VN Ren'Py Abandoned Lily's Curse Prologue [v0.3] [GubaStudio]

[Eerie Entity]

I hope people will enjoy the VN and the journey it is about to take you, I know I do!

I am working as the proofreader and dialogue fixer for this VN, but if you guys spot errors and such, let me know and I'll have a look at it (it's not that easy to fix stuff that was originally translated from French to English). This is my first time doing such work (it is a learning experience for me, I probably will make mistakes, but only way to learn is by doing ), I volunteered to do this for this dev team because I personally REALLY like this VN and if I can help them improve the game even by just proofreading and thus making it more enjoyable for the audience, then me and the whole dev team will be happy
And I get to be a small part of the dev team, hehe

 

[Paprika]

+1 for the incest patch!

 

[zh]

Another nice game to follow !!! :FuckYea:

 

[Eerie Entity]

Another nice game to follow !!! :FuckYea:

Happy that you like it!

Did you find the dialog easy to follow, or find anything that would require changing/fixing?

 

[evildead]

how much content can anyone tell me. eg. 10mins or more

 

[Eerie Entity]

how much content can anyone tell me. eg. 10mins or more

10-15 minutes I think, along those lines, it depends how quick of a reader you are, but this is more of an introduction to some of the main characters than anything else, but give it a go and see if you like it

 

[Subterra]

Love it so far, good quality, I'm a big fan of demons and such so lily is right and a big plus for me in this game, hope it develops just as good later and looking forward to more

 

[ThunderRob]

some of the terminology and syntax is still pretty off for "english" "attend the same formation"? try "attend the same class" as an example..but otherwise is pretty good english.

 

[Ariku]

some of the terminology and syntax is still pretty off for "english" "attend the same formation"? try "attend the same class" as an example..but otherwise is pretty good english.

thanks @thunderrob we gave a big job to @Eerie Entity correcting us . between all our mistakes there may have still some flaws but compare to start we're happy of the result of the correction made by him

 

[Synamon]

Yeah , really nice renders .. Lily is awesome ... and Mom or whomever she is is Hot

 

[Eerie Entity]

some of the terminology and syntax is still pretty off for "english" "attend the same formation"? try "attend the same class" as an example..but otherwise is pretty good english.

Thanks for the feedback
I actually several times was wondering if I should change "formation" to "class" because even though they sort of mean the same thing, "class" would just make more sense and is more fitting, so not changing that was my mistake, should've went with my gut feeling, haha.

 

[ThunderRob]

i've been english for all of my 55 years..Canadian..which still uses most of the english-english..HAHA..and never heard of classes called "formation" now watching F1 i hear "formation lap" alot..so theres that..HAHAAA
also..are you going for the Queen's english?..which is 85% of my english..or American?..which is 15% of my spoken word?..English and American are quite different languages..American likes to misplace their "U"'s HAHAA!!! there is no honour in misplacing your "U"'s colour me hilarious!!!!
random example.."My friend,what bothers you?" in American would be "Dude,WTF is up with you?"
i'm cracking myself up..senility rocks!!!

 

[ltpika]

There must be town in distant corner of the Earth, inhabited by all those missing daddies from inc(ish) games :test:. I've always wondered where all those people went...

They're on a colony with all the missing Disney moms!

 

[Ariku]

Meet Hiro , Yumi's "roommate" , he'll be in next update as Mc best friend.

 

[poser707]

Renders are nice and you've got a quite interesting premise. Good luck to you, if all goes well, it has a potential to be on the top games on F95.

 

[Ariku]

Renders are nice and you've got a quite interesting premise. Good luck to you, if all goes well, it has a potential to be on the top games on F95.

thanks a lot , i hope it'll get better and better . And i'm sure community will help us take the right direction

 

[MasterDk78]

I like the intro, and all the shit that hits him. Quite interesting.
I hope in the future, there would be some choices to make

 

[KyoriKusagami]

I liked the intro and the dialogues are good. I'm sad for Yumi, she confesses her love to him and the MC response was harsh("I can't get into anything that could disturb my studies") like he considers Yumi a disturb, i think he'd can more gentle.

Overall i liked this beginning

 

[GhostPhil]

I liked the intro and the dialogues are good. I'm sad for Yumi, she confesses her love to him and the MC response was harsh("I can't get into anything that could disturb my studies") like he considers Yumi a disturb, i think he'd can more gentle.

Overall i liked this beginning

That's maybe the one point that I actually wished to have a choice. She is just so cute

 

[Deadlyreaper]

so far I have to say it's very interesting it's way too short but what to look for is curious i just hope the next update has more content and is not as short as this one and it will not be another game where you grind endlessly need and it also needs 50+ updates until something happens to the mom and sister
like in so many other games which bring endless updates in which not much ever happens almost and then eventually the game is over and or it gets new again Hanging up and starting all over again ..... it would be a shame about the game which started so promisingly