- Feb 1, 2017
- 3,016
- 32,842
- Thread starter Hitman955
- Start date
Call it dev stupidity
I fixed it, but I forgot to copy+paste the new code over the old one.
Thanks. Lucky I had a save that was two days before the weekend.....
- Jun 28, 2017
- 92
- 123
I just binged through the whole thing and I absolutely must hand in something like a review and/or constructive criticism. So this goes to you, Ptolemy:
First of all, I loved this. The writing - It's funny, it's hilarious, I love every single character in the game. The Lex Luthor scene had me in stiches. You are a brilliant writer - Of something that isn't porn. Because my dick twitched about twice during the whole game. I enjoyed myself a great deal playing through it, but I couldn't not nut to any of it.
Now the question is, why is that. I think the first part was that within 5 minutes of playing the game, you're boning the secretary. Pacing, brother! Don't do that. I couldn't even NOT bone her and at the beginning of the scene I was still convinced this was some kind of Trap (as in: Tranny) because of the manface on Andrea.
Which brings me to my next point: The renders - There's so many bad ones, I was laughing almost as much at them as I was at the writing. The renders are terrible, but please, do not change a thing! Fuck the renders. Phone them in, crank them out, if you spend 5 minutes on renders that you could spend on your writing, you've just wasted 5 minutes. This isn't really criticism or anything, I just want to touch that subject.
But where I believe I can help you most is by telling you this: Your life sim is terrible. Nothing is more of a turn off than having to bang a girl 50 times to get her sex points high enough so you can see the next scene WITH A DIFFERENT GIRL. This life sim code? KILL IT WITH FIRE! Rewrite the whole thing to be just a classic, straight forward VN where all you do is choose what girl you have your next encounter with. It'll be much more pleasant for you to write new scenes, and much more pleasant for the player. The storylines are too intertwined and ultimately linear to make any sense as a life sim. You already got so many great scenes. Scenes is where you ROCK. Life sim is where you SUCK. Maybe add a gallery mode so players can review their favorite scenes. It'll instantly make pretty much everything about the game much better.
And finally, the characters. They're all so adorable and alive with their funny dialogues, even when they are in desperate need of a professional spell checker. I'm 'dyeing' to see you get enough Patreonbucks to hire a copy editor.
Dana is pretty much perfect if bland, but the story around her is paced badly, mostly because it's shoehorned into an inept life sim. If anything to improve her: She needs to be more horny and less in control of herself, and as a consequence more ashamed of herself, to make her a central figure in a game where you're supposed to nut. An appealing female character must always balance shame and shamelessness, which Dana never does - She is never ashamed, and thus she is never shameless. But essentially she serves only as a vehicle to explore the more colorful character cast.
The supporting characters all have, in my opinion, a grave flaw that makes them unappealing to me as a choice for "Beard" or otherwise friends of the incestuous couple, if still great to read.
Andrea - Oh I know girls like that in real life, the sort that literally regress to being 10 years old, so emotionally needy, can't stand them crazy bitches. You know the sort where you have a friendly romp through the bedroom, and afterwards she curls up in a ball in the sheets and starts crying. And asked why, "Oh it's nothing, I always cry after sex because it's so nice". JESUS I DONT MIND MAKING A GIRL CRY DURING, BUT NOT AFTER SEX. But apart from my personal dislike of IRL girls like that, Andrea comes off as alive and compelling, just begging for someone to fix her incredibly annoying emotional neediness and make her regress to at most 15 years where girls can at least be naughty and somewhat independent, but still insecure enough to be cute.
As for the pacing issue at the beginning with Andrea, I guess what's happened is that you started writing her character interactions at the very beginning and basically didn't know what you were doing yet so you'll probably change things around when you go back to writing the beginning of the game. Just don't force me to fuck her in the first 5 minutes of the game. And how retarded is Dana if she thinks Andrea might be CEO material?
Jessica - So when this character finally showed up for me (after hours of grinding up useless stats without hitting the right triggers) I immediately pegged her character. So here we have a lesbian, a gold star lesbian even, who - in the heat of the moment - decides to give up her gold star by banging the Brother of the girl she's been lusting after for years. And to do that, she puts on the airs of a dominatrix. GEE I WONDER WHAT PSYCHOLOGY COULD BE AT WORK HERE!
