Well, well, well... Welcome to the Bizarro World!
First, I must say I am a fan of the game, that's why I take the trouble to make this comment. I want this game to succeed, so I will try to make some constructive criticism.
About the new content that I was oblivious about: it looks like some bizarre fetish fest that came out of nowhere. Not that I am against this type of content, it just seemed very out of context. If we were to believe this new scene where Monica gets imprisoned, it would have been in an uncivilized place, in some parallel universe, where society would behave differently. It looks just like the twilight zone of porn. If they seriously treated her that way, they would have never let her go, because she would spill the beans, so she would have to be neutralized. But if that were to happen to her, I suppose many people would start to ask about her. Even if she hadn't many friends, she was still famous.
When I read the game overview I was thinking something on the line of a rich, famous, and jet set girl, that somehow finds herself in a bankrupt position and now has to scale all the way up back to power from square one (whoring herself back to power, that is). So, I thought this game had huge potential if it was led in this approach. It still has, but IMHO the ranch part seems very out of place. Why not make another game called Ranch Training or something along those lines? Just make Fashion Business be more about the fashion and business side of the world.
About the English in the game; it's terrible. And I'm not a native speaker. You need to find someone to write proper English before you process it into the game. At least, present the lines that you write to someone who can make adjustments faithful to what you want to express, and then after you confirm them as correct, implement them into the game. Most objects, in English, are genderless, so chocolate is not a she, it's an it.
Finally, I understand this is a work in progress, and I hope I'm not being too harsh because I love the concept, the backstory, and the characters (outside the prison and ranch part), and I care for this project. I'm even presenting my availability here to help in some form, if you so desire. I don't want to seem presumptuous, I'm just expressing what I feel. Please, I hope you consider what I said, as well as others' opinions, and do what you think is right.
Keep up the good work.
