I'm working on modifying the dialogue for this game to make it read a bit smoother and inject a little light humour in there now and then. I'm also attempting to make the characters feel a bit more .. human? I feel like the original dialogue is very wooden, unnatural and clearly written by someone whose first language isn't English (no offense Dev!).
There's a lot to go through and I'm completely new to this sort of stuff but.. I'm enjoying the process so far. I'm about done with Chapter 1's dialogue, if anybody would like to try my version of Chapter 1 once its done, drop me a response or something!
Oh and this isn't a complete rewrite, I am taking into account the renders and what's happening in them as best as I can, it's more intended to make the experience a bit more enjoyable to read with some personality enhancements to the characters***. I view the original dialogue as a solid foundation to extract a more enriched experience.
If the feedback is good on my Chapter 1 modifications, I'll work on the next ones. If the Dev has a long turn around on updates, it will at least give you all something to play through again if it takes your fancy?
*** For e.g: Amelie is even more motherly and kind, Kaylee is a bit sassier and humorous, as is the MC (I hope?) and Stephanie can either be sharp tongued and whiny or in certain dialogue choices she can actually be seen as a bit more sweet and likeable... something I'm not sure came across very well in the original dialogue in my opinion.