Ren'Py Artificial Awakening [v0.10.1] [ShinyDarkRai]

[Mei Lien~]

I don't use discord but maybe it is a good idea to write the dialogue in a google docs file and let Grammarly check it that should already help with many of the things that stood out to me.

He's right. I myself use Grammarly a lot. I've learned English through the "brute way", but now it's flowing fine. My game had an uptime with that site help as well as I had.
I like how the story is moving from a place to another pretty fast, by the way. But even so, well explained. Just polishing some things here and there and it will be shining diamond-like.

 

[ShinyDarkRai]

He's right. I myself use Grammarly a lot. I've learned English through the "brute way", but now it's flowing fine. My game had an uptime with that site help as well as I had.
I like how the story is moving from a place to another pretty fast, by the way. But even so, well explained. Just polishing some things here and there and it will be shining diamond-like.

Can you specify where were the errors?

 

[Mei Lien~]

Can you specify where were the errors?

I'll discord you.

 

[ShinyDarkRai]

This is mainly a sandbox update, things can change in the future so, anything you like or don't like please give me your review about it. I am still learning a lot about renpy. My exams are near so I might take a Short break.

 

[NikoHello]

Does the mc ever not look like a gremlin in the game? I wanted to try the game before, but as soon as I saw him in game, I dunno. Some bit flipped in my brain that made me think I didn't want to play it. I might try it again at some point. There's been lots of games I've been put off to at first but then liked the more I played them.

 

[Mei Lien~]

Does the mc ever not look like a gremlin in the game? I wanted to try the game before, but as soon as I saw him in game, I dunno. Some bit flipped in my brain that made me think I didn't want to play it. I might try it again at some point. There's been lots of games I've been put off to at first but then liked the more I played them.

The MC changes (body-shift) at the very very start... If I can hint you, play the game (Games in your case) a bit more before telling yourself "I'll dislike it" cause you sure will miss some good ones in the future if you keep thinking like this, man.

 

[ShinyDarkRai]

The MC changes (body-shift) at the very very start... If I can hint you, play the game (Games in your case) a bit more before telling yourself "I'll dislike it" cause you sure will miss some good ones in the future if you keep thinking like this, man.

Listen to astrider

 

[robbaniak]

Changing VN to a Sandbox = Sudden Death.
R.I.P.

BTW: Please remove the VN info from the game description as someone may be fooled

 

[Joshua3883]

Changing VN to a Sandbox = Sudden Death.
R.I.P.

BTW: Please remove the VN info from the game description as someone may be fooled

I cant stand a sandbox VN, HS tutor is alright but most of the time it leaves you confused and angry

 

[LordMerek]

Your game sounds interesting, but for me, the story is the essential part. I'm personally not a fan of "I accidentally" or "I intentionally" took over someone else's body. It's not my character, and it never will be. So I don't know why people think it makes a compelling story. I'll try your game and leave some feedback.

Sandbox elements are generally okay as long as you don't introduce mindless, pointless, grinding that literally does nothing but mask a severe lack of content. As long as you don't do that, you won't get any complaints from me on Sandbox elements.

Update: So far I've enjoyed what I played here, some things to note:
- When I got out of bed for breakfast it was night time and I had to skip to the next morning to proceed.
- You should have someone spellcheck. If you are going to write your game in English, this is a must.

Edit:
I found a bug. Occurs when the nurse is giving you a blowjob

Spoiler

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[YadenYu]

Spanish patch

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[Mei Lien~]

Spanish patch

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Hermano Jaden!

by: Jesse Anderson

 

[YadenYu]

Hermano Jaden!

by: Jesse Anderson

who is Jaden?!

 

[ShinyDarkRai]

Changing VN to a Sandbox = Sudden Death.
R.I.P.

BTW: Please remove the VN info from the game description as someone may be fooled

I cant stand a sandbox VN, HS tutor is alright but most of the time it leaves you confused and angry

Im sorry if this doesn't suit your taste bu the only reason I choose the sandbox system is to give the user some freedom of what do amd what character to pursue.
Maybe I could try making a Linear VN like you guys saying of the same story(but different versions)?

 

[ShinyDarkRai]

Spanish patch

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Thank you for this

 

[ShinyDarkRai]

Your game sounds interesting, but for me, the story is the essential part. I'm personally not a fan of "I accidentally" or "I intentionally" took over someone else's body. It's not my character, and it never will be. So I don't know why people think it makes a compelling story. I'll try your game and leave some feedback.

Sandbox elements are generally okay as long as you don't introduce mindless, pointless, grinding that literally does nothing but mask a severe lack of content. As long as you don't do that, you won't get any complaints from me on Sandbox elements.

Update: So far I've enjoyed what I played here, some things to note:
- When I got out of bed for breakfast it was night time and I had to skip to the next morning to proceed.
- You should have someone spellcheck. If you are going to write your game in English, this is a must.

Edit:
I found a bug. Occurs when the nurse is giving you a blowjob

Spoiler

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I'm glad you enjoyed.
I will look into this bug.

 

[BlasKyau]

The sour note of most sandboxes is having to jump from place to place blindly fishing for scenes,
Good sandbox games have a detailed guide so people know exactly what to do to progress and fully complete the game.

I noticed your planned tags don't include vaginal sex or anal sex,
That leaves me feeling un-optimistic for this game,
Just foreplay,
Will this change?

A sandbox without a hint system can be very chaotic.

It's best to include a hint system for the main missions and leave "secret" events or side missions to be discovered when you go to the appropriate place (happening randomly or if you go at a certain time, or combining both)

 

[BlasKyau]

Last sandbox I played that used a "hint" system,
Vaguely gave hints "work on this person" still needing to jump from place to place fishing for scenes,
Hint systems can be total cancer leaving guides like what Maim makes, far superior.

It all depends on how the track system and the sandbox are made.

If it tells you: talk to this character in such a location, it's easier to play (now you would have to know when he/she's there, for this it helps a sandbox that has information on who is in each place at all times, such as including faces or a sign that says that there is someone there). Other option (not excluded) is put a signal in the locations (and at the time) in which a mission occurs (main or secondary, it could be used with both or only with the main ones): if that signal doesn't appear, then there is no main mission, but still you could have events or secrets.

A hint system can be a great help or a pain in the ass. It all depends of how it's made.

 

[ben akeba]

Did you say micro-ship ... was my first thought while starting the game, had to restart to change mc name to Nova

 

[ShinyDarkRai]

Last sandbox I played that used a "hint" system,
Vaguely gave hints "work on this person" still needing to jump from place to place fishing for scenes,
Hint systems can be total cancer leaving guides like what Maim makes, far superior.

It all depends on how the track system and the sandbox are made.

If it tells you: talk to this character in such a location, it's easier to play (now you would have to know when he/she's there, for this it helps a sandbox that has information on who is in each place at all times, such as including faces or a sign that says that there is someone there). Other option (not excluded) is to put a signal in the locations (and at the time) in which a mission occurs (main or secondary, it could be used with both or only with the main ones): if that signal doesn't appear, then there is no main mission, but still, you could have events or secrets.

A hint system can be a great help or a pain in the ass. It all depends on how it's made.

I do plan to Implement a hint system but it probably won't be in the next update.