VN Ren'Py Completed Intimate Relations [v1.0] [PTOLEMY]

[Mytez]

The MC feels like he's just along for the ride

You could make that case for all of Ptolemy's games, strong females railroading the "weak" MC. Haley, Alex, Mary, Kelly...

I'd say the problem is obviously NTR, the netocrew don't enjoy it because it feels disconnected to MC, the normal people don't like it because it has NTR that "taint" the characters. And seeing the tone of the patreon posts about IR, it doesn't seem that they enjoy making it. So the game has this "negative aura" around it that, in a way, brings the perception of it down.

 

[CorujaCega]

Ok i'm dropping this one its just feel so weak for me, sad i really like the others work from this dev :/

 

[Dasati]

I would love to see the Kelly model in another of Ptolemy's games thou.

 

[Kendra]

Nobody is forcing you to play it. Honestly, people support Ptolemy Patreon for Alex, not IR. I doubt we will do any more NTR games as they don't pay. Will finish this game up in an update or two when we feel like it

Didn't know IR is an NTR game

 

[playb0y44]

Alteni can you check the new updated improved compress version when i play that one it is showing black images when i check the folder every image is fine

 

[Miðgarðsormr]

Nobody is forcing you to play it. Honestly, people support Ptolemy Patreon for Alex, not IR. I doubt we will do any more NTR games as they don't pay. Will finish this game up in an update or two when we feel like it at this point we are only working on it to finish it off

Nobody is forcing you to read my rant either or comment on it. My opinion is my opinion and free speech is still a right i am willing to use.
I am known in this forum to criticize games and as long as there is no rule against it i will continue to do so.

PS: It is this criticizing that devs reach out to me to help them improve their story telling and thats why i will continue to do so.

 

[aberdash]

You could make that case for all of Ptolemy's games, strong females railroading the "weak" MC. Haley, Alex, Mary, Kelly...

Not really. While they do have particularly strong female characters it is often playful and the MC gives some back. In IRs case the MC is just weak and serves no purpose other than to have a male character to play as.

 

[ijako3]

Nobody is forcing you to read my rant either or comment on it. My opinion is my opinion and free speech is still a right i am willing to use.
I am known in this forum to criticize games and as long as there is no rule against it i will continue to do so.

PS: It is this criticizing that devs reach out to me to help them improve their story telling and thats why i will continue to do so.

Wait WHO? jokes aside - looking at your post history you might be known as someone that asks for updates and saves every 2 posts across many game threads, rather than being someone good at the position to actually criticize games and doing it properly, just saying.

When many of your comments about an update for another games are, and i quote ''What a joke of an update '' then i don't know how could you even be the person that dev's reach out for, asking for guidance or tips for improvement.

You just came as random internet rude person, when someone spoke the truth and in that case, it's the developer saying ''Nobody is forcing you to play it''.

 

[Kond]

I could swear that i rejected Denise earlier in the game, i dont even like her character to be honest...why "am i" fucking her?

 

[McWoodz]

Will finish this game up in an update or two when we feel like it at this point we are only working on it to finish it off

Just like Game of Thrones... My money's on the incestuous couple getting killed by a pile of bricks.

 

[Maddick]

It doenst look like i can get Denise out of to house anymore. What ever choise I make, she doesnt leave for that gym guy.

 

[Anus Mundi]

This update was ............. interesting.

It was ok, if you only stuck to either Christine (& Nadine) or Denise or Jessica.
But if you fooled around with more than one woman, this update leaves you in a pretty mess. Even if you focus on Kelly only, this update doesn't run smooth.
I.e. i had a save where Christine submitted after her "beautyday" but called Denise instead of taking Christine to the park. Now Christine has a vacation planned (with Nadine) but i end up on a weekend trip with Denise. And nobody asked any questions.

 

[lkta]

This update was ............. interesting.

