I realize there are translation problems early on in the game, but we've been working on the dialogue pretty extensively for the last two updates. I'd be interested to hear what folks think of the dialogue changes, especially with this most recent update?
It isn't too bad but in many places it just feels a bit stiff / unnatural / robotic. Sentences feel a bit abrupt and many times i have reread things as it just seems like an odd choice of words from time to time. It definitely reads like it was all written in another language and has been translated rather than being written in everyday conversational English. A few errors below, this is as far as i have got and probably will not add any more after this point. Also i have no idea what is going on with Georginas right sleeve in the cafe, It seems to be having some sort of glitch in the matrix every sentence change.
These should be she/she's instead of he/he's :
scene scene_34_20 with dissolve mc "(But he's right.)"
scene scene_34_66 with dissolve mc "(I wonder if he knows exactly what he's doing?)"
Multiple lines refer to you as MC :
scene scene_35_13 with dissolve lil "You're very thoughtful, mc, don't ever lose that, okay?"
scene scene_35_69 with dissolve lil "Oh my god, mc I'm sorry. I had the music on I didn’t even hear this crowd."
scene scene_37_3 with dissolve t "(What the hell is mc doing in my bed?)"
scene scene_37_60 with dissolve b "I’m being serious MC. I misjudged you and I’m sorry."
Cacau referred to as c : scene scene_38_4 with dissolve b "Actually, you're right." b "But since your competition is c, it doesn't really matter."
Untranslated? scene scene_35_28 with dissolve mc "(Ainsi bas la vida, ainsi bas la vida.)"
Doesn't really make much sense : scene scene_36_12 with dissolve t "Yes, I realize that, which is natural for him to want."
Should probably be this/this one instead of "that" :scene scene_36_116 with dissolve n "Why isn't that good enough?"
After the message from Cacau about dinner you send a text to "Jerremy" One too many R's in his name there.
Guy in the bar is called "Men" Should probably be Man / Unknown Man but definitely not Men. Later on each of the men are also called "Men" although men is the correct term for the three of them together, Just not individually
