Nah, not serious. I had a potential opportunity for immigration (if I inquired) four years ago. Back before covid and while much of my family was still alive, so I didn't give it pause. Now, I would definitely at least consider the possibility and inquire.
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I think John's original story on literotica is more believable. With that said, converting all that to a graphic novel is a lot of work and requires a lot of 3D assets. I understand why some of the details get left by the wayside. An example from the original story would be the police body cams. If the police are recording it, then their search must be legit, right? But to make those part of your renders, you would either have to custom build them or buy some that are already made (My google search couldn't find any). Is the time and money best spent elsewhere? That's a choice the Dev has to make.
Just my conjecture.
Yea, but there are easy things you could do to get over that. For example, Parker's dad could be involved in some shady stuff, and the cops found out about it somehow, and bam, there you have a simple plot element that you never have to expand on as he's basically never present in the story, and Melissa would ACTUALLY be on the hook in a way she couldn't get out of without jeopardizing her family. It's just such a lazy and destructive piece to the whole framework and the fact that everything is decent annoys me. Again, the fact that this is otherwise well-written is what makes this element of the story so bad. If it was any of the typo-ridden dime-a-dozen fetish mills that get dumped on this site every day I wouldn't say a thing.I think John's original story on literotica is more believable. With that said, converting all that to a graphic novel is a lot of work and requires a lot of 3D assets. I understand why some of the details get left by the wayside. An example from the original story would be the police body cams. If the police are recording it, then their search must be legit, right? But to make those part of your renders, you would either have to custom build them or buy some that are already made (My google search couldn't find any). Is the time and money best spent elsewhere? That's a choice the Dev has to make.
Just my conjecture.
Wow, ok. Sorry about your family. Hope all is well with you otherwise.
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I’d rather see a hustler photo shoot with Carl’s mom or Parker’s mom!Would be nice to see another Carl's photoshoot with Becky but this time rather "Hustler" than "Playboy"
- Jun 25, 2017
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I'll just remind the home audience that:With that said, converting all that to a graphic novel is a lot of work and requires a lot of 3D assets. I understand why some of the details get left by the wayside. An example from the original story would be the police body cams. If the police are recording it, then their search must be legit, right? But to make those part of your renders, you would either have to custom build them or buy some that are already made (My google search couldn't find any). Is the time and money best spent elsewhere? That's a choice the Dev has to make.
Just my conjecture.
- This wasn't in any way intended to be a transcription of the Literotica story. Maybe "inspired by" would be the closest that the two were intended to come to one another. This really is, and always was intended to be, a different (albeit similar) story.
- In support of that statement, I'll point out that all of the script through about Chapter 4 was written by JohnCBB, the author of the Literotica story. If he'd just wanted to re-tell that story in graphic form, this would have evolved very differently.
Also, this story (as the OP and some of the first chapter text clearly indicates) is not set in the current day, so police bodycams weren't around. (Or, at least, not at all common.) Again, JohnCBB's choice. That's also the reason there weren't 3,281 cell phone videos of the "in front of the school" encounter. So, the lack of bodycams in the renders had nothing to do with the complexity of creating an appropriate asset. Conjecture incorrect.
Sigh. OK, I get it. Paragraphs and paragraphs about how flawed the story's premise is. Thank you for stopping by, and hopefully you can find something else you find more palatable.
Pardon my grumpiness. Back to my ch11a renders.
I dont see what is the point of the constant comparison with real life. An artist draw from real life but adds its own flavor, on top of that is rich story not ours, we can enrich it to certain extent with new ideas and constructive critism but its a work of fiction, not everything has to be 1 to 1 with the real world. Meaby in this world everyone is corrupt starting from congress and they did not allow to pass the law to have bodycams on cops. Since is fiction just roll with it.
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Please ignore the naysayers. They are probably teenagers or maybe young 20 somethings. I am 34 years and I can tell you, growing up, police got away with a lot more when I was a kid. There are plenty of videos of older cops being caught on camera - TODAY - saying "if it was ten years ago..." suggesting violence on their part. This isn't some conspiracy or wide-held secret; it's public knowledge at this point. Again, the younger audience may not understand that so for them its a hard concept to grasp but your story is, sadly, pretty accurate at least for America assuming it took place circa 1990's to early 2000's.
Sorry if I upset you, wasn't my intent. It's just that there are few enough stories on here that have decent enough writing to even bother discussing, and I think the writing is good. I just wish that element of the story were slightly different, and I put a slight variation that would make it feel more coherent in a spoiler on the previous page as an example. Keep up the good work. I'll probably get back to it at some point soon, the story is great overall.
