A bug of sorts: is Gerald the first name (given name) or the last?
For example, sailors call him Leutenant Gerald, so it must be the last name. On the other hand, Gerald is used as obviously first name, e.g. "my father Gerald" etc. And when Sis explained why she haven't found the MC earlier, they say the (Gerald's & MC's) last name is as widespread as Smith or Brown.
So it needs to be corrected I think, the last name should not be Gerald.
The difference is level of writing. It is like comparing a short story to a full novel. Both are valid ways of telling a story. You call it bloating, but others don't. That example dialogue you used is a valid thing for someone to ask in a story. MrDots favours the longer story telling found in novels, others prefer the short story style. Neither are wrong.
Well, I have to say two things.
Different forms of discourse have different specifics (like prose and poetry are usually quite different). Visual novel — even though it's called novel — has distinct specifics, very different from traditional novel.
Secondly, and most importantly, how do you think: is there a way to judge, what sentence is appropriate or desirable in the text, and which is not?
To me it's very clear that if a sentence doesn't add any new information or emotional energy etc., then it's just wasted words. Even though Leo Tolstoy, Marcel Proust, etc. etc. were great writers in some regards, they were sometimes too wordy and boring, because they didn't quite understand that; they let the text carry their writing on and on. It's like playing basketball you make some movements too long due to inertial forces; you would be a better sportsman if you wouldn't let them carry your body farther than necessary.
Though I admit that eloquent stile of this game has its benefits, allowing to tell more about psychology, meditation, management etc. So anyways it's a great game.
