True, people cannot own one another, which is where trust comes in, something that is built up slowly but can be destroyed in a matter of seconds. NTR is cheating, netorare roughly translates to "to steal by having sex with" and every NTR story by definition is a story about a woman leaving their man for another man. They then add details to make it as heartbreaking as humanly possible and give you no choices or false choices to give you a feeling of helplessness. In pretty much every NTR story the point of view character is the husband who is left and the focus isn't on the sex it is on the heartbreak. That is why during the sex scenes the female and other male will constantly belittle the point of view character.
Generally it's the nature, it isn't just they cheat and break up with the man then they go on to live their own life. They really hammer home the point that the point of view character is a pathetic loser and the way they funnel the reader down all of the wrong choices into that scenario really makes a lot of people uncomfortable. No other fetish does that, and it's why NTR gets so much hate while others are just quietly avoided. People don't want to be reminded of that or made to feel like that, even in passing or as an alternate "bad end."
I am genuinely not sure what the appeal of NTR is, but for some people watching their partner break their heart is appealing. I think it might have something to do with the high from jealousy and anger. During that time your body is flooded with adrenaline and dopamine and now you can get the rush you'd normally get from parachuting or gambling right in the comfort of your own home, but I've yet to confirm that.
That is extremely rare. 99% of incest is essentially a writing tool for lazy writers. How do you have a man and a woman be close to each other and constantly interact in a society where it is considered anywhere from rude to outright harassment to speak with a stranger? They can either be classmates, a childhood friend, or a sibling. Most are of the variety of the non-blood related siblings but a few do take it further with full on inbreeding, either way, it generally plays out like a standard romance story.
That being said, for all of those that are cheating incest, they tend to get tagged with "cheating" or "NTR" and receive just as much hate.
What I think tends to bother people the most about NTR is in essence how the writers/developer typically handle it's portrayal... There seems to be a tendency for it it's use to be taken to extremes... As many other themes sometimes also get handled...
The types of NTR I've run into that really put me off of typically even trying many VN/Games with NTR in them, is when the protagonist seems be constantly damned in his/her pursuit to either avoid it or to stop it when it does rear it's head... When a developer keeps putting up obstacle after obstacle, all that does is cause ever increasing anxiety, frustration, anger, and so forth... I'm guessing there is a small minority that gets pleasure out of those types of feelings/emotions, but for me and most other folks, we are not looking for that form of entertainment...
I played a VN the other day in-which the male protagonist seemed like a nice guy, and in the course of the story he is offered up several different choices of women to pursue... Regardless which one I went with, all these constant obstacles kept getting thrown in my way... With one, I kept trying to keep the grubby hands of other men off of her as she was trying to just do her job each day... Over and over again, I kept getting choices related to saving her from yet another perverted guy... And just as some feelings between the two began to possibly blossom, yet an even bigger blockade was thrown in the middle of the road, which was practically impossible to get around... And the few moments when choices were presented to maybe help her out, she just began to shun them for no good reason, so yet another obstacle... Making for one extremely frustrating play through... And of course, while I was pursuing that character, the other female character (a woman who was actually interested in the protagonist romantically) was getting hit on, molested, and eventually forced into sex with another guy... So on the next play through I go the other route, but once again, more obstacles thrown in the way... Eventually no matter what choices were made, she was almost impossible to protect from pretty much every male character that came into view... I tried all sorts of variations, but it just became a shit-show of no-win/barely-winnable situations, followed by some teasing, followed by more practical no-win situations, or bigger obstacles to overcome... On and on, with just a bit of meaningful story in between more NTR to be dealt with...
Now some folks would say the developer is trying to create a sense of 'climbing your way to the top', or they are just adding a level of difficulty... But all I was feeling a majority of the time was anxiety and stress, and at no point was I having any fun, or being entertained, or even getting a simple feeling of real accomplishment... Roadblocks/Minefields just meant to create frustration, for the sake of it, are signs of poor story telling and bad VN/Game design...
So, yet another VN/Game where NTR just wasted my time and made me want to hate the game entirely... And I shouldn't have to hate it over that one aspect... And 9 times out of 10, especially when it's unavoidable, the developers just tend to over do it, over play it, or take it to extremes in most of the erotic/adult VN/Games I've tried over the years...
That being said, I've had a few VN/Games where NTR was a part of the story, but either it had a choice for avoidance, or the protagonist and his/her companion/s didn't mind it at all (instead it was just a part of their relationship dynamics), or it wasn't a huge bump in the road that really interfered at all with the protagonist's goals for his/hers building of the relationship/s... When it's handled in a more realistic and positive way, I don't get bothered by it as much... But when it's crammed down your throat, constantly hinders the protagonists goals for a relationship that doesn't involve such matters, or is intentionally added just because the developer wanted to add some easy to create drama, etc, then it just ruins everything it touches... At least for me... Because I don't get any form of positive emotion or sense of fun, from most of the NTR content I've run into so far, in this industry... Maybe because it's just not handled very well in most cases?
And again, I'm sure there are folks who don't mind all that stuff...
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