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4.50 star(s) 59 Votes

Chaosborn

God of the Chaosborn
Game Developer
Jan 25, 2020
898
785
He was just there as a plot device to show the MC's softer side.

They are a specialised unit, even if he was to join them it would be after many years service. No recruit would join a unit like theirs especially one only just sent to basic training.

Maybe if the game skipped forward 20 years.
yea just mentioned that my main issue is the ending though kinda expected more since they were talking about meet me there and there... you know story was great etc just wish the ending was a bit longer
 

Talothral

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Jul 8, 2020
1,330
6,189
Talothral Is this game finished just wondering cause i feel the ending isnt finished at all ? he goes to sleep with chiel and the game stops ? while he promises to meet all the girls later etc i'm kinda confused... also some aspects didnt reocur like the kid with the blue hair or something evetually joining or the girl in the tank still sleeping is this finished or ?
I'm so going to break my late editors advice, if ending leaves questions don't explain it. But then again he is dead so... That isn't exactly the original ending either, the original unpublished manuscript ended when Garrett fell to the floor in labs. That would have been the original ending. What comes after is some sort of epilogue and visit to people he cared for (or cared for him) to show he was alive. On a hindsight yeah it should have been longer.

As for Sage, I thought I mentioned that she was busy with something. Or maybe not. My bad. But ending is currently the ending for now, bit more bellow.

I really enjoyed it but will agree that ending came out of nowhere.

Everything before it was fantastic, just gonna hope it gets a sequel one day.
And yes, there are a manuscripts existing for sequel(s) and prequels. And sequel is coming down the road but as I said earlier I need get few assets first, not as easy as they don't exist at the moment in any of the stores I shop at. And I need to translate it, which takes time.

Also for my own mental health I need to work on something else for a while, and working with that other project allows me to the time to either rewrite the parts that needs assets that I don't have to fit assets that I have or can get, or get someone I know to make them, if and when he has time to do them on top of his normal work.

I haven't had my gallon of coffee as of yet so I might come as bit blunt so sorry for that. I'm extremely grateful to everyone who has tried and played what I made. And I'm even more grateful of the feedback I've received.
 

-Hex-

Purging Heresy
Donor
Compressor
Sep 18, 2017
1,656
9,031
Good story, but waiting till the last possible moment to let me know I made a wrong choice, SOMEWHERE, at some random point in the story is ridiculous. If your game can't be played without a walkthrough then you made it wrong.
I played it without a WT and i think i got a fairly good ending?
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Now the only thing that's missing is a sequel with the same characters that continue the story
 

Manaflask

Newbie
Jul 31, 2018
69
42
And yes, there are a manuscripts existing for sequel(s) and prequels. And sequel is coming down the road but as I said earlier I need get few assets first, not as easy as they don't exist at the moment in any of the stores I shop at. And I need to translate it, which takes time.

Also for my own mental health I need to work on something else for a while, and working with that other project allows me to the time to either rewrite the parts that needs assets that I don't have to fit assets that I have or can get, or get someone I know to make them, if and when he has time to do them on top of his normal work.

I haven't had my gallon of coffee as of yet so I might come as bit blunt so sorry for that. I'm extremely grateful to everyone who has tried and played what I made. And I'm even more grateful of the feedback I've received.
So you basically need just a bunch of assets? I guess there is some free things out there, unless we are talking about something more original, also you can edit some them for anything you will need ( but I guess you know that already) Iam still an amateur about modeling so I know how much works has to be done. Part of the feedback I want to add, is I dunno it was intended using static cameras and not trying different angles. It feel as well there is no a clear image how the station is: is floating in space in the middle of the nothing? there a planet near? an star? is floating in an asteroid field? so that add some taste of claustrophobic feel than probably is intended maybe not.
One of the big reasons I like a lot this story, is it give me a feel of something I was thinking long time ago.

