VN Ren'Py Abandoned Sorrow: Rebirth [v0.99] [LustFight]

3.50 star(s) 6 Votes
Discussion Reviews (6)

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tuShua

tuShua

Well-Known Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,164
851
Kinch310 said:
Below is the review I wrote that the Dev asked me to remove. Sister? What? When I felt bad for him and added an edit at the end and moved my rating from 1 to 3 stars, he reported the review and had it removed. I bent over backward, giving this guy the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, not anymore. I emailed the mods, we'll see, but my review will likely go back up. In case it doesn't, here it is. One star. I don't feel bad anymore.


First things first. The developer deserves credit and praise for his willingness to clean the slate and start fresh. That is the hardest thing to do as an artist and content creator. It's almost impossible not to be defensive and sensitive when our hard work is criticized. But this willingness to embrace criticism when it's fair is essential to success as a creator.

This is a remake of a game criticized primarily for its uninspired and clunky use of the English language. That's why I was disappointed to find a spelling error in the first sentence of the game. We recently attended "collge." Why our returning from college is essential to the story is unclear as of yet. (Dev, when you tell a story, be aware of Chekov's gun--every detail you take the time to mention should be meaningful. ESPECIALLY DETAILS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO INCLUDE IN THE FIRST SENTENCE.) We return home and are confronted with a disturbing turn of events. People in our community have been disappearing.

This might horrify and cause enormous unease for you or me. For the MC? Old news. When his friend calls to warn him that the town has changed since he left (people occasionally vanish now), the MC reassures his friend that he's heard the news. Obviously?! What? Does his friend think he's an idiot? That would be like not having heard about "the covid." (Direct quote on the last part.)

My journey through the novel ended there. The Dev is adamant that he has used a professional translator and editor. Given the misspellings and awful writing in the first bit of dialogue, I have doubts about that.

It's a shame because the renders are great, and the idea of people mysteriously vanishing isn't a trope you often see on this site.

Unfortunately, the writing in this post has undergone closer editing than this game. And that isn't forgivable in a remake.
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are you sure it's the dev that reported your review? Even tho the dev is the one who asked you to remove? I'm not defending the dev or anything, im just asking. Spelling errors, just as you said, these are sometimes unavoidable tho I do agree that someone could've took the time to clean them up. But in case someone missed it, it's also proper that someone reports it for a heads up in order to be cleaned next update. Even I make spelling errors when typing so fast, then noticed it late once I've sent it or finished it. Like for example if I type a sentence quickly and include the word "sex", my brain thinks I typed it correctly, then when I reread it, it was spelled "sxe" as if my fingers just jumbled themselves. So all we can do is just wait til the next update and see how it goes. Spelling errors really aren't that big of a deal if you think about it. Just practice to be open minded. Wait for the next update, then you can write another review if the errors were corrected or not
 
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tuShua

tuShua

Well-Known Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,164
851
Regarding the English tho, if you do have an editor working with you, it's not that bad to begin with. If anything it's just some spelling errors here and there. but it's not THAT bad. But again, some spelling errors can lead to grammar problems as well, even if it's just one letter. So please never forget to double check everything. You can have the editor write it in a paper, or write it in notepad or even in word. double check everything before applying them in game. In fact, you could even ask help from the people here who play the game. Don't mind the people that will just suddenly attack you, just ask and people can give a list on areas that have errors. Don't be afraid of mistakes, every mistake is a chance to learn something new, and then use that to improve. Don't be afraid to ask, you won't lose anything here, trust me. Just a suggestion for future updates
 
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Byczer

Byczer

Well-Known Member
Feb 1, 2020
1,152
1,390
This game is definitely fun to read lol

