Sounds good, man. It looks like you've got your head screwed on straighter than I did when I was going through something similar in my life. I kept thinking I was going to make up time somewhere. My ability to rationalize was incredible. I kept dismissing little tree after little tree and then blinked one day, and I was in the middle of the GD forest. Ugh. It was horrible. The burnout I developed from the whole process wholly upended my career, and I'm just now (3 years later) getting back on track. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
The way I look at it, the brain is so subtle and powerful with its ability to say "everything is fine" that sometimes we lose control over a situation long before we think we do. That said? Hitting bottom was the best thing that ever happened to me by far. Because it was exactly what I needed to happen to recognize my need for help. I have the type of support system I used to think was completely unnecessary. And my whole day is centered around my health and happiness. If that means that I scale back my plans a little bit, so be it. But I also try to hold myself accountable. That balance is impossible for me to achieve on my own. That's why my support system (including a fucking spiritual adviser btw--don't knock it till you try it) is so incredibly important for me. I went from being this nihilist guy defined entirely by his ambition to being a laid back family-focused man with a spiritual adviser I consult daily. Bout to call him up, actually, lol.
Be well, homie. Never be afraid to ask for help finding that balance. (To be 100% clear, the recovery from alcoholism was a big part of my story--but it only exacerbated problems already there.)
