VN Ren'Py Abandoned Undercover Love [Ep.5e Bug fix] [Crimson Axis Studio]

[Macinnes]

The main story is different yet similar. M/C not only has a magic cock but has a magical aura which makes gals that already lust after him go crazy. It is intriguing enough to capture my interest though so I plan to add this to the watch list. The backgrounds do not always fit IMO like the Asian themed pool in the back of Claudia's modern styled home. A more contemporary pool area like in "Where The Heart Is" would a better fit. The clothing at times is weird too IMO. Finally, for my taste the accentuated proportions of the girls are distracting in the typical "Big Ass/Big Tits" tag. Myself, I would prefer to see more normally proportioned models. There is nothing wrong with curves on a gal but usually on here big ass/big tits mean cartoonish models. Overall an interesting start. I'll watch how this one develops. LOL oh ya, watch out for that clerk in the Ashley's clothing store! I hear she's really a dingbat nurse who's secretly a vampire!

 

[memonto_mori]

no love why?????? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

[Rudrig]

Should'nt be saying this the cafe shop girl?

 

[CrimsonAxisStudio]

Should'nt be saying this the cafe shop girl?

Thanks for the call out. I'll fix it in the next build.

The main story is different yet similar. M/C not only has a magic cock but has a magical aura which makes gals that already lust after him go crazy. It is intriguing enough to capture my interest though so I plan to add this to the watch list. The backgrounds do not always fit IMO like the Asian themed pool in the back of Claudia's modern styled home. A more contemporary pool area like in "Where The Heart Is" would a better fit. The clothing at times is weird too IMO. Finally, for my taste the accentuated proportions of the girls are distracting in the typical "Big Ass/Big Tits" tag. Myself, I would prefer to see more normally proportioned models. There is nothing wrong with curves on a gal but usually on here big ass/big tits mean cartoonish models. Overall an interesting start. I'll watch how this one develops. LOL oh ya, watch out for that clerk in the Ashley's clothing store! I hear she's really a dingbat nurse who's secretly a vampire!

I'm not sure what game you're talking about, but I haven't played any games where the mc has a magical cock.

Asset choices are sometimes made due to financial reasons. Assets are expensive and some times hard to find good ones.

Be specific about clothing? Example? Would like to know what your view is.

The average cup size is 34dd in the US. Claudia's are definitely bigger. Sashas are around that size. Jeni and Kathryns are smaller. Jeni and Claudia have larger asses but Sasha and Kathryn much less so. Tried to mix and match.

 

[bigpenniser]

Do you remember which scene that was in?

Yeah, this one. It was at the beginning when they are by the pool. View attachment introsasha6.webp

 

[CrimsonAxisStudio]

Yeah, this one. It was at the beginning when they are by the pool. View attachment 1289836

Thanks. I'll look into it.

 

[Professor Black]

ayt i'll be back when there is a clear harem path and not single paths where you have to pick over the other. These types of choices, where u reject 1 girl over the other, cuz somehow they all invite you to do things all at the same time is tiring. cuz no matter what u pick you'd end up feeling bad about the rest

 

[randomguy6516265165]

How much content does the curvy redhead have?

 

[desmosome]

Why do all the characters act incesty? Why does your mom's friend act like she is your mom?

"Well, I guess that's going to have to be good enough."
"Not that I like it."
"But, you are your own man."
"And if you're like your dad..."
"You're stubborn as hell and determined."
"As long as you promise to be careful, I guess I'll have to be OK with it."

Does this sound like anything a family friend would say to you? Like your occupation is her personal responsibility or something. If she isn't your mom, it would be more natural to just tell him to be careful and keep out of harms way.

Why does the dad, and not the mom, call Claudia to ask her to take in the MC when it's stated that she is a friend of MC's mom? Is Claudia written to be MC's mom who split with MC's dad? Are we waiting for an incest patch? What is going on?

 

[SeveredRealms]

Why do all the characters act incesty? Why does your mom's friend act like she is your mom?

"Well, I guess that's going to have to be good enough."
"Not that I like it."
"But, you are your own man."
"And if you're like your dad..."
"You're stubborn as hell and determined."
"As long as you promise to be careful, I guess I'll have to be OK with it."

