VN Ren'Py Because I Love Her [Ep.1 P1] [The Typist]

[Krynh]

Something

Prince

Good

Name's

Orrr a job to keep you going?

Well, I'm convinced!

No buts

probably go with three "..." rather than "-"

wants

Zoey

"No it's not weird I promise... "

Whose

Zoey

I'm

attempted

I'm

"Aww fuck..."

can't

suspicious

Gwen


Again. Gwen

won't

were

clothing

Use third person. This isn't the MC
"Claire looks at herself in the mirror"

"Claire looks into the mirror and contemplates"

"Claire takes a second to put on the chains..."

"Claire takes a photo of herself in the chains for Max..."

"Claire finishes changing and heads out"

"I"

Zoey

Secret Canadian? "about"

too

 

[Rastafoo]

Something
View attachment 2458075
Prince
View attachment 2458076
Good
View attachment 2458078
Name's
View attachment 2458079
Orrr a job to keep you going?
View attachment 2458098
Well, I'm convinced!
View attachment 2458108
No buts
View attachment 2458112
probably go with three "..." rather than "-"
View attachment 2458120
wants
View attachment 2458121
Zoey
View attachment 2458123
"No it's not weird I promise... "
View attachment 2458127
Whose
View attachment 2458129
Zoey
View attachment 2458130
I'm
View attachment 2458132
attempted
View attachment 2458138
I'm
View attachment 2458140
"Aww fuck..."
View attachment 2458143
can't
View attachment 2458145
suspicious
View attachment 2458146
Gwen
View attachment 2458147

Again. Gwen
View attachment 2458216
won't
View attachment 2458253
were
View attachment 2458254
clothing
View attachment 2458255
Use third person. This isn't the MC
"Claire looks at herself in the mirror"
View attachment 2458257
"Claire looks into the mirror and contemplates"
View attachment 2458258
"Claire takes a second to put on the chains..."
View attachment 2458262
"Claire takes a photo of herself in the chains for Max..."
View attachment 2458263
"Claire finishes changing and heads out"
View attachment 2458266
"I"
View attachment 2458269
Zoey
View attachment 2458272
Secret Canadian? "about"
View attachment 2458273
blaiser
View attachment 2458274
too
View attachment 2458277

Considering we waited like a year for an update, this is entirely unacceptable. Dev had more than enough time to proofread.

 

[Big Rooster]

You're really asking if I'm a native English speaker because I made a couple typos? Who are you comparing me to? When I write a couple thousand words a quickly as I can, I tend to make a few mistakes here and there. I try and proof read as much as possible, but I tend to miss a few things when I'm looking at a few thousand lines. Also, in my code editor I do not have an auto correct function built in, so everything I type is written as is. But, I'll go back and the errors you caught because I am trying to be as clean as possible in my writing. When certain words come to mind on the fly like "Site" vs "Sight" I don't give it much thought I guess because typically this isn't a mistake I would think I'd make. However I guess it does slip past me.

maybe ask someone to proofread the script

 

[Krynh]

maybe ask someone to proofread the script

Typing it out in a word processor with spell checker before doing the code would solve a lot of the easy ones.

 

[GuybrushPeepwood]

I liked it so far, hope we get some action soon Don't let it bring you down, good luck.

 

[muffinxz]

Guys who gives a f about the script if you understand what he meant ? Give the man some breathing jeez

 

[Vleder]

Something
View attachment 2458075
[...]
too
View attachment 2458277

 

[Samuel Hidayat]

Guys who gives a f about the script if you understand what he meant ? Give the man some breathing jeez

People with standards care.

 

[Samuel Hidayat]

blaiser

Blazer is correct. Blaiser doesn't even exist in any English dictionary.

 

[Samuel Hidayat]

Use third person. This isn't the MC
"Claire looks at herself in the mirror"

"Claire looks into the mirror and contemplates"

"Claire takes a second to put on the chains..."

"Claire takes a photo of herself in the chains for Max..."

"Claire finishes changing and heads out"

This is a multi protag game, so Claire is an MC too. 1st POV would be better than 2nd POV tho.

 

[Krynh]

Blazer is correct. Blaiser doesn't even exist in any English dictionary.

Whoops. Somehow I became French. good catch

 

[Krynh]

This is a multi protag game, so Claire is an MC too. 1st POV would be better than 2nd POV tho.

I learnt that afterwards. However in previous claire scenes he's used third person so needs to be consistent. As it is 99% of all game time is with MaleMC

 

[Krynh]

Guys who gives a f about the script if you understand what he meant ? Give the man some breathing jeez

Standards matter. If you want to be taken seriously you need to write correctly when making a game.

 

[Samuel Hidayat]

Somehow I became French.

My condolences, but there's no cure for being French.

 

[ManifestDream]

Serious question, I'm assuming the premature ejaculation thing is only part of the NTR story line? Like it's the reason why the NTR happens? It can't be part of the vanilla route right?

I only played vanilla part and he's a fast shooter there too.

 

[TheTypist]

Guys I promise the fast shooter part is over with lol

 

[TheTypist]

New poll is up for the next 24 hours, please participate as I'll be finishing the script in the next 48 hours. Progress is moving extremely quick.

 

[ozzo]

New poll is up for the next 24 hours, please participate as I'll be finishing the script in the next 48 hours. Progress is moving extremely quick.

Question about the Zoey NTR path, will she and Clair be with the same guy or will you go down the 'The adventures couple' path where there is a new dick every update?

 

[TheTypist]

Question about the Zoey NTR path, will she and Clair be with the same guy or will you go down the 'The adventures couple' path where there is a new dick every update?

I have planned 3 separate males aside from the MC to be options in later updates. As things branch out and progress it'll allow the story to come together and make more sense with a tight nit group rather than a bunch of strangers all the time. It makes the writing aspect more fluid for me and planning is always better this way as far as it goes for me.

 

[ozzo]

I have planned 3 separate males aside from the MC to be options in later updates. As things branch out and progress it'll allow the story to come together and make more sense with a tight nit group rather than a bunch of strangers all the time. It makes the writing aspect more fluid for me and planning is always better this way as far as it goes for me.

Will we have the option to get the sister to do the same guy at the same time?