I still playing with a good cup of coffee
 

Talothral

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Jul 8, 2020
1,330
6,189
So you basically need just a bunch of assets? I guess there is some free things out there, unless we are talking about something more original, also you can edit some them for anything you will need ( but I guess you know that already) Iam still an amateur about modeling so I know how much works has to be done. Part of the feedback I want to add, is I dunno it was intended using static cameras and not trying different angles. It feel as well there is no a clear image how the station is: is floating in space in the middle of the nothing? there a planet near? an star? is floating in an asteroid field? so that add some taste of claustrophobic feel than probably is intended maybe not.
One of the big reasons I like a lot this story, is it give me a feel of something I was thinking long time ago.

I still playing with a good cup of coffee
It is a question of something more original, there isn't something close enough for it as of right now and yeah I searched when I started doing this, still do bi-weekly. But that is least of concerns as I can rewrite it if I can't get the assets to my liking, the more larger concern is the translation. This particular story was around 200k words, with scene descriptions, and after removing the scene descriptions and few largely irrelevant scenes it dropped down to 140k words, give or take. The sequel is 300k words written on stack A4 papers with a bloody typewriter made by Singer, that should tell you how old some of these scripts are. And it is unedited as well since it was never really meant to be published. At least back then. So depending on how many scenes I feel isn't needed or don't fit, it probably drops to somewhere 200k or 250k words.

And the one that comes after that is only 200k again, but it is larger time jump as it features the son of Chiel and Garrett as main character.

As far as the station goes, it's more of old colony ship that broke down between star systems. And when they got stuck in that location with no help arriving any time soon, the population back then just started to expanding and modifying the structure, so it is a bit of a maze now. Thus the claustrophobic feel is intended, and largely enhanced by the way I built the sets. And for the record, the corridors were too wide (and too high) for my liking, but wider corridors and larger rooms made it easier to get enough light in the room until I managed to sort the lighting so I didn't need HDRI to bring light. And the result is that occasionally weird angles happened, but the other angles I tried didn't give me the shot I wanted.

Of course, going first person would have been option but I really didn't like it, as it isn't my story, but Garrett's if that makes sense?
 

Chaosborn

God of the Chaosborn
Game Developer
Jan 25, 2020
898
785
I'm so going to break my late editors advice, if ending leaves questions don't explain it. But then again he is dead so... That isn't exactly the original ending either, the original unpublished manuscript ended when Garrett fell to the floor in labs. That would have been the original ending. What comes after is some sort of epilogue and visit to people he cared for (or cared for him) to show he was alive. On a hindsight yeah it should have been longer.

As for Sage, I thought I mentioned that she was busy with something. Or maybe not. My bad. But ending is currently the ending for now, bit more bellow.


And yes, there are a manuscripts existing for sequel(s) and prequels. And sequel is coming down the road but as I said earlier I need get few assets first, not as easy as they don't exist at the moment in any of the stores I shop at. And I need to translate it, which takes time.

Also for my own mental health I need to work on something else for a while, and working with that other project allows me to the time to either rewrite the parts that needs assets that I don't have to fit assets that I have or can get, or get someone I know to make them, if and when he has time to do them on top of his normal work.

I haven't had my gallon of coffee as of yet so I might come as bit blunt so sorry for that. I'm extremely grateful to everyone who has tried and played what I made. And I'm even more grateful of the feedback I've received.
No need to worry if u are planning sequal i was just a bit confused cause of the ending like honestly the game overall was really great the models of the aliens the storyline were really great so ! overal very happy and looking forwards to more of your work honestly! thanks for replying btw :)
 
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Manaflask

Newbie
Jul 31, 2018
69
42
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So I think you need someone who can do a concept art after he reads the description them, do the models using the concept art them if it fits your description, you can organize the scenes and create the renders and I can understand alot of thing get striped for the sake of advancement.

About the cameras you can try to read a little about camera shots used in movies, those are used as well in comics, but all the depends how much you want to improve your game, this is tons of research and work.