Does this sound like anything a family friend would say to you? Like your occupation is her personal responsibility or something. If she isn't your mom, it would be more natural to just tell him to be careful and keep out of harms way.

Why does the dad, and not the mom, call Claudia to ask her to take in the MC when it's stated that she is a friend of MC's mom? Is Claudia written to be MC's mom who split with MC's dad? Are we waiting for an incest patch? What is going on?

Guessing you missed the part that Claudia went to college with the mc's parents and she is also a mother of her own children so she has "motherly" instincts.

 

[riMaec]

Good game dev.. I'm into women so.. what can I say?! whenever I see Claudia.. wow.. what a gorgeous lady!!
But the main point of my feedback is the music/sound effects..
When I first tryed it months ago it was a HUGE pain What a fantastic game, literally, killed by its complete silence I've given it another chance today just because of your first steps in this direction and I have to say I've enjoyed it much more..
Don't let these details bring down your game and keep up your great work..

 

[Uriel ☁]

Really enjoyed this game, Sasha is hands down the best girl and one of the best models I've ever seen on DAZ. The make-up at the pub was also spot on, giving her some gothic vibe.

Onto the harem issue, I like how this game handles it. My problem with harems is that if you choose a single girl instead of going full harem you don't see anything new compared to going the full harem way. This is why I tend to simply go full harem in most games even if I'm not that much into it.

 

[desmosome]

Finished the game and I liked it a lot actually. I found a few conversation pieces a bit incesty like the author was going back and forth between making her MC's mother or not. Maybe it was written one way and the dev went back to change it due to patreon, but some of the original script remains with the incest vibes. Maybe I'm just talking out my ass. Whatever.

Other than that, I really liked the game. Magic/powers is probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I like the possibilities it offers on the porn side. The quicker escalation with some of the girls makes sense due to the emotion aura. Not everyone thinks the whole point of VNs is to endlessly get teased and finally get the pussy after 10 updates or something. There are many ways to go after the initial sex, so don't hold out just for the sake of holding out.

Corruption being an option is awesome. I wonder why MC has kinetic force powers though. It seems pretty useless for banging chicks lol. Maybe there is a significant non-porn side of the story where you fight orcs and shit. I'm down for that.

Oh one last thing. This is not a major detractor, but it's noticeable. The writing has no problems with grammar or structure, but it sounds a tad bit stale because every character talks in the same way. It would be hard to distinguish anyone apart if their name wasn't shown. It's not an easy thing one can just fix, but it would be good to keep it in mind when writing.

 

[Macinnes]

Thanks for the call out. I'll fix it in the next build.



I'm not sure what game you're talking about, but I haven't played any games where the mc has a magical cock.

Asset choices are sometimes made due to financial reasons. Assets are expensive and some times hard to find good ones.

Be specific about clothing? Example? Would like to know what your view is.

The average cup size is 34dd in the US. Claudia's are definitely bigger. Sashas are around that size. Jeni and Kathryn's are smaller. Jeni and Claudia have larger asses but Sasha and Kathryn much less so. Tried to mix and match.

Of course I was not speaking of a literal magic cock. Many games on here give the M/C a huge schlong and the gals in the stories just hop on it and lose their minds or to go with it there is always some plot device like a magic ring or a fairy, etc that "helps" things progress. In the case of your story we have some mystical magic that amplifies desires that already exist. This is why I said your plot is different yet similar. The mean bust size in the US is 34DD but there are reasons for that with breast augmentation and increasing obesity being two of them. I like your Jeni and Kathryn models overall. Sasha is ok but I'm not crazy about her hair. The two milfs are really what I was referring to with the slim waist, "fat ass" (as the M/C put it) and watermelons in your face on her chest. It's a personal preference and I'm sure many would disagree with me.

Hard to say now about the clothing since I did not make but 2 saves and that was at the end and at the two dates fork with Claudia and Jeni. Without a Gallery to refer to and refresh my memory I cannot point to a specific scene. Again it comes down to personal preference.

I like the renewed Son/Dad relationship you brought in and your story is interesting so far. I'm going to watch for your updates as a I said. Good luck.

