RexGenocide

Member
Aug 11, 2017
230
357
Disclaimer - i'm drunk and maby should be more diplomatic, or may be not, i don't know.
Hi Dev, that was a nice update.
Just have an urge for a bit of crytisism and one lorewise a question.
1:I'm not sure, but it seams that translation became worth comparing to previous chapter.
2: 1683059662800.png
The chair on the left and the butt on the right are too big.
And now for the lorewise question.
I have my assumptions, why you chose spiders as original form of dark ones, but if I as an MC would ask Noel about why does she looks like a giant spider and if normal spiders have any relations to the dark ones, what would she reply?
 
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Berkili4

Member
Game Developer
Mar 28, 2023
272
980
Disclaimer - i'm drunk and maby should be more diplomatic, or may be not, i don't know.
Hi Dev, that was a nice update.
Just have an urge for a bit of crytisism and one lorewise a question.
1:I'm not sure, but it seams that translation became worth comparing to previous chapter.
2: View attachment 2590933
The chair on the left and the butt on the right are too big.
And now for the lorewise question.
I have my assumptions, why you chose spiders as original form of dark ones, but if I as an MC would ask Noel about why does she looks like a giant spider and if normal spiders have any relations to the dark ones, what would she reply?
1. yeah sorry about that, english is not my native language and the text in the novel is a mix of Deepl Grammarly and my own knowledge.
If you have suggestions for improvement feel free to send them to me.
2: Haha that's funny because the chairs and characters are actually on their normal scale, but thanks for looking at the pictures so closely that you notice something like that, it's good to know that there is someone who examines your work so carefully.

to the lore question: I have an extra discord channel(I could use some traffic there, so if you could ask the there question again , I would be very grateful.) for this but I'll be happy to answer it here.
First of all, only Noel and Nael's true form is that of a big spider. Tessah, Eda, etc... have different ones.
If you would ask Noel about spiders, she would say: Not we look like spiders but spiders look like us. My sister and are the epitome of fear. Spiders took our shape to take advantage of that, and the reason many people are afraid of spiders is that they copied our appearance. Like the Hoverfly and the wasp.

thank you for your interest in my work.
 
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hofom77573

Member
Apr 17, 2021
343
541
1. yeah sorry about that, english is not my native language and the text in the novel is a mix of Deepl Grammarly and my own knowledge.
If you have suggestions for improvement feel free to send them to me.
Well you should capitalize names, beginning of sentences, and I. The character names and lower i was getting to me so I made a simple script to fix that. To be fair I've seen translations that were far worse so good job!
 

Berkili4

Member
Game Developer
Mar 28, 2023
272
980
Well you should capitalize names, beginning of sentences, and I. The character names and lower i was getting to me so I made a simple script to fix that. To be fair I've seen translations that were far worse so good job!
How nice of you to create something like this, I did not expect that. thank you very much
 
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TigerWolfe

Engaged Member
Oct 19, 2022
2,559
4,856
There's a misplaced slide when Jackie tests MC Amy's text slide pops up momentarily.

Really enjoyed the story and the English is good enough if you clean up the misspellings and miscapitalizations.
 

BlasKyau

Devoted Member
Jun 26, 2018
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Whether they are LIs or not, in a harem game it's a terrible idea to include scenes where guys other than the MC have sex with girls, hopefully anonymous. Including a sex scene of an antagonist with someone is basically a doubly lousy idea (it's a sex scene between a girl meant to be disliked and a guy who isn't the MC, two negatives)
 

Berkili4

Member
Game Developer
Mar 28, 2023
272
980
There's a misplaced slide when Jackie tests MC Amy's text slide pops up momentarily.

Really enjoyed the story and the English is good enough if you clean up the misspellings and miscapitalizations.
Ty for the praise. Yeah will update today or tomorrow with some quality improvements. Grammer and the picture
 
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Berkili4

Member
Game Developer
Mar 28, 2023
272
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Compressed versions are now online.

Some quality of life improvements have been made to the game.

Minor grammar corrections.
Added a theme to the main menu.
And connected my social media to the game.

Since my upload speed is atrocious, I only uploaded it to itch.io.
Itch.io-Butler allows me to upload just the changes so I don't have to upload the whole file.

