VN Ren'Py Abandoned My Little Katelyn [Ch. 3] [Ellaraia]

[Ellaraia]

im sorry to say this but im not liking the game at all after playing the 2chapter, it seems we are forced on a relationship just to be punched in the face with no content at all with her (and i dont mean sex at all) ,just stupid and incoherents acts of a girlfriend that will rather be with sophie than us ( and if she is cheating on the mc with that girl, thats even more points to not like this)
the parents act as fucking assholes to both the mc and kate (atleast the dad).
Dunno what updates you will make in the future to keep me interested in lucy since all you are doing is making us hate her, i dont really see the point to have her and is more annoying than likeable.
Guess i will wait for 2 more chapter before ignoring this game since i loved your 1st game.

Once chapter 4 is added, I will add the option to leave Lucy. I wanted it in Chapter 1, but it cut too much of the content out so I removed it.

The dad is an asshole, not everyone is nice.

Katelyn is the focus to the game, not Lucy. Lucy is there because a game with just you and Katelyn will be boring, see ShF.

 

[Ellaraia]

@Ellaraia
The relationship could be Lucy trying to move on. She's trying out having a boyfriend. For him, it's rather risk reward. If she gets through her issues, she'll probably love him a lot. If she doesn't then he gets dumped without much fun.
###You're kind of a bastard- ye know that, don't ye. I like how, you as the Dev, use words/phrases like you "don't" know what's going to happen... Lol You actually give both sides of the issue/conflict as if it may somehow change from what you've written. Lol

In the plans, the laundry part is more fleshed out. The scene in the bathroom, was actually in the laundry room and you walk in on Katelyn when she's taken her clothes off to wash them. She was changing there rather than in her bedroom because it's quicker that way. but the laundry room asset was crap so i had to replace it. In the plans, it's explained more that you, Katelyn and Jessica all do their own laundry usually, but now Katelyn does all three's.
###Hmmm, this again brings me back to my original point- I wasn't aware they were called "foreign ex-slave students". I have no doubt there's a reason for it, but it still doesn't seem particularly justified. If Katelyn can do it- then it's a pretty safe bet that Jessica and the MC could do their own as well...or at least take turns doing it in rotation. Also, the father's treatment/comments towards Katelyn were just so wrong and unwarranted- why didn't she kick him in the stones, at the very least? The parents just treat her like a SCC, and I'm sure there a mystery there- yet to be unraveled, but damn...they both really suck. The mother seems overbearing and abusive- the father is just a straight...up...prick. I certainly hope that Katelyn-ella get a Fairy Godmother, so that she can go the MC's ball(s). Lol

Forgot to mention- really like the new sig.

You did your own laundry until Katelyn got caught masturbating. The laundry is her punishment. It'll only last two weeks.

The Mother isn't a bad person, it's just that you've seen her so little. She sees Katelyn as herself. She is jealous of Katelyn when she does things that she herself didn't do. Katelyn is like a little project to her. Maybe I should add a more likeable scene with the mother.

 

[Mytez]

Katelyn is the focus to the game, not Lucy. Lucy is there because a game with just you and Katelyn will be boring, see ShF.

Kind of a silly question, since you know.. the name of the game and all.

But we'll we be able to try and repair, if you can consider it broken, the relationship with Lucy? Or is she just going to be there for early "sex" scenes until the story progresses enough to focus on Kate?

 

[Ellaraia]

Kind of a silly question, since you know.. the name of the game and all.

But we'll we be able to try and repair, if you can consider it broken, the relationship with Lucy? Or is she just going to be there for early "sex" scenes until the story progresses enough to focus on Kate?

Your relationship with Lucy can last until the end of the game, if you want that. At some point, the two paths will no longer be able to work side by side, so you will have to choose, but that's what saves are for.

 

[Deleted member 833007]

I theorise that lucy wears a wig. Before both of the dates she missed, she was making cooking and her wig fell in the food and got messy. She didn't have time to wash it and so had to cancel.
It's not mentioned where the first date was, so I assume it was a picnic and she made sandwiches. For the second, Lucy wanted something to eat so they didn't have to pay for cinema snacks.


Edit: This explains why she's so secretive. It also explains why no sex. sex would mean a high probability of her wig falling off and her secret being uncovered. I kinda want to change the story now. haha

Edit 2: I now realise that the only reason she'd need a wig would be cancer, which would make it very sad.

