Ren'Py Abandoned What's Mine Is Yours [v0.2.0 Remake] [VitalSigns]

[HTYYHRK]

The problem is I have no real "vision" about the plot, my personal additions are:
1. Create a cuckquean game
2. Have the protag not being an idiot

I really had no "vision" how the story would play out, I just knew I wasn't satisfied with number #3 because it it lacked depth and narrative engagement, but trying to delve as deep as I want to go in a

Not giving me feedback will ensure this game is never restarted, because I am all out of ideas.

I mean, if it were up to me I'd say start with the daughter being the one cucking the mom because that sounds hot, and she can introduce her school friends if it makes sense in the plot. As far as story goes it could then bleed out of the sex life since now the daughter feels like she is in charge of the mom and has blackmail material on them, but wants the relationship to continue as is. There's also a natural endpoint to this dilemma when the girl graduates High School and the parents aren't really in control of her personal life and schedule anymore anyway.

 

[slocal]

Not giving me feedback will ensure this game is never restarted, because I am all out of ideas.

Well, that sounds like a terrible option, so here's my thoughts:

I loved what you were doing with the reboot. The way you were giving the interactions more feeling, definitely a good idea. If I were to direct a reboot here is my thoughts:
1) start the year with a full cast of girls that the MC is teaching.
2) have the flirting interactions begin, along with the rumor mills
3) only have sexual interactions with the girls you decide you like as you write step 2 (this way you don't have to develop the girl you find to be 2 dimensional)
4) continue to have pregnancy risk as part of the story, but it's a risk, not a guarantee. If it strikes your fancy, you could have one of the side girls get knocked up, but that would require a bit more character building (or sending her off to live with relatives?), but this could be a way to make a side girl into a main one.
5) have, at most, 2 girls from a year join the harem (it could be zero). Then the harem of girls along with the wife are in the next season that starts back at step (1)


PS the daughter/incest is a hot bonus, but don't force it if you aren't sure of writing it.

 

[andy60]

The problem is sex and story are not mutually exclusive, a good scene does one or more of three things:
1. Advances the plot
2. Tells the audience more about the characters
3. Tells the audience more about the world

As long as you follow those rules it is conceivably possibly to tell a rather compelling story in a series of sex scenes. I enjoy a VN with a lot of sex scenes, I also enjoy a VN with a good story, the best ones are those with a lot of sex scenes which fit seamlessly into the story. That is what I tried to do with WMIY, so despite it's large amount of sex scenes, story remains at the forefront of my mind with the Remake and quite frankly, I just don't know what to do with it anymore.

I think the problem lies at least partially in these questions:
What is the plot? Does it lead somewhere? Where does its tension come from?

If all parties are in immediate agreement there are no real stakes. To demonstrate:
>Wife: I want to be cucked!
>Husband: I am totally okay with this!
>Secondary Girl: So am I!
Good End achieved. Roll credits.

There are a couple of simple(if not necessarily easy) solutions.
1. Introduce tension either within the couple or
2. without. Maybe non acceptance by their surroundings or something.
3. The other potential solution is to come up with a separate plotline entirely and be about whatever interests you in fiction.
And the Main Love Interest just happens to have a cuckqueaning fetish.

P.S.
I deliberately avoided the word 'conflict' in this post. I find it somewhat limiting when discussing writing since it colours the discourse. Tension needs not be martial to be engaging.

 

[Rycharde's Realm]

I know, I'm making correction posts that treat this game as if it were still an ongoing title. Here is hoping the dev can get his "juices" flowing again with the help of the community.

Back to why I'm making this post:

The dialogue reads "in sickness and in death" instead of "in sickness and in health".

 

[ChaosOpen]

I know, I'm making correction posts that treat this game as if it were still an ongoing title. Here is hoping the dev can get his "juices" flowing again with the help of the community.

Back to why I'm making this post:

The dialogue reads "in sickness and in death" instead of "in sickness and in health".
View attachment 2221904

No, the newest version of the game has already corrected that error.

