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4.10 star(s) 114 Votes

Watcher X

Active Member
Dec 26, 2017
756
2,365
Okay, chapter 3 was a major improvement. Except for the very end, I need to know what Byron and Penny talked about goddammitt!!! :mad:

All the characters are fantastic, I wasn't going to play the Octavia route but it turns out her's was far more interesting. Penny is such a great character, she is almost worthy of her own game. This is such a well written and crafted VN, a real gem.

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DarkP

Newbie
Aug 26, 2017
90
120
Now that was amazing... Much better ending than the last time and the jokes are spot on! And Penny is amazing! Keep going in this direction and I'm sure you will be rewarded for it.
 
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KoGa3

Engaged Member
Modder
Donor
Aug 14, 2018
3,188
34,282
For the eye issue, I think the eyes are just a little too big. Reduce them just a bit, and I think it will improve girls' faces.
I totally agree with you, that would be a big improvement for me too!
Just as an example:

Update:
Now that I've played a little longer, I must admit: please don't change them. They have grow on me now, too...
 
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Lockheart

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Jan 8, 2019
630
2,995
The whack a mole with mjolnir got me.

Also here I am, getting all excited about taking avalons top off, and then.......i think i verbally said "you sonofa bitch" while also silently applauding the fuck out of your genius. Certaintly keeps me entertained.

Some of the things ive been seeing in this thread about the faces/eye sizes. I kinda love it, it has this kind of 'frozen' esque feel to the faces which i find really adorable. New penny seems much more playful and less actual crazy, so i like it. In terms of the story im not so sure i care much about byrons father, Id be more interested in just the girls backstorys and adventures.

Lastly here I gotta give a huge shoutout to you lockheart, whos quickly becoming my favorite dev. You truly read and take into consideration feedback ie, rewriting that 3rd act ending to stray a little from "we are going to die" path and very quickly at that. And I mean come on....that scene with Myrabelle, my reaction was like "stooooooop he did not just single me out." I loved it man, was awesome. And if your kink is armor clad ladies...I see no reason why avalon and dallas cant go to a cosplay convention/ren fair ;). Looking forward to next update, hopefully myrabelle can work with us a little and realize this silly fan just happens to appreciate her : P.
I'm so happy to hear that about the faces. I don't see what they see, I guess. My girls look incredible to me. I loved Frozen, I'm a huge Disney fan.

I'm going to talk a little bit about Byron's father. It's difficult because I see some people just want the feel good, flirty parts and some people want the suspenseful, intense stuff. I have an idea to sort of please everyone. Here's hoping it works!

Ahaha, yeah I didn't expect anyone to comment on Myrabelle. It made me really happy to hear someone liked her. So thank you! She will definitely be apart of future updates.

Thank you again for the kind words, they really make my day!
 
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Lockheart

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Jan 8, 2019
630
2,995
Well, I just finished all 3 chapters in one playthrough (I only just found this today) and I must say I'm quite impressed! I found your style of story telling very refreshing with a few segments causing me to LOL! So far I love ALL your characters and the way the story is developing! Definitely looking forward to more of your witty prose! If you had a Patreon account I would have subscribed with a monthly donation, I already subscribe to over 40 others. Love your work and I will be following you here!
Thank you so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying it! I'm happy to hear you'd like to donate. The best possible donation right now would be spreading the word about Avalon. I cherish this hobby and really want to share my work with as many people as possible. Thank you for reading!
 
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Lockheart

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Jan 8, 2019
630
2,995
Okay, chapter 3 was a major improvement. Except for the very end, I need to know what Byron and Penny talked about goddammitt!!! :mad:

All the characters are fantastic, I wasn't going to play the Octavia route but it turns out her's was far more interesting. Penny is such a great character, she is almost worthy of her own game. This is such a well written and crafted VN, a real gem.

Quick question:
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.
Oooh, look at you, Mr. Observant! Perhaps he's not as cunning as you think. ;)
 

ontach

Well-Known Member
Apr 8, 2018
1,221
1,370
Regarding the eyes,. the iris might be a bit too large. Personally, I like it - gives it that Japanese art kind of feel.

