do I stand on here? Frankly... no matter how I approach this issue, someone won't be happy. I can't possibly please every person here. I will handle the situation as best I can in the next update. I am not sure how yet but have a few ideas. Taking Kat out of the story or even giving you the choice to leave her completely changes a ton of main plot stuff I had already written that no one knows about yet. So taking her out isn't really an option for me. But I can alter some things in the first release. Maybe clean up things a bit and set things in a direction most will be happy (happier) with. We'll see. Don't ever think I don't care what you think here just because I choose to ask patrons something. Its false. Remove the harsh attitudes from this end also... it serves no purpose but attempt to derail me and bring my spirits down. I love doing this. I'm not in it for the money alone. All of you are just as important to me. So... peace? And I'll get back to the drawing board. Time to reset and make this happen because I know I have a good story here.

That's all fine and it is your story and it's good that you're discussing your ideas and that's how you'll get better and grow as a dev and hang in there your game and story has potential but we can only critique on what we see and some people will be harsher than others but don't let it get ya down.

 

[Learsodin]

Pretty sure the members here have made it perfectly clear how they feel. There was no need to ask the public what they think. I have most of you trying to tell me how I should write it already. I know this is my first game and all, and I knew I wasn't going to be some big popular AVN star dev overnight, I don't claim to be a pro yet... but some comments here were just blatantly harsh. So yeah, I chose to ask those who already support me to give me their thoughts. I was advised not to let things here get to me, but they do. I don't just listen to my patrons either. I have read and listened to everything that has been said here and other places and taken notes of these things. I do not place more value on my patrons than you. After all, if I can transform some of you into fans, then who knows... you may decide to support also.
Obviously, I failed you guys on Kat. Some would disagree with you (and have)... which leg do I stand on here? Frankly... no matter how I approach this issue, someone won't be happy. I can't possibly please every person here. I will handle the situation as best I can in the next update. I am not sure how yet but have a few ideas. Taking Kat out of the story or even giving you the choice to leave her completely changes a ton of main plot stuff I had already written that no one knows about yet. So taking her out isn't really an option for me. But I can alter some things in the first release. Maybe clean up things a bit and set things in a direction most will be happy (happier) with. We'll see. Don't ever think I don't care what you think here just because I choose to ask patrons something. Its false. Remove the harsh attitudes from this end also... it serves no purpose but attempt to derail me and bring my spirits down. I love doing this. I'm not in it for the money alone. All of you are just as important to me. So... peace? And I'll get back to the drawing board. Time to reset and make this happen because I know I have a good story here.

just a sugestion, i don't think you need to take her out of the story you know, what about just adding an option to friendzoning her.

 

[paust.alex]

Some might call me an incel, but I prefer to think of myself as a neat and self-respecting person, and at least I'm not a cuckold who doesn't care.
As for this situation, there is a standard move that can explain everything. The girl loved the MC all her life, but he did not return her love, and now her despair has reached such an extent that she decided to put everything on the line and go all-in. deciding that if the hero does not pay attention to her even like this, she will drop her hands and go on. And to do this, she decided to play the role of a spoiled and experienced whore, although in fact not only she isn't experienced in sex, she did not even hold hands with guys (not counting the main character). This way everything will be explained and this character will not be so conflicted in terms of logic.