It was ok, if you only stuck to either Christine (& Nadine) or Denise or Jessica.
But if you fooled around with more than one woman, this update leaves you in a pretty mess. Even if you focus on Kelly only, this update doesn't run smooth.
I.e. i had a save where Christine submitted after her "beautyday" but called Denise instead of taking Christine to the park. Now Christine has a vacation planned (with Nadine) but i end up on a weekend trip with Denise. And nobody asked any questions.

Same here, think some of the saves/previous choices have got a bit mixed up. Eventually managed to get 3 different vacations at the end of the 3 paths by whizzing through again just holding crl but there is still something definitely off with denise still encroaching on the other paths even when you have rejected her early on.

 

[User_365148]

The dev who told me that is not the dev of this game. That would be PTOLEMY!
And as far as i know im the only prof. writer in this forum and its exactly my tone that Devs reach out to me per PM asking me what i disliked and i answer that in mostly 2 or more site long evaluation what exactly is wrong in terms of story telling.

If i would openly criticize the game in a thread with all their issues it would
1. Bring attention to said issues with the dev starting to defend said issues or ignoring them (the devs choice)
2. Put me in no position to help said devs with the story telling as they would be mad at me for adressing the issues precisly on point in a public space. Writing is hard and not everyone likes to hear "hey your game sucks" yet you cant make "writers" listen to critique any other way.

Do you write for a living? No? Then let me tell you how it works. No writer in this world wants his script being torn to pieces by another writer. Why? Imagine you write hours and hours every day. Putting your sweat blood and hopes into it. For Weeks. Then someone shows up and tells you "this is bad and this is bad and holy moly this is shit and oh my god that point is complete garbage"

You would not only listen to this dude you would downright hate that guy. And everything he mentioned is downright considered an insult.

This is the reality of "writers"

Someone who knows more then you do calls you into the office of your publisher then tells the "writer" in the office that his scrips is either "garbage" or "sucks" or my favorite is "absolute shit" then its up to the writer to either accept that and ask what he can do to improve or get angry and leave. But your script will never be published if you refuse to accept that it sucks.

They dont tell you "we have a problem with this and that" and they wont tell you in a "nice way" how certain things need to be changed.

They tell you up front "it sucks" "its garbage" "horseshit" etc. And its exactly this language that shows you that those ppl published thousands of books and know what "sells and what doesnt sell" And they have the money to pay you or fire you and hire someone better. And there is always someone better then you.

No Publisher would write a open critique in a newspaper how the new script of J.K. Rowling sucks. They invite her into office and tell her there. In Privacy.

I openly wrote critique on the game "A Wife and Mother" in the thread and got a PM from 3 Devs agreeing that the story is going nowhere and if i could help them with "their own game" and the story telling in it.

Did the dev of "A Wife and Mother" PM me? Maybe.
The story is already written and wont be changed cause the vision is to make the game and story unfold exactly like envisioned and will simulate xyz days to do so. Big Project big ambitions not open for discussion or advice.

Did others PM me? Yes.

But if you want some pointers whats wrong in this game i can give you some as i doubt PTOLEMY will ever ask for any advice anyway.

1. To many plots to follow about characters you feel nothing for. The three main characters are the MC, The daughter and the wife. Yet we introduce more and more side characters that get involved with the main characters and cut the sexual content shorter and shorter despite the fact that the game gets bigger and bigger and more and more renders are added.
Less is more. No one i repeat no one gives a shit about a side character that gets introduced and fucked in the same update. No one. The character is so shallow it gets forgotten 5 minutes after wanking.

If you want to stretch the game for the fact you want to milk it (Which is a valid option to do) you can accomplish that by simply adding more text and make your characters more emotional vulnerable and care for one another in a romantic way. Add some drama to that by a new love interest that confuse your love interest and the game is on. The reader/player is hooked and wants to know how the story develops and how to win over his/her love interest.

2. Story telling has gone from spicy to boring. You can develop the depths of your characters without adding more and more side characters to interact with. You tell a story by 3 main points. Sex, Romance, Violence. Everything else is boring and does absolutely nothing for the reader or in this case the player.

