VN Ren'Py Completed Something to Write About: The Author [Ch. 7.1] [STWAdev]

4.40 star(s) 128 Votes

Soul_less327

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Dec 24, 2019
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great potential ruined by a mutant WTF cock..again..geezuz dev's..chill on the fucking slider....
I wouldn't go as far as to say it's ruined, hell the MC in The Visit has a dick this big and that game if fucking fantasitc, but yeah it is a bit much. The shaft should never be bigger than a can of Monster imho. In fact, I'd say that is the ideal dick size for an MC in a porn game, a shaft the size of a can of Monster..... someone write this down. :LOL:
 

Look-see

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Aug 19, 2018
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Hey all! As a long time lurker on the high seas I really appreciate the comments and criticism they really do help to grow and learn. I'll address some of the comments below, but I'll put them under a spoiler so you don't have to read a long ramble and can find what's important to you.

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i also liked this reply and appreciate the professionalism. i look forward to updates and the work. and good luck to you dev.
 
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Look-see

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Aug 19, 2018
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i got bored and decided to google how to pronoune Aoife. i know some if not most ppl wont look it up cause i myself forgot to look it up a few times so heres how you pronounce it.

ee + fa (English: Eva more or less).
 

MrFriendly

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Damn, booted this up and was excited to play it (that glorious planned content), but quickly found out that I didn't like any of the characters. Lyndie was probably the only one I didn't feel like throwing out of a window. Another MC that lacks any backbone...it gets old after a while. All the girls seem to be plot devices with no way of getting rid of them (I tried). The models look great (especially Lyndie) and the writing is really good however, I just could not finish it. I wish the dev all the success in the world, this game is just not for me.
Agreed, the character's need to be retooled a bit or something. So far we've met:

Kimberly, the slutty assistant who thinks that the best way to help someone she declares "broken" is to pick them up at a bar the night before she starts her job with that person. Then can't maintain a professional demeanor at all while working for him. Then hooks up for a lesbian tryst after tricking the MC into going to a bar where the student from his class is hanging out. I've never been more pissed off by a character. Hard Pass
Aoife, or however you spell her name. The typical blonde hot student who wants the professor to ignore ethics and fuck her. Considering the author hasn't written shit in years and a visiting professorship may be all he sees in his future you don't fuck the students. Pass
Beatrix, the skank who goes out to celebrate her two best friend's birthdays and hooks up with the author/professor's assistant, leaving the friends to make their way safely home, assuming that the professor is not some sick predatory asshole who takes advantage of drunk students. Pass
Lyndie, the artist in a hoodie that supposedly has a great body but has self esteem issues (seriously?). She is also the only person who gives a fuck about the author's work. Would be creepy to try and fuck your one groupie, how desperate are we supposed to be? Pass

The MC has the choice of being a passive fucktoy or a passive "mr dour", has some mysterious tragic past that he refuses to discuss with anyone and that we don't know about nor do we get even a hint, not even an image besides a black screen with text whenever it is brought up. And playing him as an ethical person who doesn't sleep with an aggressive woman he just met at a bar seems to be the wrong choice.

I like the renders and maybe there will be a character that isn't so annoying but I fear this game is going to go "sandbox" and ruin any chance to redeem itself.
 
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MuffinManWantsPregnancy

Say no to NTR and Fuck a Preggie girl
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Agreed, the character's need to be retooled a bit or something. So far we've met:

Kimberly, the slutty assistant who thinks that the best way to help someone she declares "broken" is to pick them up at a bar the night before she starts her job with that person. Then can't maintain a professional demeanor at all while working for him. Then hooks up for a lesbian tryst after tricking the MC into going to a bar where the student from his class is hanging out. I've never been more pissed off by a character. Hard Pass
Aoife, or however you spell her name. The typical blonde hot student who wants the professor to ignore ethics and fuck her. Considering the author hasn't written shit in years and a visiting professorship may be all he sees in his future you don't fuck the students. Pass
Beatrix, the skank who goes out to celebrate her two best friend's birthdays and hooks up with the author/professor's assistant, leaving the friends to make their way safely home, assuming that the professor is not some sick predatory asshole who takes advantage of drunk students. Pass
Lyndie, the artist in a hoodie that supposedly has a great body but has self esteem issues (seriously?). She is also the only person who gives a fuck about the author's work. Would be creepy to try and fuck your one groupie, how desperate are we supposed to be? Pass

The MC has the choice of being a passive fucktoy or a passive "mr dour", has some mysterious tragic past that he refuses to discuss with anyone and that we don't know about nor do we get even a hint, not even an image besides a black screen with text whenever it is brought up. And playing him as an ethical person who doesn't sleep with an aggressive woman he just met at a bar seems to be the wrong choice.