Rose is best girl
 
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Before I Forget

Before I Forget

Well-Known Member
Sep 4, 2021
1,053
2,887
tuShua said:
Regarding the English tho, if you do have an editor working with you, it's not that bad to begin with. If anything it's just some spelling errors here and there. but it's not THAT bad. But again, some spelling errors can lead to grammar problems as well, even if it's just one letter. So please never forget to double check everything. You can have the editor write it in a paper, or write it in notepad or even in word. double check everything before applying them in game. In fact, you could even ask help from the people here who play the game. Don't mind the people that will just suddenly attack you, just ask and people can give a list on areas that have errors. Don't be afraid of mistakes, every mistake is a chance to learn something new, and then use that to improve. Don't be afraid to ask, you won't lose anything here, trust me. Just a suggestion for future updates
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I'm sure it's not that hard, I'm sure there's proofreaders/editors or whatever you call them out there that are open to helping. It does help if you highlight the errors versus just getting angry and lashing out at the Dev. I played this version it's much better compared to the original, that last version was bad to where I couldn't even follow the story. This time around it's more laid out, I did notice a few errors here and there but it's not enough to bash to Dev about. If anyone feels they can do a better job then step up, sometimes a fresh set of eyes helps. I'll highlight every error I see from now on and pass it to the Dev.
 
Samu Al Hydit

Samu Al Hydit

Well-Known Member
May 16, 2019
1,788
2,395
Before I Forget said:
I'm sure it's not that hard, I'm sure there's proofreaders/editors or whatever you call them out there that are open to helping. It does help if you highlight the errors versus just getting angry and lashing out at the Dev. I played this version it's much better compared to the original, that last version was bad to where I couldn't even follow the story. This time around it's more laid out, I did notice a few errors here and there but it's not enough to bash to Dev about. If anyone feels they can do a better job then step up, sometimes a fresh set of eyes helps. I'll highlight every error I see from now on and pass it to the Dev.
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He's just giving critical advices mate, not lashing out.
 
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bobdillan

bobdillan

Forum Fanatic
Nov 18, 2016
4,168
9,447
LustFight
Curious if the comments about mutliple protag is a thing or not? like i know this is a remake now so that may have been changed. So basically will this be a multiple protag game?

If it is still a thing would you be able to elaborate on it at all?
 
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LustFight

LustFight

Sorrow / Joy
Game Developer
Mar 2, 2020
722
2,314
bobdillan said:
LustFight
Curious if the comments about mutliple protag is a thing or not? like i know this is a remake now so that may have been changed. So basically will this be a multiple protag game?

If it is still a thing would you be able to elaborate on it at all?
Click to expand...
Ignore this tag
 
dotbosam

dotbosam

New Member
Oct 4, 2020
3
3
testpattern said:
Yeah, that font really sucks
Click to expand...
I wouldn't say it sucks but it does not help for an easy reading.
But you can reset it to the default font if you really want to, that's what I have done.

Create and insert a file named zFont.rpy inside the game folder with:

Python: 
# Default Ren'Py font is DejaVuSans
# Another choice that is available is "arial.ttf"

define default_font = "DejaVuSans.ttf"

define gui.text_font = default_font
define gui.name_text_font = default_font
define gui.interface_text_font = default_font
Maybe the dev should give us an easy way to change it in the settings, instead?

Edit: This only fixes the font used for dialogs, not the interface or the choices - but that'll do for me. If anyone wants to improve upon it, feel free to do so!
 
D

Derporito

New Member
Jun 16, 2019
8
11
I like the premise but with the spelling and grammar errors, it's difficult to read. On top of that, I feel there is too much bouncing from past and present. I lost the plot very quickly and lost interest. Improving the flow would do wonders with this game.
 
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H

Hornyowl

Active Member
Jun 4, 2020
712
639
I've read what other players have said about the spelling and grammar errors and I agree with them. However, it goes beyond that. The dialogue is poorly constructed i.e. when reading what a character has to say there is an ambiguity in the expressions used that allow for contradictory interpretations. This in turn creates gaps where it appears that the character is speaking aimlessly, with dialogue that is jumping all over the place. That's the first impression I got, for example, when first interacting with Victoria at her house. This comes from a non-native English speaker using translation software which simply does not take contextual usage of words into account.

Get.a.proofreader/editor. Or else you end up will remaking a game with the same errors as the original.
 
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3.50 star(s) 6 Votes