Man, that ending was weak as fuck lol. Would have preferred a Netorase option rather than this clone saga rubbish. Chapter 1 was much better.
well not much to say about this update, all endings sucked, 1 was bit better where mc met young hui etc but even that sucked due being short (no continuing that story since hui etc are from other "dev's" game.)
1 game left on this ....... these "devs" to see how it ends and then i'm done.
Unfortuentely, in terms of writing it turned out as VN equivalent of "Game of Thrones" final season; with abruptly finished threads going nowhere, unsatysfying, rushed and lazy closure. The whole mystery building around clones and mind transfer went of the rails and did become completely inconsequential. This production suffers from somewhat typical "creator bored with his creation" syndrome.
Chapter 1 was really promising work, but to expand it and flush it out, you would need to really develop these characters, their kinks, sexual needs, love interests, personal limits and (changing) group dynamics. If you dumb it down to simple power grab or harem building with undeveloped
dramatis personae and just skim the surface, you're gonna miss the whole potential of your idea. And quickly get bored with it. Big opportunity wasted, but I guess we should be grateful NE2 was at least finished, not abandoned.
Anyway it's a shame, because you really have a lot of elements for a great, memorable story here.
OK, so now let me expand on this.
1.
New Earth has rare, near perfect premise which allows you to put almost every possible sexual scenario we can imagine. Consensual, nonconsensual, romantic monogamy, public group sex debauchery, swinging, all on one gangbangs, anything, because as a writer you can easily conjure the same rationale -
the greater good of world repopulation in certain situation demands it.
You can write every character evolving in certain ways of sex behaviour, be curious about different sex acts performed or prefered by others. Moreover they can be influnced not only by themselves and others, but also by EJ who can act as mating moderator/socio-cultural activist/bellwether, as she can create conditions in which the rest would need to conform to someone's kinks, needs or sex philosophy. Therefore you can switch moral standards of colony on basis of each task/challenge procured by Eunjoo to get population horny and ready to fuck in any configuration demanded.
Just think of the potental of sexual lottery combined with "The Love Boat" mixed with "Squid Games".
Each cycle or stage can have its winners and losers and potential fallback. If the crew/colonists can try to gain power to encourage Eunjoo to be benevolent to their specific needs or ideas you can have sex your way and impose that way on others, because she can enforce any set of norms and rationalize it as needed rules for certain voyage or colonisation phase. But on the other hand, characters who don't agree with that, can try to organise some underground opposition with different stance towards this mission, because someone's "sex policy" on the ship became much to opressive.
2. Eunjoo-1412 could be really great (and naughty) villain. But as such, she needs her own character arc. She can start in good shape as mission coordinator and ship aid, but then go haywire due to witnessing all of that sex on board. Let's say, EJ has her own mind of sorts, so she can get horny just as people do. But because she lacks any physical body of her own, she has no real means of getting release. So she can't get no satisfaction and it time makes her more and more sex crazed junkie on growing hunger. And that fucks her up and enables to use colonists as puppets on strings and provoke them to undertake more and more degenerate sex acts, because she needs more stronger stuff. And because she has ultimate power and controls the ship, she can set the rules. But on the other hand, she tries to stay loyal to original mission goals and often hides behind them or tries to convince us all of her decisions are neccessary for ultimate mission's sake.
Well, what could go possibly wrong, if HAL-9000 or GLaDOS with their quirks would get surveillance/supervision over repopulation mission?
It's a great "if" to explore in sex sci-fi story. But in
New Earth we get only basic sketch of that idea.
In Ch.2. when everything is completely normalized and sex scenes just happen as fan-fap-service without establishing anything new, Eunjoo-1412 as well is simply reduced to sex-Cortana or Roomba, operating system of sex toys, which is kinda lame, because it doesn't offer any tension, escalation or resolution. Neither we nor characters in story get to know her and her motives better, there is no proper mystery solving anymore, despite Ch.1 set up a lot of potential for it.
3. Evil techno-sex-god of fertility and its will should create a lot of feedback on board. Colonists would try different strategies to appease it, to hide from it, try to bargain with it, outsmart it, fight it or submit to it. Some of them would try different ways for securing their love interests, while others, more jealous would conspire with AI, to break those relationship to get someone else's pussy/dick for themselves.