As Example. The Threeway scene in this update is a good story telling element. But it took way to long to set it up and cost alot of renders to actually reach the point where it happend. You could have done that in half the renders. Also the girl that got added is shallow and of no interest. If she would have been there from the start maybe a friend of the daughter or and old buddy of the wife the moment would be more enjoyable with a long buildup.

3. Most devs make the mistake of animating their sex scenes making the females say some sexy shit and thats about it. Sex is about smell, taste, feelings (even when u feel nothing but lust) and living the moment to the fullest. Yet i have encounterd only ONE Dev who actually tries to accomplish that by making a sex scene believable to the reader.
You could make 5 renders with a sex scenes and add Text to it and if the text is good ppl would enjoy it more like actual porn.
Portray both sides.

What is she thinking right now? What does he think? How does he taste? How does she taste? How do they smell? Some women get cold before the action starts.
MC could hold them. Cuddle with them. Warm her up that way before they start. "He could smell her hair" some women get turned on by that.
Many women like the smell of their lover and demand a shirt that smells like him when her guy leaves her for some days so they can sleep with it.
Many women in general like to smell their partner and vice versa.
Its this smell that drives you mad if you get cockblocked afterwards.
Make the women moody. Deny a sex scene cause the MC said some shit that upset her. Make him revenge fuck her afterwards and her enjoying it to the fullest.
What about apologize sex after a fight?
How about male and female going at each others throats verbally and then falling in love by that or simply get aroused by it and start having wild sex?
Why not destroy a table or a chair by having wild sex? Hell even the bed.
How about funny noises that sound like a fart that happen during sex?

The amount of spectrum you could add to those scenes to make them more enjoyable is gigantic. Yet you see the same shit over and over and over again. Like porn. Complete garbage.

Also a factor that many women have.
Is she shy? Why would a wife be shy? Cause she has self esteem issues as her husband and her didnt have sex for a very long time and she thinks she isnt attractive anymore. Maybe she cheated and feels guilty and the list goes on and on and on.
Is the daughter shy? I mean its her father.

Why dont they beat around the bush for some minutes without looking at each other while cuddling on the couch. The tension rises and the reader/player waits for the things to unfold which they know is gonna happen but its all about how you present it.

And i could go on but for the sake of argument i stop. The fact that i dont write in every Thread my critique is as said above it would not be taken well by any dev/writer.

I have my signature and everyone who "wants advice" gets it for free. Those who don't i wont force to listen. But thanks for adressing how i appear to be.

I will start writing more in the threads of games that i think have bad story telling elements and hope that those ppl will not react the way i just described earlier.

If they do i dont care. Cant help anyone.

And if you found grammar or writing errors english is not my native tounge. Thanks.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[D3ssel]

Nobody is forcing you to play it. Honestly, people support Ptolemy Patreon for Alex, not IR. I doubt we will do any more NTR games as they don't pay. Will finish this game up in an update or two when we feel like it at this point we are only working on it to finish it off

Wait, what?

Now, this post right here got me all confused. Is Ptolemy's IR actively going for NTR content as well? I'm asking because this is one of those fetishes that REALLY get people worked out if not made very clear of its existence in the game's tag, title screen, spoiler, etc... If that is the case, the dev should make its presence abundantly clear, imho.

Also, I see some people a bit unsure about how "fast" Kelly went for her love interest. That isn't a problem at all. If anything, that's a good thing, imo.

How many projects have we seen that goes for months and months without any real action, and then only gives us a scene or two, and call it a day?

Nope, the problem here is that quite a lot of devs out there (and, mind you, this isn't the case of Ptolemy, imo) have no clue whatsoever about how to properly "set up" a hot scene. None at all. Sure they can come up with gorgeous CG models, rendered to perfection, full of jaw-dropping animations, all the whistles and bells, only to pair that up with subpar scenes and writing.

Most of Patreon devs should really spend a little time reading stories in CYOA sites out there. Without any fancy graphics nor animations, those guys really have to come up with creative writing and scenes in order to come up with a said "hot" story. They also can't spend a lot of time building up relations and plot (unless it's extremely good), because they risk losing the readers interest. And guess what? The few good writers out there pull it off time and time again.