For those who are sticking to the Dallas path, my favourite Avalon renders are in the other path, when she's in the pool. :love:
 
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Canto Forte

Post Pro
Jul 10, 2017
21,624
26,694
These are realistik facets of the mold dev sculpt every time there is need of a new babe to water the eyes!
I bet dev washez and sponges every inch of their bodies to make sure they are smooth as butter ans sweet as
candy! Be a dear and also wash their feet ... sneak a peak and make us all happy)!
 
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Paitryn

Well-Known Member
Mar 10, 2017
1,590
2,233
Personally I like the big eyes. and Penny is great. The ending felt much more in tune with where the characters are in the story. And yeah Myrabelle is a little hottie. Maybe we will get to see her in some way in the future or even a future game. Look forward to the next episode keep up the good work!

As for your request at the end of the game: Johnny is a must in my opinion. As he is important to both Ava and Byron. Byron seems to care little for his father and really why should we. I really like both sides of the main story so hopefully you get the good mix down between the love and suspense.
 
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KEKBUR

Member
Sep 15, 2016
195
521
What the hell? Am i the only one donating a coffee??? That better not be true.

Amazing game, great story (a tiny bit too much male bashing now and then) really looking forward to more! :)
 
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Lockheart

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Jan 8, 2019
630
2,995
Personally I like the big eyes. and Penny is great. The ending felt much more in tune with where the characters are in the story. And yeah Myrabelle is a little hottie. Maybe we will get to see her in some way in the future or even a future game. Look forward to the next episode keep up the good work!

As for your request at the end of the game: Johnny is a must in my opinion. As he is important to both Ava and Byron. Byron seems to care little for his father and really why should we. I really like both sides of the main story so hopefully you get the good mix down between the love and suspense.
Thank you so much! We're going to explore Johnny's story a little bit starting in the next act. It's actually a really interesting tale! But you're right, the mix has to be right and I don't want to tilt too far to either side. Balance is key!
 

Lockheart

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Jan 8, 2019
630
2,995
What the hell? Am i the only one donating a coffee??? That better not be true.

Amazing game, great story (a tiny bit too much male bashing now and then) really looking forward to more! :)
Thank you so much for the support! That's my first donation! The ultimate goal is to add more graphics cards to my setup so I can kick out renders faster and add some better animations. I really appreciate your help towards that goal! :D
 
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Darth Sidious

The Senate & Emperor of the First Galactic Empire
Donor
Sep 24, 2017
1,604
2,312
I'm so happy to hear that about the faces. I don't see what they see, I guess. My girls look incredible to me. I loved Frozen, I'm a huge Disney fan.

I'm going to talk a little bit about Byron's father. It's difficult because I see some people just want the feel good, flirty parts and some people want the suspenseful, intense stuff. I have an idea to sort of please everyone. Here's hoping it works!

Ahaha, yeah I didn't expect anyone to comment on Myrabelle. It made me really happy to hear someone liked her. So thank you! She will definitely be apart of future updates.

Thank you again for the kind words, they really make my day!
Wowow hold on, you like Disney? Clearly you've got no idea what Disney has done to me and the Dark Side of the Force. Myrabelle is kinda cute, but I really like Dallas! I'm a sucker for bad girls.
 

Darth Sidious

The Senate & Emperor of the First Galactic Empire
Donor
Sep 24, 2017
1,604
2,312
Oooh, look at you, Mr. Observant! Perhaps he's not as cunning as you think. ;)
So Avalon is 18 now, and the rape happened years ago. Tyler has saucy photo of his young daughter on his dresser. He's probably a hebephile, but he's black too isn't that a violation of the Woke Code 69?
 

Lockheart

Active Member
Donor
Game Developer
Jan 8, 2019
630
2,995
I totally agree with you, that would be a big improvement for me too!
Just as an example:
View attachment 543752
Adding more sound is a great idea! I think I'll take some extra time and try to focus on that in the next act. I spent countless hours listening to music, trying to fit just the right song into each scene. But I did very little with sounds. Thank you for the suggestion and I totally agree!

I'm glad you started warming up to the faces. I'm a sucker for big eyes, I just can't help it! Thanks for the awesome review!
 
4.10 star(s) 114 Votes