Found another few:
1. During Mei's introduction, there's an unnecessary line break where her grandfather says "She slept in our shack with" then "the animals, that'll suffice someone like her." That could easily fit one line- the very next line is longer but fits into a single text box. Also, it should be "suffice FOR someone like her". The same thing happens a few lines later when he says "Her mother could been a whore and used my son's generous heart to wrap him around" "her finger for all I know." (You also forgot the "have" in "could HAVE been a whore".)
2. Additionally, a few lines later it says "With those words, she quickly averts her eyes towards you with an unimaginable sadness in her eyes." Leaving aside the matter than you used "her eyes" twice in one line (a simple "them" would be less redundant), "avert" means to direct away. You can't avert towards something. Should just be "she turns her eyes towards you" or something.
3. Later when describing Mei's homeland you mention the "men pose an incredible strength". I think that should have been "possess incredible strength".
4. A few lines later you talk about the "hostility like that old guy displayed towards his own niece". Mei's his granddaughter, not his niece.
Just wondering, are you planning on correcting these errors in later versions, or am I wasting my time doing this proofreading?