I'm 30, and I know police get away with all sorts of things; I pay attention to police investigations and lawsuits very closely, and of course there is plenty of stuff that we'll never see that they get away with. I'm just expounding on a part of the story that I think could be a bit tighter. I'm not saying I think police are mostly good or anything stupid or naïve like that, I'm saying there could be a bit tighter logic around the abuse scheme that these cops are running considering the broader context of the story.
I'm talking about how the cops blackmail Melissa by threatening to frame her with planted weed. It'd be very easy to disprove with forensic analysis, which would be handled by federal, not local or even state authorities in the U.S. if she accused the cops of trying to frame her and their whole blackmail operation would be shutdown. Not only that, in the US we have something called consent decrees which in the context of policing places a whole police jurisdiction under federal surveillance if they've been found to be engaging in systematic abuse so if they were that sloppy IRL their whole operation would fold. Basically I'm being nitpicky about a story element because I'm way too into law/policing but it probably isn't a barrier for enjoyment for most people.
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Again, it's a work of fiction, is fake, does not have to be 100% real. As a matter of fact he could say that there are not forensic analysis in this world and who are we to say that is not true, after all is his story and is a work of fiction. Is not real. So Melissa would not accuse anyone because the author dont want it to be that way.
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Thanks. I probably shouldn't have responded in that manner, but I was in a fairly grumpy mood that day, and some of it just piqued my ire. LOL
Also, those new to the thread may not realize that, in the almost 100 pages of comments, certain things have come up again and again and again, to the point of sometimes being extremely tiresome for someone that's read every single one of them and who has to try very hard not to take some of it to heart, so I occasionally "kneejerk," for which I apologize.
As I've mentioned earlier in this thread, I'm a lot older (to borrow a Billy Joel line, "child of Eisenhower") and spent a chunk of my childhood in the South. The 90's or 2000's, while everything hmc15 says, were pretty tame when compared to the South of the 60's. This was the "Bull Connor" era. Everybody focuses on the racial aspects, but it was much broader than that. For example, Miranda warnings weren't even a "thing" yet in the early 60's, and the "you'll be provided with a lawyer if you can't afford one" was very new, so there were a LOT of police abuses that went unchecked just because there were very few checks and balances on law enforcement. Granted, society has reined in much of that, but some of my own personal history leaks through in places, even if it's somewhat misplaced in time in terms of when FF&S is set..
I'm not claiming that some of the aspects of the story are 100% realistic or historical - it is, after all, a story. Fiction. But police misconduct does exist and always has existed, so it doesn't seem to me that it requires a huge suspension of disbelief. Of course, some types of "suspension" are harder for some people than others. So be it.
Your comment about consent decrees are true - IF things go far enough through the judicial system that it's determined that there is systematic abuse. The premise here is that that's not happened - at least not yet. There was a rather cryptic comment early in JohnCBB's text that implied that the police chief was corrupt. That whole theme was never really explored - probably my fault - but the "this town is run by corrupt officials and nobody steps out of line because the world lands on them if they do" is a reasonably common plot device. Put it on me and my poor writing skills for not having managed to weave that into the narrative.
But much past that I'm not going to comment, since I try to to reveal "upcoming plot elements."
Bottom line, yoyomistro, apologies for having kind of lashed out at you. The project is obviously near and dear to my heart. I've also learned way, WAY more than you can possibly imagine about writing since JohnCBB left, and am well aware of some of the flaws in it, so I really shouldn't react like that when someone comes along and (in a well-meaning way) picks at those scabs.
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I dont know where you live but that's quite an optimistic view of authority. In America things don't work that way. Since cellphone videos and bodycams became a thing DOZENS or HUNDREDS of cops have been filmed doing many illegal things. I've attached a few clips of cops literally planting drugs. These are cops that were CAUGHT planting drugs. It still goes on, even with cellphones and bodycams, but it was FAR WORSE and MORE RAMPANT in the 1990's and early 2000's when video wasn't available...it was your word against 1+ cops...
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That is a great theoretical policy. Do you know how difficult it is to physically prove wrongdoing of ONE cop? Let alone an entire department? Most cops are just regular guys doing a 9-5 (or 7-7) but there are plenty of "bad cops" too. And the bad cops often get away illegal activity because of the badge and immunity that comes along with it.
So if this game breaks your "suspension of disbelief" over the original drug plant/bust then there are plenty of other games to explore.
I don't think you understand what I'm saying... I'm saying that cops typically target people who WON'T have the resources/incentives to pursue recourse in the federal system. Most of the time when they try to pull such things they target what they perceive to be marginalized populations, and even then they get caught when they pick the wrong person to mess with on occasion. I'm not positing a "theoretical" policy. The modern consent decree system has been in place since I think 1997, and at any given time there are 10-14 departments operating under one, and 20 something departments under active investigations, sometimes over the course of many years. I am talking about systemic abuses like the scheme posited in this story.