I like the renders and maybe there will be a character that isn't so annoying but I fear this game is going to go "sandbox" and ruin any chance to redeem itself.
Yeah even though I had a better time with the game the second time around, a lot of the characters are just off to me. Kim especially. I just really really hope the MC drops his balls and becomes more assertive and dominant. Which the dev said is the plan. I just hope it doesn't take 10 updates to happen. I probably wouldn't mind Bea that much if she didn't find someone like Kim attractive. I mean, if you're willing to bang a person like that, speaks a lot for your standards. My only issue with Aoife is that even though there's no VA'ing, her personality seems really loud and in your face and won't let you finish a sentence. Which I find annoying in people, but at the end of the day, it's something I can deal with. Lyndie is my favorite, her personality is really cliche with these kinds of games. Like I feel like I've seen a hundred character's just like her, which is my only gripe. But I am a sucker for goth/emo girls. So I kind of really like her. But yeah, even if Kim does have a redemption arc, she's gonna be at home fingering herself, while the MC is having a foursome. Lol. That whole thing where Kim takes the MC to go to the club or bar or whatever was just really uncomfortable and really hard to get through. I think because it seemed like every character but the MC had their own agenda during that entire scene.
 
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MrFriendly

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Yeah even though I had a better time with the game the second time around, a lot of the characters are just off to me. Kim especially. I just really really hope the MC drops his balls and becomes more assertive and dominant. Which the dev said is the plan. I just hope it doesn't take 10 updates to happen. I probably wouldn't mind Bea that much if she didn't find someone like Kim attractive. I mean, if you're willing to bang a person like that, speaks a lot for your standards. My only issue with Aoife is that even though there's no VA'ing, her personality seems really loud and in your face and won't let you finish a sentence. Which I find annoying in people, but at the end of the day, it's something I can deal with. Lyndie is my favorite, her personality is really cliche with these kinds of games. Like I feel like I've seen a hundred character's just like her, which is my only gripe. But I am a sucker for goth/emo girls. So I kind of really like her. But yeah, even if Kim does have a redemption arc, she's gonna be at home fingering herself, while the MC is having a foursome. Lol. That whole thing where Kim takes the MC to go to the club or bar or whatever was just really uncomfortable and really hard to get through. I think because it seemed like every character but the MC had their own agenda during that entire scene.
I just don't understand how the Dev thinks that Kim is at all redeemable. The behavior as written is psychotic, anyone who isn't a passive cripple (like the MC) is going to call the publisher and get her replaced. She believes that nearly forcing herself onto the MC is a good idea the night before she shows up for her job. LOL Seriously? That's disgusting.

I agree about Bea, she shows questionable judgement in hooking up with Kim. Not a very attractive looking character in my opinion. I just don't like people who ditch their friends on their birthdays for casual sex with a stranger. And the fact that her friends are so used to her lack of loyalty<SMH>.

Aoife has a more interesting name than anything else, seems very vanilla in terms of characterization. No depth whatsoever.

Lyndie is the best by process of elimination but, as you said, characters like her are in nearly every game. The geeky/artistic emo chick who isn't confident about her body and needs the MC to draw her out of her shell with niceness and flattery (LOL). I understand about having a type, I am a sucker for redheads (currently Shannon from Unleashed).

I've never played a VN where I actually wanted to play a MC who stays celibate but so far these lackluster choices have me choosing to be a Monk, especially if the MC is going to be as passive and fucked up as he seems to be. If he is so "broken" then perhaps Kim should suggest counseling instead of cheap meaningless sex with college students or his new assistant.
 

Glooskabe

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I just don't understand how the Dev thinks that Kim is at all redeemable. The behavior as written is psychotic, anyone who isn't a passive cripple (like the MC) is going to call the publisher and get her replaced. She believes that nearly forcing herself onto the MC is a good idea the night before she shows up for her job. LOL Seriously? That's disgusting.
I have a theory about this based partly on what Dev has written above about her. How she is acting may be directly related to her brokenness and may not be a real reflection of her true self. In other words, she wants MC to like her and she is acting how she thinks he would like and find attractive.

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So, anyway, this is all just conjecture on my part at the moment. Only sharing to see if I can influence the haters to stick around for an update or two to see how things develop. It could still end up being a trainwreck, of course, but what else do we have to do for the next couple of months? :unsure:
 
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MrFriendly

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I have a theory about this based partly on what Dev has written above about her. How she is acting may be directly related to her brokenness and may not be a real reflection of her true self. In other words, she wants MC to like her and she is acting how she thinks he would like and find attractive.

