VN Ren'Py Completed Long Way Home [v1.0] [Mystic]

[Deleted member 3208170]

Hah, hard to say. I thought there were some people who'd actually enjoy her personality and what not.

Hmm.... noooo... What Personality? Being a manipulative bitch?

Honest Opinion from Myself.
She is trouble and weird. The MC knew it from the get go. And you have the story written that she is the villain.
And we as player have no agency in dealing with her blackmailing. So I would say not licking her is pretty normal.

Maybe you were too good to make her an annoying villain.

Do you planning to keep it kinetic? If yes, put the tag kinetic novel up.

Else I found that game pretty decent and yes. Until the Blowjob, I really liked the MC. I really expected we could choose and decline her. He gave me the vibes that he is not that easy to blackmail.
Shizuka was very likeable, written and well-thought-out.
She is a good character and not because she wears a bunny suite.

 

[leloil]

Starting ep. 1? that's cool

 

[Mystic]

Hmm.... noooo... What Personality? Being a manipulative bitch?

Honest Opinion from Myself.
She is trouble and weird. The MC knew it from the get go. And you have the story written that she is the villain.
And we as player have no agency in dealing with her blackmailing. So I would say not licking her is pretty normal.

Maybe you were too good to make her an annoying villain.

Do you planning to keep it kinetic? If yes, put the tag kinetic novel up.

Else I found that game pretty decent and yes. Until the Blowjob, I really liked the MC. I really expected we could choose and decline her. He gave me the vibes that he is not that easy to blackmail.
Shizuka was very likeable, written and well-thought-out.
She is a good character and not because she wears a bunny suite.

Mmh... the reason MC succumbed to the blackmail is because he has issues in background as well, but that isn't revealed as much till later, but he hints at it with his thoughts multiple times, like when he said he knows about meaning of debt.

And yes, understandable. Regarding the BJ that is, but I went with somewhat ...hmm... odd approach perhaps there, but once more I needed to establish the relation between them and Yuna as char and her profile.

Ah yes, Shizuka.

As for your question, or rather that term kinetic stands for A visual novel in which the player does not interact with the story ? If I am correct in understanding it that.

That wouldn't be the case here... as you've seen the example by keeping or not keeping the photos from tablet, and then Shizuka's reaction later on it, also the different flavor text. But yes, there will be some choices later on that have either impact or allow you a specific control over some events.

Hence the kinetic wouldn't cut it here.

 

[Mystic]

Starting ep. 1? that's cool

I strive for fast deliveries if I can. And if I can, I will.

 

[MisterNephilim]

I have a thing or two to say to Yuna

 

[Deleted member 3208170]

I have a thing or two to say to Yuna

View attachment 1605840

Nah. I have something diffrent in mind.

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It fits in her collection.

 

[Mystic]

I have a thing or two to say to Yuna

View attachment 1605840

Fucking knew it, just waited for it hahaha!

I take it you were extra pissed at EP1 where she was forcing Shizuka again etc.

Nah. I have something diffrent in mind.

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It fits in her collection.

Interesting. :hmmm:

 

[Deleted member 3208170]

I take it you were extra pissed at EP1 where she was forcing Shizuka again etc.

We just make fun off the villain.
Seriously, she has an uphill battle if she wants to conquer us. But I think that's the story, isn't it.

Don't take it too much to heart. As I said, nothing ill minded in regard to you. But that's how your story went down so far. Everything is okay.

Interesting. :hmmm:

It is.
Is it arousing. No.
Is it fun. I guess not.
But it would definitely be interesting, Sir.

 

[Mystic]

We just make fun off the villain.
Seriously, she has an uphill battle if she wants to conquer us. But I think that's the story, isn't it.

Don't take it too much to heart. As I said, nothing ill minded in regard to you. But that's how your story went down so far. Everything is okay.