Obviously as a gold star lesbian she would be extremely insecure engaging in sexual relations with a dude, especially one she barely knows (or only knows of him that he's a big womanizer and yet still wants to plow her bald ass) and overcompensate this insecurity with her habitual dominatrix act, which indubitably would have helped her a great deal securing bangable, masochist-tending, bi-curious girls. What the Jessica Plotline needs more than anything is a way to tame her. She calls you "kitten" - that is obvious projection. She is the one who wants to be the kitten, she is the one who finally wants to feel like a girl after she spent so many years building up her tough guy / dominatrix façade. Also, I kinda dig bald chicks. Just saying. Just don't dig the eternal dominatrix act. Thankfully you can tell her to tone the act down (or at least not crank it up) at some point. I can get behind worshipping a girl like that for a bit, for the reason that she's otherwise too insecure - but that shit has to stop eventually and she'll have to learn to give herself into my capable hands.
Maria & John Finally we have the swinger couple. I guess some would say that to fix them, all you need to do is shoot John, but me personally, I greatly enjoy the dynamics of John & Maria, especially as the MC can tell John that he'll tear his dick off and feed it back to him if he so much as touches the Sister. Beautiful. Bravo, my man. I feel understood.
tl:dr:
- Keep up writing funny scenes, you're great and that's what you're great at!
- Screw the renders, the eyes are on the text box anyways.
- Rework the whole thing into a linear, branching VN and remove the "life sim" stuff that doesn't work
- I'm fucking serious about that - "remove the life sim part" - which is why I'm writing it twice
- Let me tame Jessica!
First of all, I loved this. The writing - It's funny, it's hilarious, I love every single character in the game. The Lex Luthor scene had me in stiches. You are a brilliant writer - Of something that isn't porn. Because my dick twitched about twice during the whole game. I enjoyed myself a great deal playing through it, but I couldn't not nut to any of it.
Now the question is, why is that. I think the first part was that within 5 minutes of playing the game, you're boning the secretary. Pacing, brother! Don't do that. I couldn't even NOT bone her and at the beginning of the scene I was still convinced this was some kind of Trap (as in: Tranny) because of the manface on Andrea.
Which brings me to my next point: The renders - There's so many bad ones, I was laughing almost as much at them as I was at the writing. The renders are terrible, but please, do not change a thing! Fuck the renders. Phone them in, crank them out, if you spend 5 minutes on renders that you could spend on your writing, you've just wasted 5 minutes. This isn't really criticism or anything, I just want to touch that subject.
But where I believe I can help you most is by telling you this: Your life sim is terrible. Nothing is more of a turn off than having to bang a girl 50 times to get her sex points high enough so you can see the next scene WITH A DIFFERENT GIRL. This life sim code? KILL IT WITH FIRE! Rewrite the whole thing to be just a classic, straight forward VN where all you do is choose what girl you have your next encounter with. It'll be much more pleasant for you to write new scenes, and much more pleasant for the player. The storylines are too intertwined and ultimately linear to make any sense as a life sim. You already got so many great scenes. Scenes is where you ROCK. Life sim is where you SUCK. Maybe add a gallery mode so players can review their favorite scenes. It'll instantly make pretty much everything about the game much better.
And finally, the characters. They're all so adorable and alive with their funny dialogues, even when they are in desperate need of a professional spell checker. I'm 'dyeing' to see you get enough Patreonbucks to hire a copy editor.
Dana is pretty much perfect if bland, but the story around her is paced badly, mostly because it's shoehorned into an inept life sim. If anything to improve her: She needs to be more horny and less in control of herself, and as a consequence more ashamed of herself, to make her a central figure in a game where you're supposed to nut. An appealing female character must always balance shame and shamelessness, which Dana never does - She is never ashamed, and thus she is never shameless. But essentially she serves only as a vehicle to explore the more colorful character cast.
The supporting characters all have, in my opinion, a grave flaw that makes them unappealing to me as a choice for "Beard" or otherwise friends of the incestuous couple, if still great to read.
Andrea - Oh I know girls like that in real life, the sort that literally regress to being 10 years old, so emotionally needy, can't stand them crazy bitches. You know the sort where you have a friendly romp through the bedroom, and afterwards she curls up in a ball in the sheets and starts crying. And asked why, "Oh it's nothing, I always cry after sex because it's so nice". JESUS I DONT MIND MAKING A GIRL CRY DURING, BUT NOT AFTER SEX. But apart from my personal dislike of IRL girls like that, Andrea comes off as alive and compelling, just begging for someone to fix her incredibly annoying emotional neediness and make her regress to at most 15 years where girls can at least be naughty and somewhat independent, but still insecure enough to be cute.