Not saying that a slow build up relation is a bad thing. But just that it usually results in very few end scenes. They, more often than not, set the "sex" per se as the end goal for its game.

It isn't!

Hot scenes are, as long as erotic games are concerned. And you can have as many as you want of those in a game. As long as you know and have the creativity to effectively create them, that is.

So, next time you think a certain relationship feels rushed, maybe you should ask yourself if that is indeed what is bothering you, or if what came after it (the scenes per se) is to blame instead.

Oh, and that Kelly character? My god, did Ptolemy outdid himself with her. One of the most gorgeous I've seen in all my time in Patreon. Kudos are really in order here. Really hope to see her "model" in future projects as well.

 

[gamersglory]

Not really, just throwing some comedy to it, because the guy is obviously trolling or just straight lying just to make his point stronger.
If he has dignity to tell other devs from this site how to do stuff because he says, that he's ''the only one professional writer here'', then show the projects he wrote, i don't really see any on this site and also show the PM's from the developers, i don't really care about anything else.

I can also say that im a best professional writer out there, and George RR Martin asked me to write the ending for his book - spoiler, Daenerys has a dick.

Thought Daenerys turns out to be a futa. She tucks it in

 

[ThatGuyWithaAfro]

Still hate we get forced into a relationship with the doctor...

Don't like the deal with kelly... I guess we are just gonna hurt this robert guys feelings..

 

[aberdash]

Also, don't mind me asking, why is your profile limited? Also when Yggalf goes off when you write a post, he goes right back up after done making one? Probably just a coincidence, i guess.
Saw it happened a couple of times on these forums before that people had alt accounts, so i apologize for ''suspecting'' if im just wrong.

I have general disdain for this place and try to minimize my involvement here so I turned off all notification but I just can't control my autism sometimes. I wouldn't even have an account if it wasn't required.

 

[KyoriKusagami]

Sincerely, I don't understand the complaints about this update, because not every update had daughter/father moment and Kelly is conflicted about all previous situations, so it doesn't make sense have sex scene just to please the readers. I really liked Christine's development(if you didn't choose the cheating path), she is trying to make the marriage works by wanting to have more moment with her husband and giving pieces of advice to Kelly. In the Cheating Path, I liked Doctor Denise, she is really lovely and she is serious about her relationship with MC.
About the NTR discussion here, I didn't see any of it here, it's more Breaking up Path or Cheating Path than NTR Path, the MC is very passive, yes he is, but I didn't see any jealousy neither humiliation to him and every moment Christine has with other guys(Mateo and Marcus), they happen after she and MC finished their marriage(except the first cheating moment, of course) that YOU decide to make it happens. Overall, I enjoyed and I'm waiting for the next update.

 

[Miðgarðsormr]

Sincerely, I don't understand the complaints about this update, because not every update had daughter/father moment and Kelly is conflicted about all previous situations, so it doesn't make sense have sex scene just to please the readers. I really liked Christine's development(if you didn't choose the cheating path), she is trying to make the marriage works by wanting to have more moment with her husband and giving pieces of advice to Kelly. In the Cheating Path, I liked Doctor Denise, she is really lovely and she is serious about her relationship with MC.
About the NTR discussion here, I didn't see any of it here, it's more Breaking up Path or Cheating Path than NTR Path, the MC is very passive, yes he is, but I didn't see any jealousy neither humiliation to him and every moment Christine has with other guys(Mateo and Marcus), they happen after she and MC finished their marriage(except the first cheating moment, of course) that YOU decide to make it happens. Overall, I enjoyed and I'm waiting for the next update.

True that but the fact she is confused after all that makes it kinda unbelievable if you consider what she did to get to that point in the story. I guess its a build up of sort for comeback.

Most NTR is avoidable nowadays as devs figured out players dont really react in a nice way if you force NTR into the game on their love interests.

Glad you enjoyed it i did as well but there is always stuff that bugs me and you cant please everyone ^^