Bbh, the renders ain't bad. The story seems nice (10 minutes in)
But the UI, oh the UI... I have to say this, offensive or not - it is so bad, like one of the worst here. Too much cluttering between the background and the texts. Sure that fancy transition effect is nice, but you gotta consider reworking the entire UI to be something more.. minimalistic. That way it won't be poking your eyes, and let players see more of the scenes. I'm not much of an experienced UI-UX designer, but this triggers me so much.
No need for those fancy button backgrounds, just a plain semi transparent layer of black or white is enough. It just works, it's easy on the eyes.
Also you might want to reduce the dialogue background/font size to 50% of how it is right now. It takes up almost half of the screen.
And actually, if the interface rework is coming, then I'm more interested in that instead of the story adjustments.
Sorry if it's too harsh or anything. My English is kinda wacky, and I sometimes have difficulty in expressing with it.