As for the pacing issue at the beginning with Andrea, I guess what's happened is that you started writing her character interactions at the very beginning and basically didn't know what you were doing yet so you'll probably change things around when you go back to writing the beginning of the game. Just don't force me to fuck her in the first 5 minutes of the game. And how retarded is Dana if she thinks Andrea might be CEO material?
Jessica - So when this character finally showed up for me (after hours of grinding up useless stats without hitting the right triggers) I immediately pegged her character. So here we have a lesbian, a gold star lesbian even, who - in the heat of the moment - decides to give up her gold star by banging the Brother of the girl she's been lusting after for years. And to do that, she puts on the airs of a dominatrix. GEE I WONDER WHAT PSYCHOLOGY COULD BE AT WORK HERE!
Obviously as a gold star lesbian she would be extremely insecure engaging in sexual relations with a dude, especially one she barely knows (or only knows of him that he's a big womanizer and yet still wants to plow her bald ass) and overcompensate this insecurity with her habitual dominatrix act, which indubitably would have helped her a great deal securing bangable, masochist-tending, bi-curious girls. What the Jessica Plotline needs more than anything is a way to tame her. She calls you "kitten" - that is obvious projection. She is the one who wants to be the kitten, she is the one who finally wants to feel like a girl after she spent so many years building up her tough guy / dominatrix façade. Also, I kinda dig bald chicks. Just saying. Just don't dig the eternal dominatrix act. Thankfully you can tell her to tone the act down (or at least not crank it up) at some point. I can get behind worshipping a girl like that for a bit, for the reason that she's otherwise too insecure - but that shit has to stop eventually and she'll have to learn to give herself into my capable hands.
Maria & John Finally we have the swinger couple. I guess some would say that to fix them, all you need to do is shoot John, but me personally, I greatly enjoy the dynamics of John & Maria, especially as the MC can tell John that he'll tear his dick off and feed it back to him if he so much as touches the Sister. Beautiful. Bravo, my man. I feel understood.
tl:dr:
- Keep up writing funny scenes, you're great and that's what you're great at!
- Screw the renders, the eyes are on the text box anyways.
- Rework the whole thing into a linear, branching VN and remove the "life sim" stuff that doesn't work
- I'm fucking serious about that - "remove the life sim part" - which is why I'm writing it twice
- Let me tame Jessica!
Last edited:
- Feb 3, 2017
- 1,963
- 21,057
- Jul 4, 2017
- 987
- 687
I don't agree with most of what you wrote.
It seems you want a completely another game.
To me this game is great for what it is trying to be.
It seems you have missed the point.
- May 4, 2017
- 737
- 2,132
If, like me, you have saved too late and are already in the Dana & Andrea's event, and don't want to start all over again here is a simple solution:
in the RenPy console (SHIFT O during the game), type
It works well and you can launch the Maria's event directly.
Later, you'll just have to go back to Dana's office to "Talk about going on a weekend with Andrea".
in the RenPy console (SHIFT O during the game), type
$ Danavar6 = False
$ bAndreaafterrand1 = False
jump morning
And ESC to close the console.$ bAndreaafterrand1 = False
jump morning
It works well and you can launch the Maria's event directly.
Later, you'll just have to go back to Dana's office to "Talk about going on a weekend with Andrea".
My thoughts exactly.
It's a great game and apart from bugs, nothing needs to be changed =)
- Jul 13, 2017
- 552
- 785
well, here's an obvious question, and I'm sure there's an obvious answer somewhere in this thread. is there a walkthrough yet?
- May 22, 2017
- 3,160
- 7,807
Some of the proposed fixes are not implemented or not completely implemented in the new version:
- Milosh/Mila/Michela name fix: While the characters.rpy and Danalabels.rpy are fixed now, in marialabels.rpy in the dialog with Josephine and Michela (lines 2712-2749), "mi" hasn't been replaced with the new "mich" variable, so Michela is still displayed as Mila. Obviously this isn't Mila there. Fixed.
- "bedroom labels.rpy" line 141 hasn't been fixed, so Andrea will most likely still pop up in the mornings. Fixed.
- A fix proposed by Charolastra in Danalabels.rpy hasn't been implemented and 2Dana1weekend74 image ("dana/week1/d74.png" image file) still skipped.