My Schlong was really looking forward for today that mayb his master may release him from his cage...but with all that info he just went back inside and ..really dont wana come out now!!!

 

[Ellaraia]

My Schlong was really looking forward for today that mayb his master may release him from his cage...but with all that info he just went back inside and ..really dont wana come out now!!!

 

[Sural Argonus]

Edit 2: I now realise that the only reason she'd need a wig would be cancer, which would make it very sad.

Actually, doesn't have to be cancer.

There's "Early Female Pattern Baldness"


Female pattern baldness is largely thought to occur due to genetics. However, it may also develop due to an underlying condition that affects the production of the hormone androgen.

Androgen is a hormone that plays a role in pattern baldness. Tumors of the pituitary gland or ovary, which secrete androgen, may also lead to hair loss.

Other causes of hair loss in women include:

• Autoimmune disease:
  You must be registered to see the links
  is a rare autoimmune disorder that causes the immune system to attack the hair follicles leading to hair loss.
• Medication: Certain medications, such as those that are used to treat
  You must be registered to see the links
  , can cause hair loss as a side effect. However, hair usually regrows once a person has stopped taking the medication.
• Illness: Hair loss can develop after a significant illness, such as a severe infection, high
  You must be registered to see the links
  , or surgery.
• Traction alopecia: This is hair loss that occurs when a person frequently wears hairstyles that pull the hair too tightly.

It could be that her mother is a cue-ball too.

However...If you went that route...Either do the genetics, or Traction Alopecia. Either way it would be a great reason for her to be ashamed.

 

[Ellaraia]

Actually, doesn't have to be cancer.

There's "Early Female Pattern Baldness"


Female pattern baldness is largely thought to occur due to genetics. However, it may also develop due to an underlying condition that affects the production of the hormone androgen.

Androgen is a hormone that plays a role in pattern baldness. Tumors of the pituitary gland or ovary, which secrete androgen, may also lead to hair loss.

Other causes of hair loss in women include:

• Autoimmune disease:
  You must be registered to see the links
  is a rare autoimmune disorder that causes the immune system to attack the hair follicles leading to hair loss.
• Medication: Certain medications, such as those that are used to treat
  You must be registered to see the links
  , can cause hair loss as a side effect. However, hair usually regrows once a person has stopped taking the medication.
• Illness: Hair loss can develop after a significant illness, such as a severe infection, high
  You must be registered to see the links
  , or surgery.
• Traction alopecia: This is hair loss that occurs when a person frequently wears hairstyles that pull the hair too tightly.

It could be that her mother is a cue-ball too.

However...If you went that route...Either do the genetics, or Traction Alopecia. Either way it would be a great reason for her to be ashamed.

It was just a theory. She isn't actually bald, thankfully.

 

[Sural Argonus]

Oh I know, @Ellaraia I was just trying to help if you did actually want to change it.


Don't always have to go with the tragic reason. At least it's still early enough in your development that you can still entertain these ideas. Doesn't mean you are required.

 

[Ellaraia]

Oh I know, @Ellaraia I was just trying to help if you did actually want to change it.


Don't always have to go with the tragic reason. At least it's still early enough in your development that you can still entertain these ideas. Doesn't mean you are required.

I have a multi-thousand word document detailing every scene in every chapter and what every ending is. Then a more detailed synopsis up to Chapter 5.

I know what's happening. Every detail.

 

[TheKryptonian]

So after chapter 4 we will have to start a new game to dump the shitty girlfriend?

I get why you did what you did removing the option but why not just let people know the reason right away but still leave the option in the game and remind players to just make a seperate save?

Its your game but just a thought...

 

[micojive]

Just started the game, the dialog between the Girlfriend and MC is super cringy.

"I just want my penis inside you"
"wording it sweet and innocent wont make me want your dick anymore then I do now"

Seriously? Who talks like that

 

[Ellaraia]

So after chapter 4 we will have to start a new game to dump the shitty girlfriend?

I get why you did what you did removing the option but why not just let people know the reason right away but still leave the option in the game and remind players to just make a seperate save?

Its your game but just a thought...

If you want to play the game again being loyal to Katelyn, then you will have to start again. If you are okay with kissing Katelyn then dumping Lucy when it gets more intimate, then there will be an option to dump Lucy in the first scene of Chapter 4.

 

[Ellaraia]

Just started the game, the dialog between the Girlfriend and MC is super cringy.