Well I do like the big mega structures in this kin of setting (examples like the Cyber Dungeon from Blame!, or the Necromunda hive planets from 40k
 

GrammerCop

Well-Known Member
Donor
Mar 15, 2020
1,823
1,785
I'm so going to break my late editors advice, if ending leaves questions don't explain it. But then again he is dead so... That isn't exactly the original ending either, the original unpublished manuscript ended when Garrett fell to the floor in labs. That would have been the original ending. What comes after is some sort of epilogue and visit to people he cared for (or cared for him) to show he was alive. On a hindsight yeah it should have been longer.

I haven't had my gallon of coffee as of yet so I might come as bit blunt so sorry for that. I'm extremely grateful to everyone who has tried and played what I made. And I'm even more grateful of the feedback I've received.
 

GrammerCop

Well-Known Member
Donor
Mar 15, 2020
1,823
1,785
I'm so going to break my late editors advice, if ending leaves questions don't explain it. But then again he is dead so... That isn't exactly the original ending either, the original unpublished manuscript ended when Garrett fell to the floor in labs. That would have been the original ending. What comes after is some sort of epilogue and visit to people he cared for (or cared for him) to show he was alive. On a hindsight yeah it should have been longer.

As for Sage, I thought I mentioned that she was busy with something. Or maybe not. My bad. But ending is currently the ending for now, bit more bellow.


And yes, there are a manuscripts existing for sequel(s) and prequels. And sequel is coming down the road but as I said earlier I need get few assets first, not as easy as they don't exist at the moment in any of the stores I shop at. And I need to translate it, which takes time.

Also for my own mental health I need to work on something else for a while, and working with that other project allows me to the time to either rewrite the parts that needs assets that I don't have to fit assets that I have or can get, or get someone I know to make them, if and when he has time to do them on top of his normal work.

I haven't had my gallon of coffee as of yet so I might come as bit blunt so sorry for that. I'm extremely grateful to everyone who has tried and played what I made. And I'm even more grateful of the feedback I've received.
Well. I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I know a lot of people on this site are just looking for fap material, But I think it is important for there to be at least some kind of story, no matter how common it may be (Big Brother, etc.). And the story offered in this game is better than most that I have seen.

I formally state, for the record, this is one of the best stories I have ever seen, with or without sex scenes.
 
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Avaron1974

Resident Lesbian
Aug 22, 2018
25,741
88,630
I just played the ending part again just to check and thinking about it, I can't complain.

Sure it's short and gets straight to the point but all loose threads for that particular story have been tied up and aside from possibly spending more time with the girls it gets the job done and ends on a happy note with him and Chiel cuddled up.

It's left the lager story open for a sequel the dev has hinted might come one day but it closed this one off okay.

Sure a story and characters as good as this deserves a longer ending but i'm happy enough overall to call this one a good game and a win.

As for everybody else, including Avaron1974, I formally state, for the record, this is one of the best stories I have ever seen, with or without sex scenes.
Already gave the game 5 star review.

The ending was the only part that gave me cause for concern but after rewatching it, it's not the best ending but it does the job and ends well enough.
 
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Talothral

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Jul 8, 2020
1,330
6,189
So I think you need someone who can do a concept art after he reads the description them, do the models using the concept art them if it fits your description, you can organize the scenes and create the renders and I can understand alot of thing get striped for the sake of advancement.

About the cameras you can try to read a little about camera shots used in movies, those are used as well in comics, but all the depends how much you want to improve your game, this is tons of research and work.

Well I do like the big mega structures in this kin of setting (examples like the Cyber Dungeon from Blame!, or the Necromunda hive planets from 40k
I was supposed to respond last night but my body decided that it was time for 12 hour nap. Anyway without getting too much off-topic. In ideal world yes there is a benefit having a concept artist, and modeler who could translate the concept in to assets. But reality is, easier to work with what you can find since I know the cost what some of the assets would cost to create, and probably would cause my poor computer to explode.