You could easily imagine that sooner or later the divisions among colonists would appear. And many of them would be based on breeding policy. Yes, we know our colonisation mission demands that we should breed a lot, but there are many ways to do it.
a. Meritocratic serial monogamy - with Eunjoo-1412 as matchmaker making a list of consecutive best partners for each women with most promising offspirng chances. She can send people together on missions, or accomodate together in one room. But what if you won't get on a list to fuck your girl, because EJ thinks you are genetically subpar and as evil computer doesn't care who loves who?
b. Sperm competition polygamy - a.k.a. creampie gangbang model, in which there is no discimination, everybody gets a chance to impregnate any girl, but there is no exclusivity. Congratulations, Eunjoo-1412 creates events in which you will get a chance of having baby with your love interest, but hey, not only you!
c. Romantic courtship and trad family model - well, with horny evil AI on board, I wouldn't count this can last long.
EJ could divide and rule proponents of each of these "political" models, and play them against each other. But colonists themselves also would try to persuade or tempt others to submit to prefered rule set, because they think, rightly or wrongly this will suit their interests better.
The nice thing about
New Earth is ambiguity - initially we don't know, where EJ's will starts, and how far she's gonna go, to influence others. Maybe it didn't take much nudging and conspiring to get Veronica bounce on black dick, because that was her craving from the beginning and EJ only helped her to act on it.
The premise of NE is strong because it's based on
closed space personality lab with limited privacy and unavoidable hookups or conflicts over reproductive partners, tensions about possible rules of breeding. But if you want to play it right, you should learn how personality lab type of fiction should work.
Take
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as an example. There are just two pairs of spouses trying to make their points based on their worldview. Each of these persons takes a stance, defends it, tries to criticize others, sometimes demands solidarity from their significant other and sometimes gangs up on him/her and agrees with newly met others. You're watching interesting quagmire with everchanging alliances depending on topic of conversation. But you also learn something about these characters during and after exchanges they make.
New Earth could easily be something like
"Carnage" but with lots of dirty sex, broken personal limits and promises, newly acquired kink tastes... and even more emotional fallout after.
It's nice to see Veronica gangbanged, but it would be even nicer, if you could later talk with her about it, to see her personal opinion changing on that matter. To see what toll certain sex acts can take on those who perform it. I guess atmosphere or mood during breakfast in ship mesa would be different on the first day, and quite different just after night everybody fucked your girlfriend.
It's nice to see player character pegged in the ass by Gabrielle. But it would be much nicer, if you could find out earlier that she's into that stuff and try to avoid this humilation. Then, the effect would be much more devastating to your reputation. For example: what would Priscilla think about you, as earlier she had consider you as her savior and protector?
Yet here sex doesn't have emotional fallout from anybody. These characters are blanks, which is really a shame. They could have a lots of opinions about sex stuff and other people - before and after Eunjoo-1412 forces them into doing some kinky shit which they learn to like or not. But you need to plan this and keep some discipline in work structure for that. In Ch1. there was some, here, in Ch.2 there isn't. That's why I consider New Earth as just a sketch and half-baked idea, which is sad, because it has a potential of porn game masterpiece.
It could get epic!
4. And finally -
high concept stuff and if's.
Yes, MiZtyl took initially great stance on basic ideas for NE. This is high concept shit: "What if you would have been part of repopulation mission led by crazy AI?". It's awesome starting premise as it allows you freely invent other ifs.
"What if everyone on board thought at start they could pick their reproduction partners on their own, but later it would turned out that AI forced different strategy and turned ship into panopticon prison and manipulates them to fuck with people picked according to unknown criterion?"
"What if your girlfriend would be appointed to fuck with other man, because all powerful AI decided so?"
"What if general public on the ship would find out that people lost control of the ship and AI will decide alone how they will tackle all that breeding stuff?"
"What if some of the people on board would try to influence or hack AI or become loyal to it, so it would grant them more power, better position in group hierarchy or allow having sex acts which others oppose, forcing different sex customs on colony ship?"
"What if opinion division among colonists would break former friendship and love bonds and they would start new acquintances based on common erotic kinks?"
"What if some girls would not cope with gangbang routines and try to get back to vanilla romance?"
"What if due the actions of AI, everybody would finally get to know everyone else's secret dreams and erotic cravings and these would become public knowledge?"
You can go with these ifs how long you want. The main thing I want to demonstrate you, is this: they create ready made plot, drama and conflict points, which you can resolve in many different ways, just by answering questions they pose. But you need to develop characters so they could react to those ifs in multiple ways and create divisions among themselves and give feedback to the plot points.
High concept story writes itself, but only if you learn to ask right questions probing points of interest.
OK, that promising breeding-prison-ship sank, and...
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