 

[Rycharde's Realm]

No, the newest version of the game has already corrected that error.

DL'd the game a couple of days ago, but ok.

 

[Fallen Branch]

Not giving me feedback will ensure this game is never restarted, because I am all out of ideas.

Well, I don't really remember what is already in the game, but in term of plot point I have a fews ideas.

1- With the cuckquean plan in action, the daughter reveals her love for her father, but is stopped by her mother who doesn't respect her wish (because incest is wrong even with consent or something). With the truth out of the bag, the daughter decides to fuck her father behind her mother's back. First the daughter would have to convince her dad, maybe she tricks the mc into believing that the mother wants a more realistic NTR for her case, which works at first, by being a bit of force, but eventually has to revealing her lie to the mc as she realizes it won't last and believe that she got him hook. After, a lot of drama and fixing their relationship, they get back together. Later, they secretly get caught by the mother who is torn between stopping them or enjoyng her dream in a more "natural" setting.

2- For this one we would need to change the setting a bit from the current so accepting of the situation, because... for a teacher having an affaire with a student (and worker/coworker too) is a big no no, even more with multiple, but the wife is too horny and exited to think properly and let all of the school know that there is at leat a teacher in there actively looking to fuck staffs and students a like through the initial annoncement of the cuckquean plan. But happily, there is now way to know who is part of the plan, but now there are peaple actively tryng to find and end mc and wife carrer. Like, the director could be the principal antagonsite in this regard and giving out prime to find them and be like "you, exemplar student(potentialy blackmail by the director because authority figure over player throuth natural social order = always evil), get recruted in there harem and find who is being it and if there is more to it". So now we got a mole in the harem and she probably not even like the sex as she does it for justice and belive there is an entire organisation juste waiting to be uncover, but grow fond of mc and became a doubleagent for him.
Note : it's still work with idea 1 as hiding important stuff from your child is bad parenting, she is old enougth to know and turning your father in a wore use by most likely most of your contact is good to know.

3- Bref, a simple solution for idea that I see for this VN is to take a idea represented by a girl and try to avoid to reach a statue quo. If I remember correcly, it's a big problem in the current story. where character are not set up to have an arc. There is this girl wich is male averse in the story if I remember correcly. So she fuck the mc and then what? she is heal? No, make it that it's does'nt. Maybe she will never heal and most learn to accept it. Maybe, she try to throw the towel to soon and the mc take a more proactive role as her conrene teacher (and enventually lover). Maybe she is self destrutrice about it : she hate having sexe with the mc, it make her literaly sick, but she try and try again refusing to accepte that it will not work until she face her trauma or something (maybe she saw her mom getting rape or something). Oh! Maybe she become abusif with mc "raping" him like she saw her mother be or you know keeping with the self destruct idea and being the one "rape".

4- I saw a comment earlier sayng that all scenes must have a pupose or something like it. I must disagree. Sometime it is important to have a scene to relax or distract of the main story. You know... relax after a stresfull scene or being cool in order of being cool, or funny to be funny. If it fit and is not to much of a distraction, why not. It's all about the flow I say. Wich is why not all characters needs to be complexe. The ones just curious about the cuckquean scheme, a recurent but storyless partner, or student tryng to get favors could easily have one trait, be use as filler and background character as they don't realy receive the focus of the story once they have their introductory sex scene. Like "show don't tell" kind of thing.

Note: all the talk of characters not liking sex is volontary to contrast the protagonsits goal of sex for fun.

Bref, I am hopeful that my midnight rant help and good luck.

 

[kayot]

TL;DR: vita, you're doing a great job. Your original stories were fantastic and you should stick with that kind of kinetic novel story telling.

Long version;

Personally, I liked the original kinetic novels. Low to no drama, fun characters, and no real consequences. A fun romp with fun characters doing fun things. That said, trying to make the story feel real, kind of defeats the purpose. I'm reading the post and it's like ether people agree with me, or they're trying to get vita to win a Pulitzer.