I'm not stupid or naïve enough to think ONE incident triggers oversight unless they are extremely egregious with copious evidence to support them. You're being selective about my point and not paying attention to the language I'm using. Many police departments in the US are overwhelmingly corrupt and we see evidence of that every day. But we know the types of neighborhoods and people they perpetrate most of that corruption against, and people like the family at the center of this story do not accede to the machinations of that in the era posited here, unless they had something to lose by challenging them on a federal level, which I why I came up with the hypothetical I did on the other page.
I emphasis the words "systemic", "scheme", "vulnerable", and "level of abuse" over my posts in this thread for a reason. A history teacher with a kid going on a scholarship to Amherst and a husband who travels for work in 2000-2003 as I'm guessing the period this story takes place in based on the cell phones and car models would contact state or even federal authorities if they were in this situation, and said authorities would definitely take a complaint from a middle/upper middle class neighborhood seriously. Forensic and other analysis could easily prove they'd never had contact with the evidence in question, it's not a case that would revolve around "hearsay". I think most people with the knowledge of the recourse available to them would take a temporary disturbance of submitting to a federal investigation over having blackmail and repeated sexual abuse hung over their head. She'd have to be a really shitty history teacher to not know the options available to her.
You're acting like I'm saying police are good/don't do these types of things when I'm not; I'm saying their scheme is sloppy and their targeting is bad. Nothing you've said rebuts that. My "theoretical" policy is one that's been pursued aggressively by every federal administration except the last one since it was put in place. This story takes place in a fictional reality concurrent with the extant reality of that era, invoking cultural elements that are relatable/placeable to anyone who was in that context, therefore I'm making arguments based on my understanding of that era and the recourse available to people at the time.
Also people keep talking about immunity cops have like it's criminal. It's not. They have something called qualified immunity in the US which only applies to CIVIL actions against INDIVIDUAL police officers, not their whole departments, and it's JUDICIAL DOCTRINE not LAW. It is up to the interpretation of an individual judge in a civil case whether that immunity applies. That doesn't stop the FBI and DOJ from showing up and slapping them under federal statutes. Again, nothing I've said is out of the norm since reforms took place in the late 90s and FBI directors and US AGs from Mueller and Reno forward have pursued their enforcement abilities under those authorities aggressively barring the last administration. I've already said my piece on this for the most part but if people would like to continue to show individual stories of officers doing shitty things which I've never said doesn't happen in response to my questions around recourse available to the characters in this story in the face of the posited abuse scheme, which is all I've ever raised issue about, please feel free to do so and I'll accede once I feel I've seen something that counters any issue I've raised.
Also again, since people don't seem to understand, I have no problem with the content of the story or its quality. This is a discussion about a plot element which is most of what I tend to do on this forum--talk about plot, writing, coding, scripting, modding, lighting, rendering, etc.
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hmc15 and yoyomistro - thank you for your dialog, and, in particular, for keeping the language within the bounds of civility. (Not everyone in the past has done that.)
I think the points on both sides have been made - certainly they have to my satisfaction. hmc15 - nobody's arguing that there aren't corrupt police officers. If there weren't, then this story's premise would be 100% unbelievable, and it probably never would have gotten off the ground. yoyomistro - you're correct that Melissa-and-company are not the type of population or in the type of community where this kind of abuse is necessarily rampant IRL, and that perhaps the inhabitants would have had options that they would have taken IRL. So, I agree that those portions of the plot require a degree of "suspension of disbelief." But, again, without that, it'd have been a very short story, right? LOL
So, thank you for your views, but I'm just going to say that I don't think that this forum is the correct place for further discussions on the state of policing in America. Please accept the story for what it is - a story (fiction) that, like many other stories, has its warts, pimples and plot holes. Maybe I'll do better next time, if there is a next time.
I think the points on both sides have been made - certainly they have to my satisfaction. hmc15 - nobody's arguing that there aren't corrupt police officers. If there weren't, then this story's premise would be 100% unbelievable, and it probably never would have gotten off the ground. yoyomistro - you're correct that Melissa-and-company are not the type of population or in the type of community where this kind of abuse is necessarily rampant IRL, and that perhaps the inhabitants would have had options that they would have taken IRL. So, I agree that those portions of the plot require a degree of "suspension of disbelief." But, again, without that, it'd have been a very short story, right? LOL
So, thank you for your views, but I'm just going to say that I don't think that this forum is the correct place for further discussions on the state of policing in America. Please accept the story for what it is - a story (fiction) that, like many other stories, has its warts, pimples and plot holes. Maybe I'll do better next time, if there is a next time.
