3.30 star(s) 8 Votes

Elvolganta

New Member
Jun 2, 2020
8
16
I didn't get any latino vibes from either the mother nor the MC.. While the models in general needs a bit of work to their faces, most of their bodies seem fine to me, though the older niece Mi..-something seemed like an adult just made smaller, maybe work with proportions with that one? (Also they were hovering above the ground)
Be careful when adding loli content btw. if you intend for us (the players) to be able to have them join the harem, which it seems you do plan for the future, then you might be better off adding that bit as a mod, as the admins in here are striking down hard on that type of content :sneaky:

Please! Proofread before uploading :p In a textbased game, the written word is ever so important ;)

As for the story.. I see what you are building towards, and I get the type of story you wish to tell with this setup.. I am very much missing options though, I as well as everyone else playing an AVN want to make our own choices, shaping the story to what we want (within the confines of the story of course), they would also have to change something when making one choice over another :WeSmart::giggle:

Beside this, I think you are on the right track and I would love to give the game another shot, when you get an update out :D
 
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Skeltom

Engaged Member
Oct 9, 2017
2,405
2,816
I was messing around with the images in the animation folder and just a suggestion, you may want to switch to making simple animations in a loop going forward. Just to make it a bit more fluid.

I'm no master or anything but something along the lines of this that I made with the image sequence.

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Sethus1

Member
Jul 1, 2018
167
145
give feedback
My feedback. Focus on grammar and typos, there's a lot of them. Try not to use Urban language coz' some ain't gonna understand whatcha writin' ;)
Depends on the type of a game, it still might be a great game even if the graphic are not the best, but the story behind it and scenes (animations?) are well-written and shown.

Next thing if you don't want to have youd game going down - disclaimer about the age of characters, how old you shall be to play the game and if you plan to put there something regarding incest, you have several options:
1. Make girls older
2. Leave them as it is and say they're at least 18 (no one will believe that, but that's some kind of a coverage)
3. Make girls older and prepare an incest patch which will make them younger (if that's what you want to achieve)
4. Don't use Patreon (if you planned) if you want to have those lolis involved in action, because Patreon will remove your game from platform.
 

Zontany

Well-Known Member
Mar 13, 2018
1,824
680
I'll give it a shot. The plot seems interesting enough, don't know why the police want you to finish where your brother left off from. Seems like a bad idea, unless the MC was a police officer at some point. Plus, I like the models.
 
Dec 15, 2017
254
330
That looks like a weird font render issue. For shits and giggles you can try to put this in the game folder to see if it helps but that's strange.
Hey Skeltom,

I just wanted to let you know that file worked. I appreciate it. I would have responded earlier, but I was on vacation. Thanks again for the help.
 

myuhinny

Devoted Member
Sep 7, 2017
8,364
6,362
I named the MC Hobo as he looks like he should be living in a card board box even his shirt looks like it was found on a street somewhere and he decided to pick it up and put it on.

Is the gang member from outer space as that weapons looks more like a lazer type gun then a pistol? Did that police officer come from the ghetto because he's holding his gun like a gangster. MC should of just ran I doubt he'd be able to hit the broad side of a barn aiming that way. The girls looked fine to me.
 

Azord

New Member
Apr 21, 2018
2
2
Hey MacroxssZ, I attempted to update some of your writing. I got as far as halfway through the first scene with Jaime before I couldn't anymore. I've attached my version of the script file.

Here are some pointers I have after looking through some things.
  • Apostrophes are for contractions and possession, not plurals.
  • Run things through a spellchecker.
  • Don't mix words and actions.
  • Most importantly, show, don't tell. Don't say she is talking sarcastically, her words should be sarcastic. Don't say she does something lustfully, show it on her face.

Best of luck in the future!
 

melidebby

Newbie
Feb 15, 2019
19
4
Does this have any loli content? I looked through the images folder and only saw a few clothed lolis
 

KopengaKris

Member
Sep 21, 2018
221
323
well story typical lame crap criminals are smarter than that... but can ignore that typical dumb ass explanation by retarded cop... but who names their daughter Jasper
Yeah, kinda reacted to the name aswell.

Straight from wiki: Jasper is a masculine given name commonly believed to be of Persian origin, meaning "Treasurer".

Maybe....she has a penis? *Spoiler alert!* XD
 
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3.30 star(s) 8 Votes