I've read ero manga with heavy plot before. It wasn't fun. I felt exhausted just getting to the next scene. In all honestly, I wish they'd remove the porn and just make it a normal story. Other ero manga try to make it feel real, like it could happen and holy crap is it depressing. Part of the reason one of my fav tags is Futa is because it's super hard to make that feel real or depressing. Most of the time it's comical, or at least pretty good. Personal fav is chp 5 Goho-bi Triangle of 374885.

So far I've only found one that was mostly depressing and it STILL had something of a happy ending. That being Chinpotsuki Ijimerarekko. 258756 and 189382 if you're having a good day and wish you weren't. It does still have some good scenes but they're buried.

Some Futa stories are depressing, but that's because the Futa isn't being used. It's just a chick with a dick being brutalized. There are other ones that are NTR, but the guy is so pathetic that I just can't care. Like dude, don't sit there and cry. Swing a chair. Throw a book. Peg the futa and declare dominance over both of them. You've got this. I believe in you. ~or~ get the futa to peg you and then get added to her harem. There's no losers in my book. Worst case, just walk away. Declare a pyranic victory in the face of overwhelming odds if you're not cute/useful enough and/or the futa is too strong to physically over come.

With WMIY the premise is ridicules. It's over the top, and if anything it tries too hard to apologize. The dudes wife wants to be cucked. Let her have this. Logan gets an unlikely harem, Molly gets cucked, and Karen gets chocked. Everyone wins.

Also, I really dislike branching dialog trees. It's not bad if it's harem building, but it's terrible otherwise. 'Once is a Lifetime' handled this really well. There wasn't any, pick one or the other situations. Well, there was ONE like that, but it's obvious who to pick since she literally never gets another option for points were as the other two have tons of opportunities for points. I liked Xchange 1 because the dialog tree was really small. At the time I didn't know about non VN games so I thought that, that was it. In fact I didn't start playing porn games until a few years ago when I discovered an entire set of different genre of porn games. I literally gave up on porn games because XChange 2 had a large dialog tree and I just didn't want to. XChange 3 was just nuts with it's branching dialog tree. The stories were still fun, but I would get bored going through the tree on each playthrough and back then walkthroughs weren't a thing.

I liked the original formula of just going from girl to girl. I thought the story was fun, if a bit wordy at times. I also like how the girls recruited other girls. Or how girls weren't sure it was real, so they probe to see if it's legitimate. It was great story telling and I didn't get board. I liked the occasional humor. The remake was lacking that humor. It felt like it was getting a bit dark and a little too real. Like the first cheat scene was heavy in the remake. In the original the other girl was into it. Those sorts of things made the remake feel kind of depressing. Maybe it's just me.

 

[Fallen Branch]

TL;DR: @vita, you're doing a great job. Your original stories were fantastic and you should stick with that kind of kinetic novel story telling.

What he/she said. My earlier comment is not what I would like to see in the VN, but what story/intrigue it inspire in me when prompt. Can you take it and run with it? If you like it and can make it yours : sur. Ultimately, do what you want, in the style you want. I just don't wish this story to be truly abandoned.

 

[Mega14343]

TL;DR: @vita, you're doing a great job. Your original stories were fantastic and you should stick with that kind of kinetic novel story telling.

What he/she said. My earlier comment is not what I would like to see in the VN, but what story/intrigue it inspire in me when prompt. Can you take it and run with it? If you like it and can make it yours : sur. Ultimately, do what you want, in the style you want. I just don't wish this story to be truly abandoned.

I'll also agree with kayot and Fallen Branch. I think vita's doing a good job so far.
There's nothing wrong with porn for the sake of porn. There's also nothing wrong with trying to make the story more realisitic or more epic or whatever, but it's a double edged sword, and often not worth the risk imo.
I just hope that you can find it in you to finish making this story.

 

[Sharks are Evil]

I'm just sitting here waiting for someone to take over the game. make the daughter underaged again, go download some really nasty scenes and turn the game into bat shit crazy orgy of tags that the site will not be ok with XD

 

[TheWalkingChinko]

Wait so is this game being remaked and then abandoned, or abandoned but getting a remake/reboot? I'm confused.

