VN Ren'Py Under the Moonlight [v0.3] [M.C Games]

2.30 star(s) 3 Votes

motseer

Engaged Member
Dec 17, 2021
2,318
5,192
Update here, update there. Everywhere an update!
cheer.gif
I hear there's been some major rework... gonna start at the beginning and check it all out...
 
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Mystic

Elleria - Developer
Moderator
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Game Developer
Nov 24, 2019
1,888
4,141
Update here, update there. Everywhere an update!
View attachment 3187814
I hear there's been some major rework... gonna start at the beginning and check it all out...
Yus! Sure as heck incorporated your idea, so thanks once again for that. Hope you find it more satisfactory this time round!
 

RDFozz

Active Member
Apr 1, 2022
805
1,100
So, Under the Moonlight, eh?

Well, I doesn't look (after a quick search) that no one's asked the most important question.

Is it serious moonlight?
 
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Mystic

Elleria - Developer
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Nov 24, 2019
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So, Under the Moonlight, eh?

Well, I doesn't look (after a quick search) that no one's asked the most important question.

Is it serious moonlight?
Yes, very shiny, serious and deadly one I'm afraid. Don't stay under it for too long bro.
 

motseer

Engaged Member
Dec 17, 2021
2,318
5,192
I had a conversation with Mystic shortly after the initial release of the prologue in which I suggested combining the "extra" or "background" content directly into the story. That has been done with this release and I think it is an improvement. I get a good feel for the character by the end of the prologue. Actually, long before. By the end, it felt like 50,000 words to describe a pathetic loser... about 40,000 words too many.

"I am a man of constant sorrow, I've seen trouble all of my days." R. D. Burnett

MC drinks a lot... no MC goes to bars to not get served by the genx ditsy barmaid, called a racist by a black racist and verbally abused by a leprechaun. Somehow, though, he comes out of it with a new job. Over the next two weeks he gets to know a model who is really a banshee, has a lot of really strange dreams and ultimately meets and makes a pact with the goddess Bastet.

In chapter 1 he gets told to grow up and learn to watch out for himself by his "protectress" goddess, gets drug across a library and shoved up against a wall at knife point by a dyke blonde and moved to a new apartment for his own protection only to be accosted by the same blonde dyke the first night he's there.

That's as far as I got, Mystic. Sorry. The art, while a little dark in places, is good. The models are hot. The writing is decent but could use some polish. The story may develop into something I could get into but the MC is just not for me. Grow him 4", put 50 pounds on him and, for goddess sake give him a spine! Oh, and get rid of that shirt that went out of style in 1957. Jus' Sayin':cool:
 

Mystic

Elleria - Developer
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Game Developer
Nov 24, 2019
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I had a conversation with Mystic shortly after the initial release of the prologue in which I suggested combining the "extra" or "background" content directly into the story. That has been done with this release and I think it is an improvement. I get a good feel for the character by the end of the prologue. Actually, long before. By the end, it felt like 50,000 words to describe a pathetic loser... about 40,000 words too many.

"I am a man of constant sorrow, I've seen trouble all of my days." R. D. Burnett

MC drinks a lot... no MC goes to bars to not get served by the genx ditsy barmaid, called a racist by a black racist and verbally abused by a leprechaun. Somehow, though, he comes out of it with a new job. Over the next two weeks he gets to know a model who is really a banshee, has a lot of really strange dreams and ultimately meets and makes a pact with the goddess Bastet.

In chapter 1 he gets told to grow up and learn to watch out for himself by his "protectress" goddess, gets drug across a library and shoved up against a wall at knife point by a dyke blonde and moved to a new apartment for his own protection only to be accosted by the same blonde dyke the first night he's there.

That's as far as I got, Mystic. Sorry. The art, while a little dark in places, is good. The models are hot. The writing is decent but could use some polish. The story may develop into something I could get into but the MC is just not for me. Grow him 4", put 50 pounds on him and, for goddess sake give him a spine! Oh, and get rid of that shirt that went out of style in 1957. Jus' Sayin':cool:
At least that's what I call decent feedback. So, thanks a bunch for taking your time to get me some. And yep, I'm on it already. Sadly I'll say that the scope of the story is kinda gigantic, and I simply can't do it otherwise atm.

I also understand your opinion on the main character, and while that is perfectly justifiable that you don't find him... well... on your end? I honestly won't go back and rewrite this particular chapter part, cause I'm trying to go a bit for realism. As much as it allows me anyways, and if I am of thought that a random person now a days would find out such a thing. Yeah.