 

[L3z1l3]

Super hot thick girls and beautiful renders, I can't wait for the relationship to progress more with them.
The story with the PI stuff and the supernatural family inheritance could both become very interesting and I like a game where I'm also invested in the story and not just the relationship, however even if both of these are in a very early stage and could turn out to be great or lackluster the beginning for both could have been written better.
The MC was the assistant of a PI in another country before he returned to this city. That means even if he has some experience doing PI stuff he doesn't have any connections here. Also his mindset doesn't seem fitting for a PI.

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The family inheritance stuff is also very confusing and maybe seemingly self contradicting.

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The relationship stuff and personalities of the characters is also sometimes strange or even self contradicting.

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Not to mention sometimes people behave as if some previous events happened even if you chose a different path.

I'll certainly keep an eye on this. I hope even with the different paths where you can miss events there will be some way to end up with all the girls as they all seem very interesting.

 

[CrimsonAxisStudio]

Of course I was not speaking of a literal magic cock. Many games on here give the M/C a huge schlong and the gals in the stories just hop on it and lose their minds or to go with it there is always some plot device like a magic ring or a fairy, etc that "helps" things progress. In the case of your story we have some mystical magic that amplifies desires that already exist. This is why I said your plot is different yet similar. The mean bust size in the US is 34DD but there are reasons for that with breast augmentation and increasing obesity being two of them. I like your Jeni and Kathryn models overall. Sasha is ok but I'm not crazy about her hair. The two milfs are really what I was referring to with the slim waist, "fat ass" (as the M/C put it) and watermelons in your face on her chest. It's a personal preference and I'm sure many would disagree with me.

Hard to say now about the clothing since I did not make but 2 saves and that was at the end and at the two dates fork with Claudia and Jeni. Without a Gallery to refer to and refresh my memory I cannot point to a specific scene. Again it comes down to personal preference.

I like the renewed Son/Dad relationship you brought in and your story is interesting so far. I'm going to watch for your updates as a I said. Good luck.

It wouldn't surprise me if there was indeed a game with an MC with a magic cock. I can see where there are similarities in what you're referring to. It was also a plot device to make things more intense in a lot of situations that aren't about sex too. I've spent a lot of time working with Jeni's model over the last couple of months and I think it turned out great for the character. I haven't had to use Kathryn much, but I'll re-evaluate her model in the coming weeks. I'm really worried about the hair, but I'll figure it out.

If you ever remember the clothing thing, throw me a message on here. I'm not much of a fashion person, so I'm sure there's outfits that maybe someone wouldn't wear to some occasion and I just kinda go with what looks nice.

Thanks for the productive feedback and kind words, and thanks for playing!

 

[CrimsonAxisStudio]

Super hot thick girls and beautiful renders, I can't wait for the relationship to progress more with them.
The story with the PI stuff and the supernatural family inheritance could both become very interesting and I like a game where I'm also invested in the story and not just the relationship, however even if both of these are in a very early stage and could turn out to be great or lackluster the beginning for both could have been written better.
1 The MC was the assistant of a PI in another country before he returned to this city. That means even if he has some experience doing PI stuff he doesn't have any connections here. Also his mindset doesn't seem fitting for a PI.

2

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The family inheritance stuff is also very confusing and maybe seemingly self contradicting.
3

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The relationship stuff and personalities of the characters is also sometimes strange or even self contradicting.
4

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5 - Not to mention sometimes people behave as if some previous events happened even if you chose a different path.

I'll certainly keep an eye on this. I hope even with the different paths where you can miss events there will be some way to end up with all the girls as they all seem very interesting.

Thanks for the feedback. I struggle with writing most of the time, and it's good to get direct feedback on it so I can review and fix problems.

I numbered your points so I can address them more easily.

Story Spoilers ahead. You've been warned.

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Greatly appreciate your feedback on the topic of writing. I feel like this is what I need to work on the most. Hope this brings some clarity to some if the issues, and I'll work to address them in future updates.

 

[bigpenniser]

Thanks. I'll look into it.

Thank you!

 

[Skankhunt 4 2 0]

Nice update
Thanks

 

[Aner878787]

Thanks for the update!

Sasha: but dad has eluded(aluded) to it when he rarely calls.
Dad: I think you're lacking information, or you would've taken more precations(precautions)
Jeni: Wow. How benevolant(benevolent) of you.