 

[Konstantinus]

Wait so is this game being remaked and then abandoned, or abandoned but getting a remake/reboot? I'm confused.

This game became first a trilogy. Now after the third part the creator decided to remake the first game now doing it proper after all the coding experience he got. But together with his coding experience came the experience of what he really likes and so when a writers block came too he decided to abandon the remake.

 

[ChaosOpen]

This game became first a trilogy. Now after the third part the creator decided to remake the first game now doing it proper after all the coding experience he got. But together with his coding experience came the experience of what he really likes and so when a writers block came too he decided to abandon the remake.

No, the game became a gordian knot of plots and subplots and character motivations that is becoming more and more difficult to untangle into a single narrative. I might one day finish it, but rather than leaving people on the edge of their seat I felt it was better for people to just treat it as abandoned.

 

[reyntimebaby]

Using my first ever post to possibly help out one of my favorite adult games. I totally understand, writers block is super frustrating to deal with, but I honestly don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. The story so far has really great, and I would love to see each girl have a small "arc" in the same way that Mary and Chelsey have. It doesn't have to be super complex, both girls so far have had wonderful little stories that help endear them to the reader and feel more invested in their sex scenes. Meanwhile, you have Amy and Molly who have arcs that can run through the whole game, with scenes interspersed throughout. I guess my question would be, what aspects of the story are you struggling with? The story doesn't have to crazy complex and in depth to be good, and you've already cleared 95% of adult games anyway. Maybe try focusing on the individual girls first before deciding where to take Molly and Amy? That might help.

 

[KnowNoHope]

No, the game became a gordian knot of plots and subplots and character motivations that is becoming more and more difficult to untangle into a single narrative. I might one day finish it, but rather than leaving people on the edge of their seat I felt it was better for people to just treat it as abandoned.

i think your original story was fantastic, I never got around to playing the remake version though. Your story though just lacked connection between some of the sub-stories and a few plot holes.
some things I think would be a good idea:
it was becoming unbelievable that they were not getting caught, with how big the collection of people were becoming, I think it would have been cool t have a charter that... 'cleans up' the evidence and gets in on the action maybe by blackmail. Has to be someone with enough authority or connections to do this. The school Principal or the janitor comes to mind (they have keys to everything) also I would make this character older than the wife, she always got off on getting replaced by a younger model her response to this situation would be rather cool. This also potentially gives your story an antagonist to overcome. she could potentially even have 'minions' that are already being blackmailed for stuff that get in on the fun, it'd be pretty funny if the school janitor had the principal on a leash because the janitor was blackmailing the shit out of them. the story could eventually have a turn around where the MC gets their own blackmail material or some form of reconciliation happens and they work together to keep the underground school life functioning.

get rid of the time skip jump for now just have all the girls be part of the same class for the year, it didn't feel like enough happened for it to suddenly be the next year.

age the daughter up a bit maybe and make that be some fetish molly has, just a thought not even story relevant really

 

[ChaosOpen]

Using my first ever post to possibly help out one of my favorite adult games. I totally understand, writers block is super frustrating to deal with, but I honestly don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. The story so far has really great, and I would love to see each girl have a small "arc" in the same way that Mary and Chelsey have. It doesn't have to be super complex, both girls so far have had wonderful little stories that help endear them to the reader and feel more invested in their sex scenes. Meanwhile, you have Amy and Molly who have arcs that can run through the whole game, with scenes interspersed throughout. I guess my question would be, what aspects of the story are you struggling with? The story doesn't have to crazy complex and in depth to be good, and you've already cleared 95% of adult games anyway. Maybe try focusing on the individual girls first before deciding where to take Molly and Amy? That might help.

