How to convince investors: vaguely promise new menu items without any specifics that you just declare to be popular with your costumers, somehow reduce cost of your inventory by magically getting better deals with suppliers, and doing what everyone and there mom thought would be the new hip thing sometime back in 2002: social media marketing ...
... okay, I'm not actually knocking that bit so much as pointing at where the writing really could do with improvement. Be specific. Don't be overly explain-y, but focus on what's actually going on.
And try to make dialogues a bit less stilted, with characters having their own voices, and less repetitive. "She's our Plan B. Keep her in the loop." "Yes, I will keep her in the loop for our plan B." "I trust you, but it's good to have a plan B." "We will turn this around, but a plan B can't hurt."
... do we really need to address Uncle Jacob as Uncle Jacob every single time? I don't know, maybe people do that somewhere; in my experience names and "titles" are rarely used these days ^^; "Hey, Uncle! ... yes, Jacob. blabla, you are right." > "Hey, Uncle Jacob. ... yes, Uncle Jacob. blabla, you right, Uncle Jacob."
And some lines are just ... "I'm the police officer from the local police department." No, you don't say?! I thought you were from the ice cream factory police ...
Also; take some care with consistency - ie we are told Amy works the morning shift, then we are walking her home at night. Uh, why is she there? Shouldn't the dude be working? etc.
There's also a notable bunch of proofreading misses ^^; These always happen, but it's a bit on the too distracting side here.
Visuals are nice and the theme is nice but the writing imo really needs some polish.