Original script starting at line 5862 looks like this:
Charolastra proposed to change it by adding 2Dana1weekend74 to the empty street scene (as the text describes) and change the last line to hide it, since 2Dana1weekend73 was already hidden before the street scene even started. I think that dissolve would also be nice to add to 2Dana1weekend74. So the fixed script now looks like this:
That's it. For now.
Download attachment and extract to your "game" folder, overwrite original files.
Greatest respect and thank you to Ptolemy for keeping up the good work and big thanks to you guys for giving us access to it!
- Milosh/Mila/Michela name fix: While the characters.rpy and Danalabels.rpy are fixed now, in marialabels.rpy in the dialog with Josephine and Michela (lines 2712-2749), "mi" hasn't been replaced with the new "mich" variable, so Michela is still displayed as Mila. Obviously this isn't Mila there. Fixed.
- "bedroom labels.rpy" line 141 hasn't been fixed, so Andrea will most likely still pop up in the mornings. Fixed.
- A fix proposed by Charolastra in Danalabels.rpy hasn't been implemented and 2Dana1weekend74 image ("dana/week1/d74.png" image file) still skipped.
Original script starting at line 5862 looks like this:
Code:
scene street
with dissolve
c "\" Am I dressed properly?\" You say burying your face in her hair."
d "\" Yes, but don't do that.\""
d "\" The driver knows us.\""
c "\" Fine.\""
hide 2Dana1weekend73
Code:
scene street
with dissolve
show 2Dana1weekend74 at center
with dissolve
c "\" Am I dressed properly?\" You say burying your face in her hair."
d "\" Yes, but don't do that.\""
d "\" The driver knows us.\""
c "\" Fine.\""
hide 2Dana1weekend74Download attachment and extract to your "game" folder, overwrite original files.
Greatest respect and thank you to Ptolemy for keeping up the good work and big thanks to you guys for giving us access to it!
Last edited:
Nah I call it dev distraction with a greater amount of work to come out. you do great things, and some things will slip by the way side so I thought I'd just let you know what I just saw and you can fix it the next time you push out an update. it's not game breaking (just keeps adding affection to andrea!! hehehe).Call it dev stupidity
I fixed it, but I forgot to copy+paste the new code over the old one.
@Ptolemy Just went through the new content, and I see where you shifted from light hearted to dark... but i think perhaps you might want to extend the scene a bit more because it makes chris look like an uncaring bastard to just go home after all that and leave her hubby to pick up the pieces. I would think a better way to round out might be to bring all three back to one place (perhaps chris' place) and both of them help her recover better? and perhaps having dana come in and help out? hmmm just a few thoughts there.. perhaps that's where she starts to want to "let John" do her hehe and it could also lead into the Dana-Chris-Maria-John get away? just a few thoughts. well done!
hehe and it could also lead into the Dana-Chris-Maria-John get away? just a few thoughts. well done!
- May 20, 2017
- 5,725
- 14,849
@Milos: Hi. Dude, how are you, I wait all fine, Thanks a lot for this game and many Thanks too: @TechCarmin, Pepé Le Pew and @Bip
- Feb 3, 2017
- 1,963
- 21,057
Ohh... thanks for pointing out that i forgot to change my username in OP...
Don't go by that username anymore
- May 20, 2017
- 5,725
- 14,849
Well, thanks a lot for you too, Dude. And don't forget to change the name.Ohh... thanks for pointing out that i forgot to change my username in OP...
then you went on a lunch date with maria? as well as potentially to her house which they then went to the stripclub? because you have to do all of that before you can take dana to the strip club because maria is the one that introduces you to mila, her father who runs the club and thus why they would possibly know to call you maria's pet.
- Jun 3, 2017
- 200
- 5,670
yeah i made the lunch with maria and the date when you meet mila but never take dana to strip club but not more and the strippers that appear never seen them before (i guess the name of one was josephine) and chris go and ask them " Excuse me girls. Do you remember me?"then you went on a lunch date with maria? as well as potentially to her house which they then went to the stripclub? because you have to do all of that before you can take dana to the strip club because maria is the one that introduces you to mila, her father who runs the club and thus why they would possibly know to call you maria's pet.
yes when you first go on a date with maria to her home (not dinner) you get much of that data and that is when maria introduces you to the propietor and that's where it comes from (the date not just the lunch)