I believe I used writers block as a cop-out for the unknown feeling that was niggling at me but I haven't quite placed yet. When I started I made it clear that there is no patreon or tip jar to donate money because I didn't want it to become a job where I had paying customers who were waiting on a product. This was always simply something I did for my own amusement, and anything I made would either sit on my computer forever or I'd release them to let other enjoy them, and I would in turn enjoy the fact that people appreciated my story. However, it has become more of a chore, especially animating, so maybe it is childish, but it simply isn't fun and I don't want to do it. I would like to see it finished one day, but when it comes down to opening up koikatsu and spending hours and hours laboriously posing characters, I can't summon the motivation. Add to that what isn't writers block but it certainly is a mess of plots, subplots, and character arcs that are difficult to form into a coherent narrative. Each character has a rather in-depth character arc I planned out but fitting them all together smoothly is rather messy.

 

[piercetheveil45]

I believe I used writers block as a cop-out for the unknown feeling that was niggling at me but I haven't quite placed yet. When I started I made it clear that there is no patreon or tip jar to donate money because I didn't want it to become a job where I had paying customers who were waiting on a product. This was always simply something I did for my own amusement, and anything I made would either sit on my computer forever or I'd release them to let other enjoy them, and I would in turn enjoy the fact that people appreciated my story. However, it has become more of a chore, especially animating, so maybe it is childish, but it simply isn't fun and I don't want to do it. I would like to see it finished one day, but when it comes down to opening up koikatsu and spending hours and hours laboriously posing characters, I can't summon the motivation. Add to that what isn't writers block but it certainly is a mess of plots, subplots, and character arcs that are difficult to form into a coherent narrative. Each character has a rather in-depth character arc I planned out but fitting them all together smoothly is rather messy.

hey man, i just wanna let you know that i enjoyed the original game and really liked the improvements you made in the remake. take however long you need man

 

[Donjoe81]

Well, I don't really remember what is already in the game, but in term of plot point I have a fews ideas.

1- With the cuckquean plan in action, the daughter reveals her love for her father, but is stopped by her mother who doesn't respect her wish (because incest is wrong even with consent or something). With the truth out of the bag, the daughter decides to fuck her father behind her mother's back. First the daughter would have to convince her dad, maybe she tricks the mc into believing that the mother wants a more realistic NTR for her case, which works at first, by being a bit of force, but eventually has to revealing her lie to the mc as she realizes it won't last and believe that she got him hook. After, a lot of drama and fixing their relationship, they get back together. Later, they secretly get caught by the mother who is torn between stopping them or enjoyng her dream in a more "natural" setting.

Very interesting take and I would also love to see a cuckqueen game because there aren´t many around.
Alternatively you could also have the Daughter tell her Dad about her feelings.
Her Dad thinks it is wrong and wants nothing to do with that. The Daughter keeps teasing him behind her moms back wearing few clothes but her Dad stays stubborn until the Daughter creates a plan where she steals her moms phone and plays the old switcheroo where she messages dad that he has to wait in bed wearing a blindfold and both have sex. Then they get caught by the mother who is torn between stopping them or enjoying her dream in a more "natural" setting.

 

[Fallen Branch]

Alternatively you could also have the Daughter tell her Dad about her feelings.

You could but it's the mother which is proactive one in the couple, and this change cut her of the early part of this intrigue. As I imagine it (which I realise, I didn't wrote down this part earlier), the daughter is resentful toward her mother and take pleasure in her steal. While the dad get caught up in the "be more open sexually" mentality that his wife push on him. Which bring her back, once again, in the picture. Also, in my version, we have an explicite confirmation that the mother is being cuck baked in the intrigue. While, if it is not adress, her concent is nebulus due to the cuckqueen plan.

I don't think your proposition is wrong as it's focus on the core fetish of the daughter (incest), but mine focus on the mother being cuck linking to the greater theme. Also, the wife is the protagonist while the dad/mc is the narrator in the current story. So she should be involved directly or inderectly as much as possible.

Bref, good idea, but i prefer my version.

Note : also love the idea of the father being rape by his daughter, but I can't see her end goal if we don't go full on porn logic, or maybe it's her logic wich is doom to fail?