"I just want my penis inside you"
"wording it sweet and innocent wont make me want your dick anymore then I do now"

Seriously? Who talks like that

Me.

It works better in my accent.

 

[TheKryptonian]

If you want to play the game again being loyal to Katelyn, then you will have to start again. If you are okay with kissing Katelyn then dumping Lucy when it gets more intimate, then there will be an option to dump Lucy in the first scene of Chapter 4.

Ok. Would be nice to just be loyal to the girl who actually likes the MC and drop little miss doesnt seem to give a shit about the MC right away.

 

[Deleted member 15555]

Once chapter 4 is added, I will add the option to leave Lucy. I wanted it in Chapter 1, but it cut too much of the content out so I removed it.

thats not what i mean, what i mean is why you force us in a relationship if ur making us hate lucy or to make us left her after a few updates, it makes no sense to me and thats what i dont like at all in the game, also the reason for her to not have sex, to act the way she act with mc and sophie just seems too dumb to me. (i almost laugh when she says the mc wants her only to himself when all the time she is with sophia, she even stays with sophia when she did have a date with the mc...)
and not only that, that sophia is an ass to his bf and she dont defend him at all=? is like the story you did make is more into sophia rather than the mc, and that is very fail for any game from my point.

In your first game, the relationship with the mc seems more into charácter, more developed and more realistic (atleast the love route).

I dont see you salvaging this unless you edit the first 2 chapters.

 

[micojive]

Obviously it is only chapter two, but so far every single character besides Katelyn is just a raging asshole. The player is thrown in the middle of a relationship that isn't going well which we don't know the reason why and His entire family hates him and we don't know why. The only thing positive is Katelyn, which is obviously the point of the game being its title but man... These characters need a little backstory before the game turns into a skip text simulator just to get to the renders.

 

[Safetydummy]

@Ellarai
You did your own laundry until Katelyn got caught masturbating. The laundry is her punishment. It'll only last two weeks.
###Ohhhh, I see. That makes a bit more sense, it's not an on-going thing just because she's there. I see said the blind man.

The Mother isn't a bad person, it's just that you've seen her so little. She sees Katelyn as herself. She is jealous of Katelyn when she does things that she herself didn't do. Katelyn is like a little project to her. Maybe I should add a more likeable scene with the mother.
###Tbth, this may help her case- I did notice that you said nothing to defend the father, so he's just a prick then? Lol I understand that you have to do this episodically- and there's rhyme and reason to why characters are the way they are, but with first impressions being everything- you're just so unsympathetic towards them. Out of curiosity, why isn't Jessica the mother's project?

 

[Ellaraia]

Obviously it is only chapter two, but so far every single character besides Katelyn is just a raging asshole. The player is thrown in the middle of a relationship that isn't going well which we don't know the reason why and His entire family hates him and we don't know why. The only thing positive is Katelyn, which is obviously the point of the game being its title but man... These characters need a little backstory before the game turns into a skip text simulator just to get to the renders.

Sophie isn't an asshole, she just doesn't like you. I don't know why the mother not wanting Katelyn to masturbate makes her an asshole.

 

[Ellaraia]

@Ellarai
You did your own laundry until Katelyn got caught masturbating. The laundry is her punishment. It'll only last two weeks.
###Ohhhh, I see. That makes a bit more sense, it's not an on-going thing just because she's there. I see said the blind man.

The Mother isn't a bad person, it's just that you've seen her so little. She sees Katelyn as herself. She is jealous of Katelyn when she does things that she herself didn't do. Katelyn is like a little project to her. Maybe I should add a more likeable scene with the mother.
###Tbth, this may help her case- I did notice that you said nothing to defend the father, so he's just a prick then? Lol I understand that you have to do this episodically- and there's rhyme and reason to why characters are the way they are, but with first impressions being everything- you're just so unsympathetic towards them. Out of curiosity, why isn't Jessica the mother's project?

Yes the father is an asshole.

Jessica is like 20, she's living her own life now. MC is still a project, and her main project. Katelyn is just a short-term project. She wants to make her experience in England a good one, and one without distractions.

She is actually inspired by lots of elderly Chinese women. If you ever visit China, lots of people are very friendly with you. The reason behind it is that they want you to know that China is the best country in the world. It feels good, then you learn the insults everyone in the street is muttering and you realise they think you are beneath them because you are not Chinese. The mother isn't like that, but she does want Katelyn to have a nice time with her.