As for the cameras, I'll look into it, how much it changes I don't know, but after few tries on the next renders it works on some scenes and in some not so much. But I'll adapt what I learn to something I like.

And as for the ship/station, I dug the original manuscript up and I quote "Corellian corvette, about 20 times bigger and someone tried to make a Borg cube out of it, and completely failed." That even today conjures the image I had in mind for it. Also that was just mostly for my own reference as I never actually wrote what the station actually looked like as it was never to be "seen" from the outside, except in one or two passing mentions. And again to quote my late editor: "Don't fill your pages with pointless crap, no one will care what the fucking thing looks like so just erase it and write again."
 

Kitchentable

Active Member
Aug 13, 2018
664
1,140
The scene settings reminded me a bit of theatre. There you gotta work with
a background picture and a few props on stage to create the current invornment.

It's not about the visuals it's about the story.
And oh boy, this one here just got one great and captivating story. Could quote Avaron's complete review here.
And not just the story itself, the story telling too. It kinda accelerates and doesn't stop until the end.
No running idle. Just really good.




On a side note I find that more often than not, leaving things to ones imagination is the better way to go.
I am aware that it doesn't work for everyone tho. But I am old and we only had books and the
movies had handdrawn backgrounds and tiny spaceship models on wires.
 
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Nightless

Active Member
Jan 13, 2018
617
645
Really beautiful world and adventure you created there. And mostly I don't like the male character but yours truely felt good for me. Overall really great trip, could not stop playing :) But I have to agree...Ending came too fast and would have liked to see all the females at least again and just a bit more. But yeah cant wait what you will make next. :) Thanks
 
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randomhelix

Newbie
Jul 7, 2018
29
21
Came for a fap but ended up enjoying the plot that I skipped through the sex scenes. Though the ending seemed to be rushed I actually loved the world building in this one. The effort to give each alien race some sort of background and history was really nice. Makes me wish there was a sequel.
 

bighunter

Member
Apr 3, 2018
135
142
hmm i didnt manage to save station ? what did i do wrong? soo if i play with walkthroo i manage to come to the end of game?
 
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rick87

Active Member
Jul 16, 2017
535
2,779
@Talothral i really enjoyed your game, to me it's easily the best sci-fi story i played on this site. the only critique i have is that it could have used some good quality animations, specially for the fighting scenes.
 
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Talothral

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Jul 8, 2020
1,330
6,189
@Talothral i really enjoyed your game, to me it's easily the best sci-fi story i played on this site. the only critique i have is that it could have used some good quality animations, specially for the fighting scenes.
Yeah... would be nice, but unfortunately not going to happen in foreseeable future I'm afraid. I only have one computer to work with (and few spare parts in case of a malfunction) and animations simply take too long to produce in decent quality. And I rather would move the story forward with image sequences then sit and wait for a month for 5 to 10 minutes of animation. Not that I'm that great of animator to begin with. And of course the image sequences themselves can be improved by adding new images if need be, and better posing on my part, which I'll try to improve.

And as for others who have posted, sorry been busy doing the next VN and one scene left, coding, testing and then I can have another mild panic attack and push the first version out there, with small delay before going public, sorry local laws are bit annoying. But in mean time I'll keep my eye on this thread and respond in more or less timely fashion, in couple days, or eventually, which ever may come first. ;)
 

Chaosborn

God of the Chaosborn
Game Developer
Jan 25, 2020
898
785
Came for a fap but ended up enjoying the plot that I skipped through the sex scenes. Though the ending seemed to be rushed I actually loved the world building in this one. The effort to give each alien race some sort of background and history was really nice. Makes me wish there was a sequel.
patience for the sequal honestly in how good the story was not to mention the models of the aliens i really can't wait for the sequal...
 
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4.50 star(s) 59 Votes