You'd be scared shitless, and no, you wouldn't be some heroic muscled freak. That's not how it works, and that's a fact no one can counter me at. Unless you're a superman of course.


Either way, stories take time to develop and so do characters. I'm kinda at the start so that's all I can say for the moment. Anyways, thanks once again for time and feedback that's actually useful to me.
 

mandudeman

Newbie
May 28, 2021
61
125
Good Luck.

Spineless MC and a Case of Forced Interactions where the choices given don't make any logical difference with the outcome......
You say this and this happens, you say the opposite and same thing still happens so you Might as well call it a Kinetic at this point.

Also like another person said "50,000 words just to say the MC is a loser" seems like you don't know how to actually expand a char without endless dialog which has no real bearing on the game aside micro tidbits which are so buried in that if you skip text you will miss it and have to weed threw pages and pages of text to find it again.

Again good Luck But maybe rethink the plan of action because it seems you are more worried on the LONG conversations of the Chars instead of well MC Self developmental growth and actual plot.
 

Mystic

Elleria - Developer
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Nov 24, 2019
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Good Luck.

Spineless MC and a Case of Forced Interactions where the choices given don't make any logical difference with the outcome......
You say this and this happens, you say the opposite and same thing still happens so you Might as well call it a Kinetic at this point.

Also like another person said "50,000 words just to say the MC is a loser" seems like you don't know how to actually expand a char without endless dialog which has no real bearing on the game aside micro tidbits which are so buried in that if you skip text you will miss it and have to weed threw pages and pages of text to find it again.

Again good Luck But maybe rethink the plan of action because it seems you are more worried on the LONG conversations of the Chars instead of well MC Self developmental growth and actual plot.
Oh boy. Might as well call it kinetic at which point, I've just started?

Now, to put it perfectly plainly. I don't understand, and when I say I don't understand I really don't. I have zero fucking clue about this forum and expectations of people in it.

No 30 cm dick. Oh shit, this MC sucks. Doesn't bed every char, oh shit, this shit sucks. Oh no, this MC isn't a straight up jacked badass, this shit sucks.

Like... for real. And yeah, yeah I actually do know how to expand a character. But I'm story focused person, I don't do it in few lines and then jump to tits and spend rest of my time making sex scenes.

And I also don't want some unrealistic jackass, who is instantly some macho bullshit and he is not bothered by anything or can tank a fucking bus hitting him, so yeah, if that's what bothers you then that's understandable. You won't find it here so fast nor so early.

I'd thank you for the feedback, but this isn't much of a feedback. Just your expectation not met. Either way, not putting this particular one on you that I'm about to say, but I can certainly see why I don't have motivation to deal with updating anything on this site anymore, along many other devs for that matter.

No matter what you do, you're gonna get shat at by this community. I'd fucking applaud, but its damn sad at this point.

In the end, yeah, I'm gonna thank you for your time at least. I owe you that one, but for the rest, I hope you find something suitable to your taste then. Plenty of magical badass MC's from get-go to go about.
 

Ennoch

Conversation Conqueror
Respected User
Oct 10, 2017
7,248
19,606
You won't find it here so fast nor so early.
How long it took Jamie Lennister in GoT to go from annoying prick to likable character? 3 seasons? 4? And here is this guy expecting the jump in S1E2. And i thought i hate slow burn :sneaky:
 
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Mystic

Elleria - Developer
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Game Developer
Nov 24, 2019
1,888
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How long it took Jamie Lennister in GoT to go from annoying prick to likable character? 3 seasons? 4? And here is this guy expecting the jump in S1E2. And i thought i hate slow burn :sneaky:
Well, Jamie Lannister was too busy fucking his sister for 4 seasons. :KEK: We don't have that here... at the moment at least.
 

Ive-11

Well-Known Member
Sep 10, 2019
1,403
498
question
"maledom" "bdsm" "spanking" "slave" n other stuff are not vanilla have a chance to be in this game ? :unsure: n ofcourse no netorare except mc is the one who steal other man girls called netori :HideThePain:
 

bobdickgus

Active Member
Apr 9, 2020
709
1,919
How long it took Jamie Lennister in GoT to go from annoying prick to likable character? 3 seasons? 4? And here is this guy expecting the jump in S1E2. And i thought i hate slow burn :sneaky:
Jamie Lannister was a tall handsome non doormat competent warrior from the first scene.
Making MC Jamie Lannister with an attitude adjustment over time would be highly welcome.
 
2.30 star(s) 3 Votes