So, another rando throwing his opinions on this thing:
- Wake up, meet & peek on sister, meet & peek on mom, end. Right now that's not even a demo or intro, as what we know from this game is based the OP summary and tags, not the file per se. Getting more of that summary into the actual intro is a must, imho.
- The designs are fine overall. A somewhat more petite physique and less angular face might go better with the "schoolgirl/younger sister" look you're going for, but that is a matter of opinion and i admit subjective.
- The abrasiveness in the dialogues felt gratuitous, specially for the mom and to be honest, lampshading it (to maybe somewhat justify/humanize her in the future) doesn't help with just making it roll. Being blunt (and somewhat rude), kind of cliche of some lazy writing that frequently pops in incest games. Also, let's be honest here, they are abrasive to "justify" the MC's future manipulation/mistreatment of them more than anything, no?
Personally, i would twist things a bit - no, they are
not his real family, just a legal guardian exploiting his situation for money and a free house servant, explains their atittude with no need for convoluted excuses and the situation would make the discovery of his powers and messing with them that much sweeter. Real incest can come up
later, by leaving the matter of his
true family open and to be explored/made up in the future - as far as the MC has known, it was always just him and dad.
- People have already done a bunch of references to South Park's "Ginger Kids" episode (that i did
not know before reading this thread), but ironically greek/slavic folklore about redheads being people fated to turn into vampires is an actual thing. Thought it would be fun to point this out.
If his dad was/is a vampire (is he really dead or in hiding?) why a letter and not some more dramatic reveal, like weird dreams/nightmares awakening his powers, being visited by a servant/familiar pet from dad, coming across a hunter or some other supernatural being? Possibilities are many.
Just my ramblings of the moment, hope it's more helpful than "you have to sit down and rethink everything" or somesuch. Good luck.
PS: Only now came across the "scenes list txt" that seems to give a summary of what you have already set up. Will read that file and further comment/review later.