But these changes are minor, no reason to download it again if you have already played through the game.

And thanks to hofom77573 who helped me with a script.
 

Berkili4

Member
Game Developer
Mar 28, 2023
272
980
So Jackie is not a love interest? Can she become one? I don't really care if she had done things before or the handjob thing. The story is really good.
Hey, im glad that you liked the story.

Currently that is not planned, but who knows what the future brings.
 
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Nobles

Active Member
Apr 15, 2022
736
769
Wanted to say this game was intersting and I thought I was liking where it was going. , I liked Noel. And a few other stuff I would of would of mentioned in a proper post once I was up with it. I do love spider girls.

But getting to that shitty ending, just doesnt want to make me play anymore, that was the best they could write? wtf was that. Why a fucking game over. Just left a sour taste in my mouth I suppose.
So MC dies like alooser and Noel forgets everything. Fucking great. Thats all he was worth.


tbh
Whether they are LIs or not, in a harem game it's a terrible idea to include scenes where guys other than the MC have sex with girls, hopefully anonymous. Including a sex scene of an antagonist with someone is basically a doubly lousy idea (it's a sex scene between a girl meant to be disliked and a guy who isn't the MC, two negatives)
Theres nothing wrong with that, when the MC will make the girl his,, or steal her from others in future events. Sometimes girls come in pre-existing relationships, as the story begins.. Deal with it.

Bummer to hear Jackies not intended to be in the LIs/harem. So this will be the same for other Darkness'es (im quite fond of monster girls) . Guess I can leave content, this aint it.
 
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BlasKyau

Devoted Member
Jun 26, 2018
8,030
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Theres nothing wrong. with that. when the MC will make the girl his,, or steal her in future events. Sometimes girls come in pre-existing relationships. as the story begins.. Deal with it
The bad idea is to include the sex scenes of guys other than the MC an girls, especially if they are going to be LIs. They can have whatever past (except being sluts that fucks all that have a dick), but including sex scenes between LIs and other guys is a bad idea no matter how you look at it. And including scenes of guys with anonymous girls is a waste of time, since these are scenes that most fans of the harem genre don't want to see. Including a scene of an antagonist (who may become LI in the future) with a guy isn't a good idea at all. Unless the intent is to make players dislike the girl, then it's a good move.

Personally the only scenes I want to see in the game are the ones between the MC and the LIs, I don't want to see any scenes that include a guy other than the MC, and just in case, I'd rather they can be avoided. In fact, many voyeur scenes, even avoidable, surely make me wonder if the game is really worth it.
 

Berkili4

Member
Game Developer
Mar 28, 2023
272
980
Wanted to say this game was intersting and I thought I was liking where it was going. , I liked Noel. And a few other stuff I would of would of mentioned in a proper post once I was up with it. I do love spider girls.

But getting to that shitty ending, just doesnt want to make me play anymore, that was the best they could write? wtf was that. Why a fucking game over. Just left a sour taste in my mouth I suppose.
So MC dies like alooser and Noel forgets everything. Fucking great. Thats all he was worth.


tbh

Theres nothing wrong with that, when the MC will make the girl his,, or steal her from others in future events. Sometimes girls come in pre-existing relationships, as the story begins.. Deal with it.

Bummer to hear Jackies not intended to be in the LIs/harem. So this will be the same for other Darkness'es (im quite fond of monster girls) . Guess I can leave content, this aint it.
Hey first of all thank you for playing.

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BlasKyau

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Jun 26, 2018
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I haven't made much progress (I think) but the mere possibility of she being an LI disgusts me.

Hey first of all thank you for playing.

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It's just a comment about how I play, it's not a criticism or anything like that. I'm said it in advance.

I only see one ending, so if I happen to get to a bad ending, that's where I'll end the game, and I certainly won't mind if it leads me to the scene where I have to choose again.

I don't remember what the game was called, but I started one that had a bad ending on the first choice you had to make. I finished the game in 5 minutes and I certainly never went back to see what it was like after that ending (and that which brought me to the previous screen to choose again, what I chose is to close the game, I already had an ending, so the game was over for me)
 
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4.30 star(s) 95 Votes