It is.
Is it arousing. No.
Is it fun. I guess not.
But it would definitely be interesting, Sir.[/ispoiler]

Of course, of course! Mmh... kinda is. Kinda isn't. Won't spoil

 

[Lewdidimus]

Enjoying the story so far; Shizuka's definitely the winner here in my book as well as many others', but come on you can't have expected otherwise right?

Yuna does her job as obnoxious antagonist pretty well, but I'll pass judgement on her for now as I expect the story will reveal... some forgotten history between her and MC.


If I had any criticisms, it would be that I felt there's just a little too much exposure to MC's own private thoughts rather than them being conveyed through dialogue with other characters. Also interactions with Shizuka being cut short, like the date being mostly off-screen.

Otherwise, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter! (Shizuka best girl)

 

[Mystic]

Enjoying the story so far; Shizuka's definitely the winner here in my book as well as many others', but come on you can't have expected otherwise right?

Yuna does her job as obnoxious antagonist pretty well, but I'll pass judgement on her for now as I expect the story will reveal... some forgotten history between her and MC.


If I had any criticisms, it would be that I felt there's just a little too much exposure to MC's own private thoughts rather than them being conveyed through dialogue with other characters. Also interactions with Shizuka being cut short, like the date being mostly off-screen.

Otherwise, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter! (Shizuka best girl)

Mmmh.. kind of. I mean... his thoughts, most the time that is, are not exactly something you'd voice out. Plus he is just being careful about how he deals with people I'd say.

And regarding interactions with Shizuka, not to worry, more on the way so I'm sure you'll make up for the lost fade to black time.

 

[jxd]

You're full of energy ufff I love it, I had played version 0.1 a few days ago... we'll see how far it goes

 

[Mystic]

You're full of energy ufff I love it, I had played version 0.1 a few days ago... we'll see how far it goes

Four days later.. v0.3. Printing dat shit like mad. xD

 

[Professor Black]

I have a thing or two to say to Yuna

View attachment 1605840

got a spare? i wanna join in too.

 

[Mystic]

got a spare? i wanna join in too.

I swear, the more I see these comments. I am tempted... VERY TEMPTED... to make a scene where you can choose to buy a damn gun and blow her head off then replace her with some other cunt.

 

[Lewdidimus]

Mmmh.. kind of. I mean... his thoughts, most the time that is, are not exactly something you'd voice out. Plus he is just being careful about how he deals with people I'd say.

And regarding interactions with Shizuka, not to worry, more on the way so I'm sure you'll make up for the lost fade to black time.

Oh I don't think there was anything wrong with the writing, per-se, and I agree most of his thoughts wouldn't be things you'd just say wholesale. Just a preference in narration style, I suppose.

So far, things are mostly linear so how much would you say we can expect the story to branch out depending on chosen responses in the future? Are you aiming more for variations in scene dialogue or entirely different 'paths'?

 

[Mystic]

Oh I don't think there was anything wrong with the writing, per-se, and I agree most of his thoughts wouldn't be things you'd just say wholesale. Just a preference in narration style, I suppose.

So far, things are mostly linear so how much would you say we can expect the story to branch out depending on chosen responses in the future? Are you aiming more for variations in scene dialogue or entirely different 'paths'?

At the moment I am focused on variations in scene dialogue, character reactions and so forth. Now truth be told when it comes to LwH... the story I wrote in advance for quite the time, and it was never meant to be packed in one VN... rather it was meant to have a sequel.

Then again I've also stated that will I make it or not, depends on overall interest from the people. When it comes to entirely different paths... if you count alternative ending to be one, then yes, I did have that planned... original ending vs alternate one depending on some key choices.

 

[MisterNephilim]

I swear, the more I see these comments. I am tempted... VERY TEMPTED... to make a scene where you can choose to buy a damn gun and blow her head off then replace her with some other cunt.

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[Mystic]

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Torture perhaps then?

 

[Mystic]

Bump!
v0.4 is out. Hit the first page for Mega download, or if you prefer Itch.io.