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There are two paths in the story, that split during Chapter 9. Only one of those paths has had a Chapter 11 update - the other branch still ends at Chapter 10. I'm still working on the "Chapter 11a" update. So, depending on the choice you made in Chapter 9, there might not be a Chapter 11 yet.
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Hi
Well Rich Lets hope there is considerably more than chapter 11 to cum (sorry come) and tat you are not deterred from future releases / new games or we may have to get some of those corrupt cops to pay you a visit - know what I mean mate!!! Keep up the good work
P.S. I do not think it stretches the imagination too far to accept the possibility of such corruption and people are too ready to look away and avoid possible conflict or retaliation.
Well Rich Lets hope there is considerably more than chapter 11 to cum (sorry come) and tat you are not deterred from future releases / new games or we may have to get some of those corrupt cops to pay you a visit - know what I mean mate!!! Keep up the good work
P.S. I do not think it stretches the imagination too far to accept the possibility of such corruption and people are too ready to look away and avoid possible conflict or retaliation.
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LMAO! No, you're not getting rid of me that soon - there's still a good bit of story to come.
Thanks much!
No worries. I probably should also say that JohnCBB and I had a number of discussions about the nature of Melissa's character, and why/how she would "knuckle under." These concepts (as well as the issue of broader, more pervasive corruption) were not really explored in the story. So, I constantly have to remember what all of you know versus what I know, if you follow. Part of the "all of you not understanding Melissa's motivations" comes from the choice early on to tell the story primarily from Parker and Bill's point of view. So, you never hear Melissa's thoughts, for example. But, again, the fact that this wasn't somehow brought out does represent a plot hole, and thus goes directly back to the authors.
So, I completely accept the criticism. (Now that I'm not in a grumpy mood...
) As I said, I've learned a LOT about what it means to be an author as a result of this experience. Constructive-presented criticism (which yoyomistro's was, despite my knee-jerk reaction) only furthers that.Thanks again, I get too into rebuttals on this forum sometimes, but again hopefully you take that as a reflection on the fact that I like your storytelling enough to get into a deep discussion about it. I am looking forward to the rest of the story especially around the other characters that get into interesting situations past chapter 5, which is where I still am lol. Probably won't get to it during the week but maybe in the next couple of weeks.LMAO! No, you're not getting rid of me that soon - there's still a good bit of story to come.
Thanks much!
No worries. I probably should also say that JohnCBB and I had a number of discussions about the nature of Melissa's character, and why/how she would "knuckle under." These concepts (as well as the issue of broader, more pervasive corruption) were not really explored in the story. So, I constantly have to remember what all of you know versus what I know, if you follow. Part of the "all of you not understanding Melissa's motivations" comes from the choice early on to tell the story primarily from Parker and Bill's point of view. So, you never hear Melissa's thoughts, for example. But, again, the fact that this wasn't somehow brought out does represent a plot hole, and thus goes directly back to the authors.
So, I completely accept the criticism. (Now that I'm not in a grumpy mood...
It's interesting to hear what you thought was worth explicating in the story itself and what you thought could be left out in favor of leaving the perspective of certain characters hidden. I did think about that and it'll be interesting to see how that plays out in decisions made going forward based on who knows what.
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Again, much of that, had it been included, would have been set up in the first few chapters, which were written by JohnCBB. So much of the early "what's in and what's out" with respect to Melissa and Bill were his choices. (The design of the Parker/Becky arc was mine, although he did much of the final writing in order to keep the "tone" consistent between the two arcs.) Had JohnCBB remained as the author, it's possible that aspects of the Bill-Melissa arc would have played out differently. I'm pretty much following much of the general arc we had discussed early on, but the devil is always in the details, and there may have been things that JohnCBB was planning for later that I've omitted. (Although I do hear from him occasionally, and he's not unhappy with where I've gone with it, which is heartening.)
But, just as one example, by having the reader not hear Becky's thoughts, they're left in much the same position as Parker in terms of trying to figure out what's going on in her head and why she's acting the way she is. It seemed like having the reader be in an omniscient position would have weakened that aspect of the story - it'd be kind of like having a play where, before or after every conversation between characters, the characters turned to the audience and monologued about their thoughts. That was the effect we were going for - sort of a semi-first-person story.
But, of course, if this was being written by someone who was actually talented, they'd manage to convey much more of what was going on in the characters' heads in a way that would allow the studio audience to pick it up without the story characters necessarily doing so...