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

So, anyway, this is all just conjecture on my part at the moment. Only sharing to see if I can influence the haters to stick around for an update or two to see how things develop. It could still end up being a trainwreck, of course, but what else do we have to do for the next couple of months? :unsure:
I really hope you are right. I liked the premise of the VN, it wasn't the typical setup, but I was turned off by the female characters. Honestly, the first lewd game that I have played and had no sex with anyone because none of the options appealed and I found them so off-putting.

I also am not a fan of playing from a first person perspective ("being the character") and not knowing my own tragic past without amnesia being a plot point. Especially the "unknown voice" that calls the MC and is recognized by him but we don't get to know who or why.

Hopefully this will turn around in subsequent updates.
 
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botc76

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Lol. It's always funny how many guys here instantly hate any woman who embraces her sexuality and can take the lead. IDK if you realize how incredibly insecure you seem to be with that behaviour.
I don't like playing a sub, but that's not really what's happening. Kim is just being assertive and IMO a lot of what she does has actually to do with trying to help the MC out of the ditch he found himself in.

I too find her behaviour annoying a few times, but when I thought about it, I realized there's a reason behind it (and it's not that she's crazy or wants to dom the MC)
 

botc76

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I was positively surprised by this first chapter.
The story is well written, the girls are beautiful and despite what some here in the thread write, they aren't at all that cliched, but one or two of them are rather rare breeds.

All in all I'm looking forward to the next version and hope this game gets finished and doesn't die an early death.
 
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BaasB

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Well it's much later than I'd like but Ch.2 has finally arrived.
Changelog:
An additional 430 renders (give or take.)
2 scenes of ill repute
Changes to a certain anatomical anomaly of our main character.
Small back end changes to make things a bit more clean.
File is decently large so you may decide to wait for a compression, I promise I won't be offended.

Thank you all for your patience while I worked through illness, a loss of over half my renders (remember to back up your work kids!) and a very busy schedule. Let me know if my tester or I missed any major bugs or horrible misspellings and I'll get them sorted ASAP!

PC:
Mac:
 

MrFriendly

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Well it's much later than I'd like but Ch.2 has finally arrived.
Changelog:
An additional 430 renders (give or take.)
2 scenes of ill repute
Changes to a certain anatomical anomaly of our main character.
Small back end changes to make things a bit more clean.
File is decently large so you may decide to wait for a compression, I promise I won't be offended.

Thank you all for your patience while I worked through illness, a loss of over half my renders (remember to back up your work kids!) and a very busy schedule. Let me know if my tester or I missed any major bugs or horrible misspellings and I'll get them sorted ASAP!

PC: Mega
Mac: Mega
Hey, glad to hear you are feeling better and were able to take time to heal. So sorry that you lost so much work, having just started looking at getting into the developer side that sounds like a lot of hard work got lost.

Alright, so I played through the entire game again and it definitely has improved. My concerns still remain regarding the assistant and her attitude and not finding any of the girls that attractive. Aside from that the MC's name should appear over the textbox so we know he is talking. I don't know if that is an error/glitch or just odd decision but it feels weird.
As for the content of Chapter 2, having the MC lose his job right after introducing it the previous chapter felt abrupt. The scenes felt too short, it would have been nice to engage in a bit more conversation with each of the girls so we could get to know them better.
I went through the game and fucked everyone as the game offered them and the writing is much better than if you choose not to be intimate with people. Almost to the point where it seems unnecessary to have the option to turn people down. It doesn't seem like the writer anticipates the fact that someone would say no to the ladies, while I was trying to "roleplay" a tragic recluse who doesn't suddenly pull his dick out when asked. You get to know a lot more about everyone. However the assistant is still mentally unbalanced to the point that the MC should be trying to find her a therapist. She seems like she might try to harm herself.
Overall, it is getting better, the language is sharper, the characters are slowly developing personalities. I'm intrigued to know who Chris is and hope that the player will get more information as to why the MC hates her so much. Flash back next update too? There are definite improvements every chapter, I am excited to see what you are able to accomplish as you continue to learn.
 
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ThunderRob

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May 10, 2018
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ok..now this is top shelf stuff..ya fixed his insane peepee and made him human..the writing is fantastic...and Lyndie is awesome AF...adorable beauty nerdchick...everyman's dream...great game..highly recommend this to folks who enjoy good writing and hot dames.
 
4.40 star(s) 128 Votes